No offense, but you suck as a person

First of all, I just wanted to say that I'm in a much better headspace today. I spent a few days bouncing around inside my brain, and quite frankly, it's a dark and scary place in there!

Lorelei understands

But I've emerged, none worse for the wear.

Granted, I'm still nervous and anxious about Friday, but not in a fetal-position-whimpering-reassuringly-whispering-to-myself kind of way. More in a "alright, fine, let's just do the damned thing" kind of way.

So here we are. Tuesday. Under-caffeinated. Coming down with a cold. Behind in this week's school work. Could really go for a nap.

But instead, I'm going to vent for a sec, then go back to reading about Hinduism for my World Religion's class.

So ever have one of those friends that seem great at first, but then the more you get to know them and the more they come around, the more you realize you actually don't like them as a human being and their presence makes you want to rip your face off?

Yeah.

I'm having that sort of thing happening right now.

Only it's not my friend, it's The Husband's friend.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those jealous, controlling harpies that's just pissed her man is hanging out with someone other than her. No, no.

Even my husband has grown weary of this friend.

See, here's the situation...

So for awhile, this friend was married and doing the whole work/family/spouse thing, and we saw them maybe every two or three months. And that was totally fine. They seemed pleasant enough, and we had a good time hanging out (besides the fact that their children were horribly behaved and would never leave my house without having destroyed something first, and the wife couldn't hold a conversation, which was challenging).

Then, as their marriage deteriorated, we saw them less and less, until finally they separated. Then we only saw this friend occasionally when he was passing through town- again, probably once every couple of months.

This once-every-few-months trend continued for quite some time, until the guy's dating life in his home town quickly dried up (partly because it's already slim pickings to begin with in such a small town, and partly because, well, turns out he's not so pleasant...but we'll come to that). Once the dating scene no longer had anything (or, anyone) to offer him, he began venturing over to our neck of the woods more and more.

Once a month.

Once every three weeks.

Now it's once every other week, sometimes more.

(And he's planning to move over here soon... sweet baby Jesus, help me)

Somewhere along the way, this trend developed where this friend would stop by on his way either in or out of town and I'd end up making dinner for him.

Then it quickly turned into an assumption that on his way back home every weekend he could stop by our house and get a free meal and a bottle of wine.

And then this past weekend, he showed up with all of his kids in tow- not having given us a heads up that all of them would be here, mind you- and assumed that I'd feed everyone.

I was...displeased, to say the least. On top of which, when he got here he dumped his kids off (without consulting me first) to go to the store to get wine (of course) and within five minuted of his children being here I was having to clean up pee in the guest bathroom because his children still can't seem to hit the toilet (and trust me, they are old enough to know better) (but at least this time they didn't pee in the corner of a room, or in the sink, or the garbage can, or a potted plant, or on each other... I kid you not...)

Anyway, I think that all of this- the assumptions, the taking for granted, the feeling slightly walked over- would be tolerable, except for this lovely little personality quirk that The Husband and I began to notice a couple of months ago.

The friend seems to live in this delusional, ironic world where he feels totally justified in making comments and offering advice on any and all topics, and meanwhile his life is an epic tornado of chaos and filth.

Erm...Seriously?!?

He has tried to give me parenting advice on how to teach my youngest son manners (which you just don't do, ask any parent!) all the while his children, as mentioned above, have no concept of manners, are barely potty trained when they are far too old to still be having issues with that, haven't been taught to wash their hands, shower, or have any sort of personal hygiene, and tear through anywhere they enter like it's a free-for-all bouncy house.

And really dude, you want to give me advice on how to teach my two year-old how to remember to say please and thank you?!? Are you kidding me?!? Step off, bro.

And not being biased, but my two year-old has better manners than any of your children, so focus on your own brood and keep your trap shut.

On top of this, he asks constantly if I'm still working out regularly (none of your freaking business, why do you care?), tells me that I need to not let my oldest son eat so much or else he'll be a fat kid (even though he's skinny as a rail and incredibly active, and this friend's kids are all pudgy), comments about and questions my husband's and my eating habits (even though this friend has gained quite a bit of weight lately, literally cannot cook, and wouldn't know a vegetable or whole grain if it hit him in the face), and constantly makes these snarky, belittling digs at my husband, which really pisses me off.

But the worst part?

This friend likes to throw around how much money he makes. Constantly. Like, any chance he gets to bring it up, he will.

He's also totally taking advantage of my husband (or trying at least), yet he acts like he's doing us this huge favor by hanging around.

All of it adds up to a total lack of tact, humility, and self-awareness. And I'm just done dealing with it.

I told my husband I don't want this guy coming around for awhile, because I'm sick of his shit. When he was here this past weekend, I literally had the urge to punch him in his smug face.

I can step back and psychologize the situation and see that this friend is genuinely unhappy in his life, and therefore is probably trying to tear us down in order to make himself feel better. But it's unnecessary, inappropriate, and I'm done dealing with it.

He's not God's gift to the business world.

He's not God's gift to the dating world.

I'm sorry, but he's not all that great as an overall person.

With him being suddenly so involved in our lives, I've realized (as has my husband) that he's not a very nice person after all. No wonder his wife was so miserable! If he makes these comments to me, I can only imagine the misogynistic crap he threw her way.

Bye bye gluten...?

So, I'm not gonna lie... I'm having a hard day today.

This is the week of my colonoscopy/endoscopy, and I'm starting to get really nervous.

I have absolutely no appetite. In fact, food is repulsing me. I can't focus on school. My thought processes are disjointed, as if I had a ton of caffeine, only I haven't.

I don't know why I'm so freaked out. I genuinely don't think they're going to find cancer. I don't.

But I think it's the other spectrum of possibilities that is beginning to weigh on me.

On the one end of this spectrum, it could be absolutely nothing and they could send me home saying "You're fine, we don't know why you feel like crap all the time, too bad, good luck". And I'll have had a somewhat invasive procedure done for nothing.

On the other end (minus the cancer option, of course), they could find a ton of polyps, or precancerous lesions, or, I don't know, gremlins. I could have celiac's, or an ulcer, which would be perfectly deal-with-able if not slightly inconvenient. I don't know what other options are for what they'll find, and quite frankly, I'm purposely not looking it up because I don't want to scare myself.

I'm also full-on dreading the prep I have to do for the procedure. Namely drinking a gallon of disgusting laxatives and then... well... you know... dealing with that. *yay me!*

I just don't like the unknown, and this is one big unknown.

Having done a little research into celiac's, it is a fairly decent contender for explaining my symptoms. Apparently, 1 in 133 Americans have celiac's disease, and only something like 5 percent even know it. However, because the definition and diagnosis for celiac's is so narrow, tons of people have all the same symptoms and yet fail to technically have the full blown autoimmune disease. They're still working out the definition and diagnosis for gluten intolerance, or gluten allergy, or gluten sensitivity- whatever it will end up being called. Either way, avoiding gluten makes it all better for both groups of people, and I've been considering doing a trial run of going gluten-free, to see if it helps, even if I don't come back as officially having celiac's.

This of course poses a whole other conundrum of changing out my entire diet. I love me some bread and pasta, I've never been one of those carb-free girls. Carbs be good, dammit! But now I will have to switch things out and start researching foods and recipes...it could be fun! It's also adding to my stress though, because that's just the mental space I am in right now.

My husband's coworker has celiac's, and she's a total foodie and has a million cookbooks and recipes, so I think I'm going to hit her up for info and advice.

And until then... I'm going to try and eat something. An apple and two bites of oatmeal does not suffice!

Scoping it out

So first of all, the garden is officially planted! Whoohoo! Today was finally nice enough, for once.

Second, I mentioned previously about going to see a gastroenterologist last week, and that I would go into that in a whole separate post.

Well, ladies and gents, this is that post. Aren't you excited?!? I know I am...

Suffice it to say... the appointment didn't go as I'd expected. It was just a consultation, and I fully expected that this doctor would be like all the other doctors with whom I have discussed my symptoms- he'd tell me I was fine and that we'd address that whole pesky family-history-of-colon-cancer thing at a later date- a condescending verbal pat on the head, if you will.

Nope.

Dude got right down to business, and he wasn't messing around. He said that while he doesn't think my current symptoms indicate anything serious (which I expected), the significantly early age of my dad's cancer is "deeply concerning" (uh oh).

Apparently back when my dad had cancer (1999-2000) they didn't really do genetic testing very commonly in order to determine the cause of someone's cancer- whether it be gene mutation or bad luck. Nowadays they do the genetic test almost all the time, and especially in someone who's cancer is an outlier (as my dad's was). Since there is no way to know if my dad got this test or not without some serious medical sleuthing and cyberstalking family members I haven't been in contact with in 20 years, that's a crinkle in the "plan" (I have a "plan"?...oh crap...). Because genetic-based cancers tend to be far more aggressive than 'bad luck' cancers, I may end up having to have colonoscopies done every year- rather than every five years- to stay on top of any potential changes. Lucky me.

He also started throwing out percentages, but I've chosen to block those out because they freaked be out a bit.

But the GI doc won't really know what path to take until we get the first test out of the way, so we scheduled a colonoscopy. He also scheduled an endoscopy (tube down the throat) because apparently my persistent and unexplained nausea and heartburn is also bad (um...crap) and could be a sign of celiac's disease (dammit...). So I get to drink a gallon of industrial-strength paint thinner laxatives AND have a biopsy of my duodenum.

Fun day!

Post-visit blues

Not gonna lie, I'm bumming pretty hard right now.

My friend left to go home first thing this morning, and it always saddens me when our visits are over because they are usually so short. We grew up three houses down from each other, and now we only get to see each other a couple times a year at the most. It sucks a little bit.

Confession: after she left I may have crawled back in bed a little teary-eyed.

But!

Since she lives about four hours away now, and this is the closest we've lived to each other in, oh, 15 years, we plan to take full advantage of it. We were discussing trading off visits- she comes down one month, I go up there the next month- in order to see each other more frequently.

She's one of my most favorite-est people ever, and I miss her greatly, and it would be lovely to be more regularly involved in each other's lives.

Plus, I love Victoria, it's such a pretty city!

Right? Right?!?

So now life goes back to normal. I have a quiz to write for my Race and Ethnicity class that I've been putting off all week. I have laundry to do. And I have a bunch of TV shows to get caught up on since I've turned the TV on maybe twice this week total.

But first the quiz. Always the quiz.

Inking it up

So we are two days into having Age visit (she's sitting on the other end of the couch right now watching The Client List on her laptop) and so far I've been having fun visiting with her. (Hopefully she is too!)

Yesterday morning I had my GI appointment (that'll be a whole other post). Afterwards, we headed back to my town and roamed around the historical district for awhile, popping into kitschy antique stores and vintage clothing consignments and artsy fartsy co-op shops. There were a few vintage '60s dresses that I was madly in love with, but sadly they were either too big or too expensive, so I had to walk away. I'm obsessed with the style of the '60s and '70s, so I tend to gravitate towards those very distinct styles of clothes. I did come away with a cute flippy hippie skirt and a puffy outdoorsy vest, so that was a score, even if they're not even remotely the decades I was searching for.

Found something similar to this, only in
a mint tweed. Sah cyute!

Afterwards we headed to this cute little cafe that specializes in healthy, all natural, organic, locally sourced food. I love eating there, it makes me happy. They have a great salad bar, yummy homemade soups, and a delicious assortment of sandwiches and smoothies and juice blends. It was gooooood!

Then we headed home so I could get a bit of school work done before heading out again to go to my tattoo appointment.

I got three butterflies on my upper back- one customized for each of my kids. They're really pretty, and later on I'm going to get the background filled in around them, but for now I'm okay leaving them as is, because quite frankly, it hurt like a bitch! This one hurt way worse than my forearm, which surprised me a bit. But I was a big girl and got through it. I couldn't wimp out when Age was with me! I also got my forearm touched up, since there were a few spots that were a little uneven.

My sister went after me, and got her first tattoo- an interpretation of this little green monster drawing my son made when he was probably 6 or so. It's super cute and turned out really well. She's going to add on two other monsters for the other two kids once she has the inspiration for them.

Today, I need to refocus and get more school work done, and I also have to go get supplies for my daughter's birthday party this weekend.

There's no rest for the wicked. Even if their backs hurt from getting fresh ink!

Edjumucated

As I mentioned yesterday, I start spring quarter tomorrow.

AND!!!

This quarter marks four quarters left until I graduate!

Sweet baby Jesus, I never thought I'd ever see the end in sight. But it's coming, and I'm glad. I would be done sooner if I took summer classes, but let's face it, my summer breaks are the only thing keeping me sane at this point. Plus, we have a big road trip to Wyoming planned for July, and I'm sure as heck not going to try and juggle school and needing constant internet access while also criss-crossing multiple states and doing all the touristy goodness.

So yeah, one year left. I can dig it.

Since I am a stay-at-home-mom and have some serious schedule restrictions, taking online classes was pretty much the only way I'd be able to get my degree done any time soon. I decided to attend City University of Seattle, since you can do online or in person classes (strictly online schools don't seem as legit to me, I want to be able to meet the people behind the scenes), and because it is a proven, fully accredited, high-quality, non-profit, non-scam-y school (unlike so many others!)

I've known many people who have graduated from CityU and were able to get really good jobs afterwards, not find themselves unemployable with a bullshit degree like *some* people we know. Yes, that was catty, but after so many months of mocking my school, it turns out the joke was on them. So neener-neener.

(Yes, I'm a mature adult, I swear!)

ANYHOODLE, besides my degree capstone, which I can't take until my very last quarter, all I have left are electives, and since I've been taking such dry, predictable business classes lately, I decided to branch out and take more interesting classes for my electives.

This may prove to be a mistake, but we'll see...

This quarter I am taking a humanities class, Intro to World Religions, and a psychology class, Race and Ethnic Issues in America. I was super stoked about these classes until yesterday when, while gathering my course information, such as my syllabi, course schedules, grading rubrics, and the first week's assignments, I stumbled across a little tidbit of info that instilled the fear of God in me.

Or, at least the fear of the APA Citation Nazi.

See, spring quarter of last year I took an anthropology class, and while I highly enjoyed the entire class and was getting straight A's and all was hunky-dory, after submitting my final paper of the class, my instructor tried accusing me of plagiarism.

The only problem though? I hadn't plagiarized!!!

And she even admitted as much.

She just didn't like the way I had structured one of my paragraphs and felt I should have done it differently, and was basically holding my entire academic future hostage in order to force her opinion down my throat. It was absolute bullshit. She made me rewrite the entire paper in one day, and while I complained to my advisor and found out this is the way this teacher tends to operate (and still came away with an A in the class), it completely ruined my entire anthropology experience.

And now?!? That same instructor is the course manager for my Religions class.

Educational facepalm

So I now find myself dreading my Religions class. Basically, I'm just going to be super-duper on top of all of my citations and be the brown-nosing overachiever that everyone hates but that is necessary to not have to deal with Her Majesty Queen of the Power Trip.

Oy.

On top of that, I can always tell when school is starting back up because of the knot of stress that squarely lodges itself in my guts and stays there for the following ten weeks. Ugh. The knot is definitely bigger this time around.

Housewifery, Canadians, and tattoos

So my To Do list for this weekend keeps growing. And growing.

The weather is crappy, so no yard or garden work will be getting done, but that's okay, because my inside chores are enough to keep me plenty busy.

First, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Adrienne, is coming to visit on Tuesday, so I need to get my house absolutely spotless. Not that I need to impress her. I mean, we've been friends since we were almost five, so I'm pretty sure she won't judge me if my house isn't in museum shape. But still, my OCD requires that my house be as perfect as possible for guests. (Then again, I try to keep my house spiffy anyway for my own sanity, so I guess nothing's really new!) (A tidy house equals a tidy brain)

This is the first time Age will be visiting our new house. Well, I guess it's not that new, we've been here for over a year and a half, but she was living all the way across the continent until just recently, so her last visit was almost three years ago. I'm excited to get to spend some time with her. I feel like she makes me sane. While we have plenty of friends around here, she's the only one that I feel totally myself with. She's known me almost my whole life, and it's rare to have people in your life for that long. She's a peach!

Age is going to be here for the better part of the week, and while it sucks that the kids and I have school and The Husband has work, we'll still rock it! On Wednesday my sister and I have appointments to get tattoos, and Age is pretty much an expert in that field (*cough* cough* getthegypsytattooyouknowyouwantto *cough *cough*) so she's coming along for moral support. And I'm trying not-so-subtly (see above) to convince her to get one she's been thinking about for quite a while. She has her whole back and both sides done, but hey, there's always room for more!

This will be my second tattoo, and my sister's first, so we're both very excited about it. I'm a little nervous since I'm getting mine down my spine, and the pain factor is... unknown and intimidating. But I'm a big girl and didn't even flinch during my first one, so hopefully I won't be the sissy whimpering in the corner...

Besides that, Age will also be here for my daughter's birthday party next weekend, which is super awesome! She can help me plan and cook and decorate! Yay for free help friends!

I don't know what else we will end up doing this week, I think we'll just wing it. One of the nights we want to take her to our favorite restaurant, assuming we can get a sitter. Beyond that? Who knows!

Coinciding with Age's visit, spring quarter starts on Monday. However, the portal opened yesterday, so I'm going to try and get as much of the first week's homework done as quickly as possible. That way, I won't have much to do that will be interfering with actual, you know, fun stuff. Of course, this means that I need to get a move on, like, now.