School's Out Forever!!!

That's right, ladies and gents. I am OFFICIALLY a college graduate.

B.A. in Business Management, betches.

Not to be obnoxious, but...

I know. I'm sorry. I hate to be that annoying, braggy parent. But I'm a very proud mama today, so I'm just going with the bragitude. You've been warned.

My son is in 5th grade this year, but he has been taking 6th grade math. We just found out yesterday that, based on his grades, testing scores, and achievement levels, he has been accepted into the Honors Pre-Algebra class for next year, which means he will be taking math at the Junior High, even though he will only be in 6th grade. 

That whole thing is pretty cool, and makes me braggy enough as it is, but there's more.

If this Honors class goes well and he remains on the advanced track, he will begin earning high school credit for math… in 7th grade.

Yes. Algebra I is the beginning of the high school math credits, and that is the class that follows Honors Pre-Algebra. That means that by the time he is a senior in high school, the district will have run out of traditional math offerings for him. He'll have completed them all.

So, like I said, proud mama!!!

I wonder if I can start having him balance my checkbook for me…? Does weekly allowance cover menial budgetary tasks?

It wouldn't be spring in the Front Range without insane weather patterns

Friday: sunny and 78 degrees.

Saturday: sunny and 75 degrees.

Sunday: snowing and 22 degrees….

Welcome to spring in the High Plains?

The Husband and I took our new travel trailer for a test run this weekend, and went camping down at Cherry Creek State Park just south of Aurora, Colo. (Or, more accurately, the campground is actually nestled within the city, which was… a new experience for us. Our campground back in Washington was 30 miles north of nowhere!)

There's snow in them there clouds...

It was a lovely, albeit quick, trip, and we made many, many camping and road trip plans for the coming spring and summer months! We did, however, get snowed out on Sunday, so our weekend was cut short. Thank goodness we left when we did, because we hit a perfect break in the weather that made it (at least slightly) less hairy getting back to Cheyenne.

And I have to say, I felt sorry for the poor saps in their tents… been there, done that, it sucks when the weather turns on you and all that is between you and Mother Nature's fury is a thin wall of polyurethane-coated fabric!

My day thus far has consisted of massive loads of laundry; getting the trailer linens and dishes cleaned and squared away; paying bills; and other general housewifery items.

I had planned on making a grocery run as well, but yesterday's stupid snow fall and subsequent deep freeze put a damper on that, on account of the ice rinks we call roads. I'll get to it tomorrow, since it'll be the only nice day this week!

I also need to attend to that whole pesky school thing. Spring quarter starts today.

Blergh.

BUT!!!!! FINAL QUARTER!!!!!

I've thus far managed to avoid any and all school work today. Because what better way to kick off my last quarter than through intense procrastination, amiright?!?

Lucky it's a super light week. (And one of my only light weeks all quarter… le sigh…)

I'll get it done. I always do. I just have to put my house back together first. Because as it turns out, while RV camping is in many ways much easier and more convenient than tent camping, there's one thing they don't tell you. Your house still ends up looking like a bomb went off in it when you get back!

Is there anything better than a campfire?

Something wicked this way comes...

I mean school, of course.

Winter quarter is officially upon me. Like an elephant sitting on my chest.

It's gonna be hell, ladies and and gents. Utter hell!

My sociology class should be fine. It's the same instructor I had for last quarter's sociology class (who was awesome), only this is a much lower level class. So easy peasy there.

My econ class I'm still unsure of, because we don't have any papers this quarter (hallelujah), but we have "homework assignments" every other week. Now, in classes past, such "homework assignments" ranged anywhere from "no biggie" to pulling my hair out "are you kidding me?!?", depending on the class. So that's the big unknown. But I've tended to like econ classes in the past, so fingers crossed!

My psychology class?

Oh. Dear. God.

My instructor is already an utter nightmare, and the class has barely even started yet. Her instructions for how she wants us to do the discussion questions and class responses? So unbelievably specific. Like, word count, exact time frame, number of sources cited, etc.

Her introduction to the class was like 10 paragraphs long. Most teachers'? Two or three. At most.

The typical class requires you to have submitted your discussion question answers by Wednesday at midnight, then responded to the specified number of other students' answers by Sunday at midnight. You can respond to other students at any point during the week as long as you fulfill the set requirements.

Not so in this class. We are NOT ALLOWED to respond to other students before Wednesday afternoon, but we have to have our initial three responses done by Thursday at noon. Then, and only then, can we proceed with "further discussion". And we are not allowed to end a conversation. Out of things to say? Too bad! Keep it going! And we have to respond to any question she opens up to the class in another student's discussion thread. And we have to include sources to support all of our opinions. And on and on and on.

Suffice it to say, I regret taking psychology already. I thought it would be an interesting class. Not a tedious OCD-fest.

I keep reminding myself that this is only temporary. That it's a means to an end- my degree. That I only have two quarters left before I am done with school forever.

Like my grandma always says, "This, too, shall pass".

I just don't know yet if my sanity will pass with it!

So just a heads up, my blogging may dry up in the coming ten weeks as I try to keep up with my insane school demands.

And that sound you hear?

That's just me having a mental and emotional breakdown along the way.

Pay no attention to the crazy lady sitting in the corner rocking back and forth, muttering to herself and weeping silently. She's just the fool who decided to take on an extra course load!

TGIF and other nonsense

It's Friday!

The weekend is officially here, and I am officially stoked.

I love weekends. I live for weekends.

Especially right now, when life is incredibly busy and going to get even more so in the coming weeks.

First, with our insane commuting schedule living so far away from Cheyenne. It's inconvenient, to say the least. Needless to say, we're all looking forward to the house being done and our lives resuming some semblance of a normal schedule.

Second, I start school in a couple of weeks, so once again I will be plunged into the chaos of earning a degree whilst running a household and raising three children and all that brouhaha. But only three quarters left, so I just need to buckle down for...9 more months...

It's depressing when I put it that way...

And third, we're moving soon. Again. Moving is one of the most stressful events in a person's life. And we will have done it twice in four months. Just thinking about that makes my eye twitch.

But we did get good news on the house! I think I mentioned before about how our builders had a very different timeframe than us when it came to the house being done. They had been planning on the end of November. Our purchase contract states our closing date is at the end of October. Slightly big difference, yes?

Well, once this came to light there was a flurry of *slightly intense* conversations between us, our real estate agent, and the builders. The builders came back with a promise that we'd be in no later than the middle of November. Considering our lease ends November 15, that was cutting it a little close, but what can we do?

But then we got a text yesterday from the builder saying that the carpet order came in, so now all the materials are in and ready to go. She said it looks like we're on track for the end of October after all!

Granted, given all the hiccups and headaches we've had so far, I'm not holding my breath on that.

But still. Having that be feasible?

Totally cool with me!

So yes, right now weekends are my solace, my peace, my zen. It's the only time of the week for the foreseeable future that I can do what I want, and according to the schedule that works for me.

TGIF baby!

Good luck not having this song stuck in your
 head all weekend now!

Sociology of Marvin the Martian

My textbooks came today.

*dunh dunh dunh*

Yep. Fall quarter is officially just around the corner. Slightly over three weeks away.

I can feel it lurking, staring at me, daring me to once again maintain my 3.9 GPA and my sanity simultaneously.

It's not an easy feat, and thus far I've done... well, not too bad overall. Oceanography nearly killed me, but that was awhile ago, and the scars are finally beginning to fade.

Too dramatic, you say?

I assure you, it's not. That class was brutal. I swear it left me with a limp.

Anyway, this is my LAST fall quarter ever! Well, unless I go to grad school. But right now the thought makes me gag slightly, so I'll put a pin in it until... indefinitely...

So yes, Last Fall Quarter.

This is quite possibly my last "not scary" quarter. Winter will be when I laughingly try to juggle an extra course load, and Spring is when I'll be doing my utterly terrifying degree capstone.

This quarter I'm taking Intro to Philosophy, because I love nothing more than blithering on about metaphysical nonsense, and Sociology of the Family, because it genuinely sounded interesting (and the other sociology class I wanted ended up being canceled for this quarter, so plan B).

My main stress for this quarter (besides the "new class" jitters) is the fact that I will be moving right in the middle of it. Which means that I'll need to arrange internet service before we're even in the house, because I will absolutely not be able to wait two weeks or, god forbid, have to attempt dial-up or DSL! It also means that I'll have to do all of my assignments while also packing, loading, and unpacking my entire life, once again.

Le sigh.

I swear, somewhere inside my brain is a tiny little sadist...

Or just him...

A case of the stressed out blahs

So I'm a bit of a stressball right now. And I can see that it is completely ridiculous on my part to be worrying about things that aren't even on the horizon for several months, but I'm feeling under the weather today, and I guess that has made me more susceptible to stressing out about random nonsense.

The kids brought home a lovely cold-y/flu-y thing from school towards the end of last week, and apparently today is my turn.

I'm just so lucky I could swoon!

No really, my head is really fuzzy and if I stand for too long I start to get a little dizzy and, well, swoon-y.

It's been a fun day so far, let me tell ya! What with the splitting headache that makes me feel like someone is stabbing dull steak knives into my brain. Or the waves of nausea that make me feel like I'm trapped in a skiff on super choppy waters. Or the weak, floppy feeling I have, where just the effort to brush my teeth or blow-dry my hair left me needing to lay down for a bit.

Oh yeah, and the utter lack of an attention span!

(Well, I guess the attention span thing may actually be pretty normal...)

But I digress. So I feel like crap today. And it's an absolutely gorgeous day outside. And I can't go enjoy these last delicious days of summer because of the I-feel-like-death-on-a-stick situation I find myself in.

So the next logical choice?

Well, have an overwhelming desire to bake brownies, for one. And anyone who knows me knows that I hate baking outside of Christmastime, so clearly I'm not well in the head!

And also?

Start worrying about the fact that you have to take three classes winter quarter, instead of the usual two.

Yeah...

You know, because winter quarter doesn't start until the middle of January. As in, 2014. As in, four and a half months away.

Let me explain.

This is my last year of school before I graduate with my degree in business management and get that little piece of paper that says "Yay you, you're smart!"

I officially have three quarters left, and I could not be more excited about it! It's taken me, oh, about a bajillion years (choosing what you want to be when you grow up is difficult, okay?) but I'm finally here. The end is nigh!

But for whatever reason, my classes worked out kind of wonky, so I have seven classes left. Which means that I either extend my timeframe and take my business capstone in the summer, or I buckle down and take three classes at once in order to be done on time.

I'm opting for the three classes option.

It's far from ideal. After all, the two classes that constitute a full-time load are generally difficult enough, the idea of juggling three is certainly daunting. Each class generally requires at least 10-15 hours of work per week. And that's not counting the extra time required for research and writing papers and taking tests and all that. Those 10-15 hours are just for the reading assignments (the average is a minimum of 50 pages per week per class), the discussion question responses, and the peer responses.

The three classes that quarter are all going to be lower-level electives, so I'm going to try and take classes that are a little gentler on my sanity, but you can't really predict how that winds up, because there is so much variation between instructors. It's a total crapshoot.

So why not just bump the capstone back, you say?

Well, for one, because I want to be done as quickly as possible. And for two, because thanks to a little-publicized policy change that our lovely former president George W. Bush instituted, undergrads can only borrow so much for their degree, regardless of school.

So if you attend a community college? You can afford to go to school for probably ten years before you hit your cap.

If you attend a higher quality school? You barely squeeze in under the cut off.

And for those attending, say, an Ivy League school? Fahgettaboutit!

(Then again, aren't all Ivy League-ers rich to begin with? So like they're borrowing for their education, amiright?!?)

Anyhoodle, so yeah, because I'm squarely in the independent middle class, and because I'm attending a higher quality school, my loan limits will be reached spring quarter. Which means I'm squeezing in three classes winter quarter. And I'll still have to pay a bit out of pocket for the third class.

But it's still cheaper than paying for the capstone completely out of pocket.

That course is freaking expensive!!!

There isn't enough caffeine in the world...

Life has been a bit... stressful... over the last couple of weeks. And this week it's going to get a whole lot more so (but in more of a good way).

So I mentioned about a week and a half ago about the absolute shit day I was having. I'd been feeling ill, our apartment had come under assault by a airborne chunk of concrete, and then to top it all off, it was looking like our mortgage was going to fall through because of some stupid seven-and-a-half-year-old medical debt that was less than half of a percentage of the purchase price of the house we are building.

We have also disputed this debt in the past, the credit bureaus themselves have disputed the debt, and I also have a payment stub from seven years ago showing that one of the debts they have listed was already paid in full! So clearly things are not on the up and up.

We tried contacting the company holding the debt, and they were, well, awful, to put it mildly. They not only wanted the entire amount of the debt listed (despite the fact that part of it was paid years ago and the credit bureaus dispute that rest is even ours), but they also wanted to tack on other debt that they claimed they had of ours (even though it didn't show up on our credit and they admitted they couldn't prove it was ours in the first place). On top of that, they refused to give us anything in writing saying the debt would have been paid off and they refused to remove it from our credit even if we paid the entire amount of NOT OUR debt.

Shady, shady, shady.

We actually looked up this company, and apparently, this is what they do. They have been sued many times because of it. They buy old debts from other, more legit collection companies, they pool the debts into one big group, then assign them randomly to people. They don't actually pay off the debts with the money they collect, they don't follow collection regulations, and the fact that they are still in business is mind-boggling to me.

So we called the mortgage guy we had been working with and told him what was going on, thinking he would be understanding and be willing to work around this hiccup. Especially since we have such a large down payment ready to go.

Nope.

He refused to move forward on our mortgage without that final debt being removed from our credit. Never mind the fact that it is over seven years old and shouldn't even be on our credit anymore anyway. Never mind the fact that I had records of paying the debt they were claiming we owed. Never mind the fact that we had records of the credit bureaus trying to remove this debt from our credit and this company refusing. And never mind the fact that this company is involved in illegal collection practices, hadn't contacted us over these supposedly important debts, and the amount they claimed we owed would have in no way impacted our ability to pay our bills.

Dude was just an ass. Plain and simple.

So after a day or two of feeling really down, watching our dreams crumble over something that should never have been an issue in the first place (I mean, we already bought one house for crissake, and this debt would have been on there then, and it didn't matter!), we decided to rally.

I'm not a quitter. I never have been.

If there is a way to make it work, by God I'm going to find it.

So I did!

We contacted our previous mortgage broker in Washington and explained the situation to him, and he actually laughed out loud at how ridiculous it all was! He said that no, this debt should never have mattered in the first place, given its age AND the documented history of trying to address it. He said that any mortgage broker worth their salt knows that this particular collection agency is a total scam and is generally just ignored. He said that if he were our broker, he could 99.99% guarantee us the mortgage.

Unfortunately, he's not licensed in Wyoming.

Le sigh.

But we found someone in the same parent company that is! And he also thought the crap we had been put through was insane. And he also guaranteed us it wouldn't be an issue and that he could get the mortgage through underwriting without a hitch. And he said that given how good our credit is, we qualify for the best government loans available, which means lower interest rates, which is pretty sweet.

So we are back on track.

We fired the douchebag mortgage guy, and our real estate agent, Mike, has even ceased recommending people to him because of all this. Mike said this guy used to be really good and go out of his way for his mortgage customers, but lately he's been all about the money, charging higher interest rates for no reason other than the added profit, not being willing to work around any hiccup in someone's credit (even though almost all people have a hiccup or two), not answering or returning phone calls, and just being an arrogant jerk in general. Mike said our situation with him was the last straw. If this guy wasn't even able to help someone with as good of credit and as much of a down payment as we have, he doesn't deserve Mike's business.

I concur!

So we got that settled. I will still be a little nervous, because nothing is ever certain until it is complete. So until we have signed papers and have those keys in our hands, I'll be a little antsy. But we can resume being excited about our house. And that's a good feeling.

So that was why the past couple of weeks have been stressful.

This coming week is a whole other, albeit more tolerable, ball game.

The kids start school on Tuesday. They will be attending the school that is just down the road from our future house, which will be super convenient once we're living there.

Until then, however? Logistical nightmare.

Right now we live almost an hour away. And we have to plan for morning traffic heading north. The plan for the next couple of months is for The Husband to take the kids to school on his way to work, and then pick them up after school and bring them home when he's done. The hour and a half between school getting out and Husband's work being done, the kids will hang out in his office and do homework.

This is the most sensible plan, though it isn't the most desirable. We decided it doesn't make sense for both of us to be driving back and forth from Fort Collins to Cheyenne every day. The gas budget would absolutely explode!!!

BUT...

This week? The Husband is in meetings all week for a huge conversion they're working on at the hospital.

Which means that I have to take the kids and pick them up all week. I was originally planning on going for the open house and the first day of school, obviously, but now it's an all week thing. And I weep for my gas consumption!

We decided that I'd just plan ahead, bring snacks and toys and all the necessary provisions, and we'd all drive together in the morning, drop The Husband off at work on the way to the school, and then me and Monkey would just hang out in Cheyenne all day.

All. Freaking. Day.

Cheyenne's great and all. But there's only so much to do! And I'll have eight hours every day to kill. I think we will be spending a lot of time at the many parks in town.

BUT!

The trusses for the roof of our house began going up on Friday! Which means the framing will be done very shortly! Which means we will get to meet with the builder to do our framing walk through and pick out everything for the house!

Cabinets. Countertops. Flooring. Finishes. Appliances.

I'm hoping we will get to do that this week.

Because, really?!? Otherwise it's going to be a long, boring week...

Apparently Louis C.K. hasn't spend much time in Cheyenne...

Bobbing and weaving

Alright.

So things are getting better.

I mean, they're not at all what I had expected, hoped for, or necessarily wanted.

But I guess life is all about being flexible, right?

So the whole Alaska thing is in the process of being resolved. I already have a folder's worth- yes, a whole file folder!- of documentation in dealing with this nonsense.

We had our appraisal today, which I guess went well? I have no clue. The appraiser said we had a lovely home, so hopefully that translates to it being appraised at a value that does not screw us over on the sales price. It shouldn't, but considering how things have been going the past few days, I'm not believing anything until I see it in writing.

So assuming the appraisal turns out well, then we move toward closing. Our buyers are getting USDA financing, so it's going to take longer than I would like to close, but hey, whatever.

At this point?

I just want to move forward, have a closing date set, and hope for the best. I've given up fighting for things to go exactly my way.

Apparently the universe has decided that me making plans is HILARIOUS!!!

We've all but missed out on the original house we wanted to buy in Cheyenne. I mean, it's still available right now. But by the time we finally close on the sale of this house? Our realtor down there has said it isn't likely the house will still be available.

So Plan B.

We're going to submit an offer on another lot in the same neighborhood. This lot is just in the permit stage, so it'll be approximately four months before we'll get to move in, but it's our next best option.

This of course means we will be stuck renting for a few months once we get down there, but I've accepted that. As long as we have a plan to follow, I'm good. This whole being-in-limbo thing is killing me.

I also realized today that I'm going to be in Cheyenne next week. As in, the last week of Spring Quarter. As in, when all of my major assignments are due!

Fuck.

For some reason this hadn't dawned on me until this morning. So now I have to do a mad scramble to finish everything before next Thursday morning. This includes reading 250+ slides on Islam followed by two discussion questions, the last chapter in my Race and Ethnicity book followed by two discussion questions and a quiz, as well as two term papers- one for each class.

...

Oy vey.

Oh yeah, and my son's birthday party is this weekend, so I have to clean my house and move all of our packing stuff... somewhere...

Solid plan

Inking it up

So we are two days into having Age visit (she's sitting on the other end of the couch right now watching The Client List on her laptop) and so far I've been having fun visiting with her. (Hopefully she is too!)

Yesterday morning I had my GI appointment (that'll be a whole other post). Afterwards, we headed back to my town and roamed around the historical district for awhile, popping into kitschy antique stores and vintage clothing consignments and artsy fartsy co-op shops. There were a few vintage '60s dresses that I was madly in love with, but sadly they were either too big or too expensive, so I had to walk away. I'm obsessed with the style of the '60s and '70s, so I tend to gravitate towards those very distinct styles of clothes. I did come away with a cute flippy hippie skirt and a puffy outdoorsy vest, so that was a score, even if they're not even remotely the decades I was searching for.

Found something similar to this, only in
a mint tweed. Sah cyute!

Afterwards we headed to this cute little cafe that specializes in healthy, all natural, organic, locally sourced food. I love eating there, it makes me happy. They have a great salad bar, yummy homemade soups, and a delicious assortment of sandwiches and smoothies and juice blends. It was gooooood!

Then we headed home so I could get a bit of school work done before heading out again to go to my tattoo appointment.

I got three butterflies on my upper back- one customized for each of my kids. They're really pretty, and later on I'm going to get the background filled in around them, but for now I'm okay leaving them as is, because quite frankly, it hurt like a bitch! This one hurt way worse than my forearm, which surprised me a bit. But I was a big girl and got through it. I couldn't wimp out when Age was with me! I also got my forearm touched up, since there were a few spots that were a little uneven.

My sister went after me, and got her first tattoo- an interpretation of this little green monster drawing my son made when he was probably 6 or so. It's super cute and turned out really well. She's going to add on two other monsters for the other two kids once she has the inspiration for them.

Today, I need to refocus and get more school work done, and I also have to go get supplies for my daughter's birthday party this weekend.

There's no rest for the wicked. Even if their backs hurt from getting fresh ink!

Edjumucated

As I mentioned yesterday, I start spring quarter tomorrow.

AND!!!

This quarter marks four quarters left until I graduate!

Sweet baby Jesus, I never thought I'd ever see the end in sight. But it's coming, and I'm glad. I would be done sooner if I took summer classes, but let's face it, my summer breaks are the only thing keeping me sane at this point. Plus, we have a big road trip to Wyoming planned for July, and I'm sure as heck not going to try and juggle school and needing constant internet access while also criss-crossing multiple states and doing all the touristy goodness.

So yeah, one year left. I can dig it.

Since I am a stay-at-home-mom and have some serious schedule restrictions, taking online classes was pretty much the only way I'd be able to get my degree done any time soon. I decided to attend City University of Seattle, since you can do online or in person classes (strictly online schools don't seem as legit to me, I want to be able to meet the people behind the scenes), and because it is a proven, fully accredited, high-quality, non-profit, non-scam-y school (unlike so many others!)

I've known many people who have graduated from CityU and were able to get really good jobs afterwards, not find themselves unemployable with a bullshit degree like *some* people we know. Yes, that was catty, but after so many months of mocking my school, it turns out the joke was on them. So neener-neener.

(Yes, I'm a mature adult, I swear!)

ANYHOODLE, besides my degree capstone, which I can't take until my very last quarter, all I have left are electives, and since I've been taking such dry, predictable business classes lately, I decided to branch out and take more interesting classes for my electives.

This may prove to be a mistake, but we'll see...

This quarter I am taking a humanities class, Intro to World Religions, and a psychology class, Race and Ethnic Issues in America. I was super stoked about these classes until yesterday when, while gathering my course information, such as my syllabi, course schedules, grading rubrics, and the first week's assignments, I stumbled across a little tidbit of info that instilled the fear of God in me.

Or, at least the fear of the APA Citation Nazi.

See, spring quarter of last year I took an anthropology class, and while I highly enjoyed the entire class and was getting straight A's and all was hunky-dory, after submitting my final paper of the class, my instructor tried accusing me of plagiarism.

The only problem though? I hadn't plagiarized!!!

And she even admitted as much.

She just didn't like the way I had structured one of my paragraphs and felt I should have done it differently, and was basically holding my entire academic future hostage in order to force her opinion down my throat. It was absolute bullshit. She made me rewrite the entire paper in one day, and while I complained to my advisor and found out this is the way this teacher tends to operate (and still came away with an A in the class), it completely ruined my entire anthropology experience.

And now?!? That same instructor is the course manager for my Religions class.

Educational facepalm

So I now find myself dreading my Religions class. Basically, I'm just going to be super-duper on top of all of my citations and be the brown-nosing overachiever that everyone hates but that is necessary to not have to deal with Her Majesty Queen of the Power Trip.

Oy.

On top of that, I can always tell when school is starting back up because of the knot of stress that squarely lodges itself in my guts and stays there for the following ten weeks. Ugh. The knot is definitely bigger this time around.

Housewifery, Canadians, and tattoos

So my To Do list for this weekend keeps growing. And growing.

The weather is crappy, so no yard or garden work will be getting done, but that's okay, because my inside chores are enough to keep me plenty busy.

First, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Adrienne, is coming to visit on Tuesday, so I need to get my house absolutely spotless. Not that I need to impress her. I mean, we've been friends since we were almost five, so I'm pretty sure she won't judge me if my house isn't in museum shape. But still, my OCD requires that my house be as perfect as possible for guests. (Then again, I try to keep my house spiffy anyway for my own sanity, so I guess nothing's really new!) (A tidy house equals a tidy brain)

This is the first time Age will be visiting our new house. Well, I guess it's not that new, we've been here for over a year and a half, but she was living all the way across the continent until just recently, so her last visit was almost three years ago. I'm excited to get to spend some time with her. I feel like she makes me sane. While we have plenty of friends around here, she's the only one that I feel totally myself with. She's known me almost my whole life, and it's rare to have people in your life for that long. She's a peach!

Age is going to be here for the better part of the week, and while it sucks that the kids and I have school and The Husband has work, we'll still rock it! On Wednesday my sister and I have appointments to get tattoos, and Age is pretty much an expert in that field (*cough* cough* getthegypsytattooyouknowyouwantto *cough *cough*) so she's coming along for moral support. And I'm trying not-so-subtly (see above) to convince her to get one she's been thinking about for quite a while. She has her whole back and both sides done, but hey, there's always room for more!

This will be my second tattoo, and my sister's first, so we're both very excited about it. I'm a little nervous since I'm getting mine down my spine, and the pain factor is... unknown and intimidating. But I'm a big girl and didn't even flinch during my first one, so hopefully I won't be the sissy whimpering in the corner...

Besides that, Age will also be here for my daughter's birthday party next weekend, which is super awesome! She can help me plan and cook and decorate! Yay for free help friends!

I don't know what else we will end up doing this week, I think we'll just wing it. One of the nights we want to take her to our favorite restaurant, assuming we can get a sitter. Beyond that? Who knows!

Coinciding with Age's visit, spring quarter starts on Monday. However, the portal opened yesterday, so I'm going to try and get as much of the first week's homework done as quickly as possible. That way, I won't have much to do that will be interfering with actual, you know, fun stuff. Of course, this means that I need to get a move on, like, now.

Lunatic salad with a side of crazy sauce

Holy geez.

Just when you think things can't any busier or weirder, life has a way of showing you up.

Sigh...

So first of all, cat ownership is proving to be challenging for my patience today. I think he's pissed we were gone all day yesterday, so he's gone completely mental today to make a point. And if I have to clean up any more spilled tea or pick up any more knocked over lamps, I may just lock him in kitty jail for the rest of the afternoon (and by kitty jail, I mean the little bathroom where his litter box is stashed). Because grrr.

So yesterday we were out of town all day because we had to head across the state to address some health concerns that my mother-in-law has been ignoring for far too long, and basically 'intervention-ed' her about it because her children are genuinely worried. My mother-in-law and I don't really have the warm-and-fuzziest relationship, so I was mostly just there for moral support for The Husband. I don't think anything I would have added to the conversation would have been absorbed anyway, so I just kept quiet. I am thinking about commissioning my health-expert friend to come up with a heart-healthy diet for her, though. Because despite our frosty relationship, it's not like I'm hoping she kicks the bucket any time soon (contrary to popular opinion, my cold black heart isn't quite that cold and black) (sshhhh, don't tell anyone).

Besides all of that, this week has also been crazy for a whole other reason. So awhile back I mentioned our crazy prepper neighbors with their guns and guard dogs and chain link fence. Well, it turns out maybe they aren't the scary ones after all (at least, in the grand scheme of things).

(Although, side note, they ended up forgoing the chain link fence in favor of a tension cable fence. Like, what they used for the dinosaur paddocks in Jurassic Park. Yeah. Not as ugly as chain link, but still...)

Anyway, we have this other neighbor, let's call him Crazy E for the purposes of this post. Crazy E has been well known by our entire neighborhood for being... well, a little whacked. When you first meet him he seems all friendly and jovial and whatnot, but after one conversation with him you realize that he's the "I caught a fish fourteen feet long... but I threw it back" kind of guy. He tells tall tales.

Okay, fine, that's harmless enough. Liar, liar, pants on fire, but at least it makes for entertaining stories.

Only... after chatting with him more than once or twice, you quickly begin to glean that something isn't right with him. First of all, he gives off a very distinct.... rape-y vibe. He has certain creeper qualities that have made all the women in this neighborhood avoid him like the plague.

Second, he has serious boundary issues. He'll just wander into your yard and make himself at home. Regardless of if you're just out working in the yard, or you have guests over and are having a barbecue or whatever, he'll just sort of invite himself. And not leave.

Third, he drinks. Excessively. Like, to the point of completely blacking out in his front yard in the middle of the day. Yeah. And considering he's A STAY AT HOME DAD, clearly that's totally uncool. Why CPS hasn't been called, I don't know.

But the fourth and final quality you eventually learn about Crazy E? Dude has some serious anger issues. I guess his across-the-street neighbors can hear him and his wife fighting constantly, which breaks my heart for their little boy.

Well, earlier this week all of these lovely qualities came together to form the perfect storm of crazy. Crazy E had been drinking heavily (no shock there), and was wandering aimlessly through the neighborhood (again, nothing new) when he discovered his across-the-street-neighbor's kids were playing up the road with prepper-family's kids. Apparently this set him off, so he marched home, grabbed his pistol, came back, and started screaming and yelling and raving like a lunatic about "so what, my kid's not good enough to play with your kids?" and "come out here and let's resolve this" and scary crap like that.

Dude was waving a handgun at CHILDREN.

Clearly, prepper mom called the cops, and four sheriff's cars arrived very shortly thereafter. It took them quite awhile to calm Crazy E down, and he was arrested on a weapons related charge.

Needless to say, I've had our alarm system armed 24/7 since.

But the scariest part for me? The fact that just hours after he was released yesterday, he was at my children's school volunteering in his son's class. Like nothing had happened. Someone who is clearly unbalanced, has access to firearms, and has anger and alcohol problems, and is still working in the classroom?!? I feel like I've seen this news story before...

So I called the school.

Up until this point I hadn't gotten involved, because the situation did not directly include me, and I tend to mind my own business until my involvement is necessary. Well, I'm sure as hell not going to have another Sandy Hook situation occur at my children's school, so you better believe I got involved at this point.

I spoke with the principal, who had just been made aware of the situation, and Crazy E is no longer permitted to have any contact with any of the kids on campus apart from dropping off and picking up his son. But apparently there isn't really much they can legally do to bar him from campus.

And that I have a problem with.

There has to be more that can be done to protect our children, especially in this day and age where gun crimes are committed on the daily. It's times like this where I contemplate getting involved in politics...

Anyway, Crazy E currently has a restraining order against him, and prepper-mom is planning to prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law, and while I am not a litigious person, I fully support her decision to do so. No one gets to threaten children and get away with it. If it were my kids, I be out for blood too.

And the stupid thing is we moved out here to the foothills to avoid crazy shit like this. I just want to tend the garden, have our bonfires, and sit on the deck watching the sunset paint the mountain pink and orange.

Not feel like I'm living my very own rap song!

Artsy-Fartsy

So as of two days ago I am officially done with winter quarter!

WHOOHOO!!!

Now I get three weeks off before jumping into another round of crazy.

And so far I'm loving it!

Yesterday I did... well, pretty much nothing. I mean, I did my standard cleaning and housewifery requirements, but beyond that? I pretty much sat on my rear end and cross-stitched. I didn't sleep worth crap the night before, and was therefore pretty much a zombie.

A crafting zombie, mind you.

I grew up in an artsy-craftsy family. Quilting and crocheting and sewing and cross-stitching and embroidery and scrapbooking and ornaments and jewelry and stained glass and painting and all that brouhaha.

And I inherited? Very little of that natural talent.

I can sew.

Ish.

I mean, not in a straight line by any means. And I've pretty much only made napkins at this point. But my goal is to be able to make curtains for my living and dining rooms one day, to make tablecloths and napkins for the various holidays, to be able to make at least a basic block quilt, and to one day, if I'm brave enough, maybe sew a summer dress or something.

For now I stick with slightly crooked napkins.

I also want to learn to crochet. But I don't yet have the patience, so that's on the back burner for the foreseeable future.

BUT!!!

I can cross-stitch.

I mean, anyone can cross-stitch, so it's not like I'm gifted or anything remotely resembling talented.

(And I still can't do French knots to save my life, which irritates me greatly)

But I enjoy cross-stitching. There is something soothing for me in the rhythm and pattern of all those bloody x's. For some people it makes them crazy, but for me it's almost zen-like.

This is one I did a few years ago, when I first got back into cross-stitching as an adult. I love the saying, and use it regularly, so finding it in a cross-stitch pattern was serendipitous I guess!

First time out of the gate

After completing that (quite easy) one, I moved on to a slightly significantly more challenging pattern. Because, you know, why start slow when you can jump from zero to 60, right?!?

My most recently completed one

This one took me a long time to finish, because I ended up putting it down for a couple of years out of frustration (that whole zero to 60 thing). But I picked it up again last spring and just slogged through it, and now it's hanging in my hallway in a pretty black frame.

Now I'm working on this one.

Current project...

Needless to say it's going to take me awhile. My goal was to have the main stitching done by the time spring quarter starts, but I think that may be an unrealistic goal, as right now I only have the pink butterfly, the big white flower, and the little flower above it (and the leaves) done.

Because clearly doing things that are less complex isn't really my style!

After I complete this one, I have a really cool pattern that The Husband's coworker gave me. She actually designed it years ago when she lived in the UK, and usually sells them, but since I'm so awesome she gave it to me for free.

It's a map of Ireland, England, and Scotland, and it's really pretty. The entire pattern is in blues and greens and white, but she includes red thread so you can stitch in your own path when you visit over there, which I thought was a really cool touch.

When I finally go, I will be sure to map out my journey on my cross-stitch pattern!

Quarters, Comic Con, and Queens

Hey hey!

I'm back! I know, I've been gone a few days. Things have been crazy busy around here.

The end of winter quarter is approaching, which means one thing- assignment loading.

Yes, that lovely time of the quarter when teachers start packing in as many papers, projects, and reading assignments as possible. And the one thing I've noticed that seems to be across the board, regardless of the course, the individual instructor, or the time of year?

All teachers seem to forget that their students are taking other classes.

'What?!? My class isn't the center of the scholastic universe?!?'

And by forgetting that, all teachers end up stacking their course schedules at exactly the same time.

Hence my absence for the last few days. I've been trying to salvage my sanity and maintain my exemplary GPA.

(3.95 in case you were wondering)

Besides that, the weekend was also busy for other reasons.

First, my oldest son went to Emerald City Comic Con for the first time. He went with my sister and, suffice it to say, his little geek mind was blown! He didn't know what to expect, and I think initially he was nervous, but he had a blast and is now hooked. I would expect him to be a regular attendee from now on.

The following day, my daughter and I went with my mom to the Northwest Women's Show. I've been going with my mom for over 10 years now, and it's always something we look forward to. There are countless booths with jewelry, clothes, skin care, health and nutrition, food samples, home and garden stuff, business information, you name it.

The whole point is to eat, shop, eat some more, and then shop some more.

What more could a girl want?!?

This year I came away with a couple of scarves (my accessory of choice), a few pairs of earrings, a couple of necklaces, and a cute halter sun dress. Definitely one of my lighter years, but this year not as much "called out" to me. Last year... well... let's just say I went a little nuts. They had some goooood stuff last year!

One fun thing that did come of the weekend though was solidifying plans for my mom's 50th birthday, which is coming up this spring. I've been wanting to plan something fun and special for her, but she's not one of those foofey, fancy-dinner-and-gifts-and-invite-everyone-she-knows kind of women. I mean, she'll take the gifts! But she's not so much about the big ritzy party.

So I needed to find something more to her taste.

And I did!

Julia's on Broadway/Le Faux!!!!!

It's this restaurant in downtown Seattle, and I've heard the food is amazing.

But then!?!

Every Friday and Saturday night they put on the most amazing celebrity impersonation/drag show.

Every year they have a booth at the women's show, and my mom has been talking about going for years, but never committed to it. These guys are amazing. Their makeup, the body language, even the voices- they're dead ringers for the celebrities they are impersonating. It's mind boggling.

And I have mad respect for any man who looks better as a woman than, you know, actual women.

So I'm taking mom for her birthday!!!!

I'm so ridiculously excited.

One, because it'll be fun to go do that with my mom.

Two, because it gives me an excuse to go to the show!

And three, because let's face it, I love me some drag queens!

*grumble*grumble*

Okay, so I have a little rant that I need to get off my chest.

So as you know I am in school working on a business degree. Since I have kids and am limited by their schedules at the moment, I am taking my classes online. 

In a lot of ways, it's great. It gives me the flexibility to "go to school" whenever it's convenient for me, be that 8 in the morning or 11:30 at night. It saves me from having to make a hellacious commute. And it especially saves me from having to deal with vacuous 20-year old dingbats named Jessica and their insistence on chewing their gum with their mouths open.

Amirite?!?

Of course I'm right.

We've all been stuck sitting next to "that girl" at some point in time, and you know it takes every ounce of self-restraint not to knock the gum out of her mouth and give her the withering look of death.

'You want to go home and rethink your life....'

ANYHOODLE!!! In spite of all the positive aspects of taking online classes, there is one major drawback that drives me completely bonkers.

All of your interactions with your classmates take place via the school's website, usually through a set of predetermined discussion questions. This means you are forced to read through the dozens of typed responses and reply to a set number of them to 'further the discussion'.

And herein lies the problem. 

People SUCK AT GRAMMAR!!!!!

It drives me freaking bonkers!

I just want to reach through the computer screen and slap 'em around a bit. Where the hell did you go to school?!?

(If their response is Darrington, Sedro-Woolley, or Concrete... well, then, I apologize, you can't help it)

(Kidding, kidding, much love for the Skagit Valley!)

But for everyone else?!? There's no excuse!!!

Their, there, and they're are all separate words with separate meanings!

Two, to, and too. Different.

Weather and whether. Different.

Your and you're. DIFFERENT!!!

 I seriously feel my blood begin to boil every stinking time someone else answers a question and their response is riddled with glaring grammatical errors. Like.... how are you doing well in COLLEGE?!?! These are senior-level classes, for Pete's sake!

Grumblegrumblegrumble

Can you facepalm someone else, or does that constitute abuse?

Just wondering...

Anybody want a peanut?

I have a position paper and a PowerPoint presentation to prepare.

Instead, I choose to watch The Princess Bride.

Because it is my favorite movie, possibly of all time.

And because of that whole procrastination thing I've mentioned a time or two...

This time around, the paper and PPT shouldn't be too difficult. I know what topic I want to do it on, and seeing as how many of my business classes are related, I've basically covered this topic in one form or another previously, so I've got a bit of a head start.

Hellew!

That is... if I get around to, you know, actually starting the dang thing.

(Side note: despite the creepy, caterpillar mustache, I've always had a thing for Cary Elwes in this  movie...)

I've been keeping up (ish) with the Couch-to-5k training. Not as much as I should, but better than I gave myself credit for, so that's something. Once the torrential rain and hail and crazy wind gusts move along, I'm looking forward to being able to get outside more. I have a bit of cabin fever, and I'm looking forward to spring like you wouldn't believe. I have a garden to tend to, a yard that needs a mind boggling amount of work, and several hiking trails that are beckoning me.

But for now, my story of "twue wuv" is over, so I guess I should be responsible and get back to that whole responsible student thing.

No, no, as you wish!

Procrastination set in...

I'm supposed to be studying for an HR midterm. But my brain got fuzzy and I'm getting a headache, so I'm taking a breather.

HR is... well, it's alright I guess. Not as dry as I'd expected, though I have a few insufferable brown-nosers in my class that make it slightly painful to deal with. It's a requirement for my degree, so I've just got to muddle through a few more weeks. Then it's on to a few quarters of electives and I'll finally have my Bachelor's! It's taken a bit longer than planned but, hey, at least it's happening.

SO I started the Couch-to-5k training this week!

I know! And my ass muscles are sore to prove it...

Hopefully I actually stick with it, because I think it'll pay off if I do. Bring it on, shorts weather!!!

It's a beautiful, sunny day in the Seattle area today, and I'm a little bitter that I'm stuck inside studying. But my goal is to have my midterm done by tonight and have all weekend to play. Hopefully the weather gets the memo and sticks around a few more days. I'm a little twitchy and could use a good hike. I feel Mt. Pilchuck beckoning me back, but it's way too snowy up there still and I don't want to be another search-and-rescue statistic for that mountain. I think I'll hold off on that one until further into spring. And Age, you're coming with me!

I also have plans to hike the peninsula this summer. I figure since my state has a rainforest, I should at least go and walk through it, eh? I have a lot of hiking plans for this summer. We'll see how many of them come to fruition.

As you can probably tell, I'm getting antsy for spring and summer to come. I want to get outside, work in the yard, play, hike, all that good stuff. Contrary to many people's assumptions of me, I'm not as big of a prissy chick as I appear to be. I love being outdoors.

And yes, you can actually enjoy outside even when you hate insects.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

Amen to that

Glad we cleared that up. Back to studying...

Welcome to the (rural) jungle

I live in a small town.

Not the creepy, seedy, get-jumped-by-a-gang-of-methed-out-12-year-olds kind of small town.

A cute, quaint, homey, historic small town. And I love it. I really do.

Except for one thing... The Mommy Mafia.

Now, the Mommy Mafia does not resemble an actual crime syndicate in any obvious way. They don't talk in muffled, Italian accents. They don't (at least, to my knowledge) bring guns and cannolies with them. There have been no horse heads or toll booth shootouts.

BUT!!!

They will inevitably make you an offer you can't refuse.

Or shouldn't, at least.

Because refusing lands you firmly in the persona non grata category of the elementary school social ladder, which is a precarious place to be.

That is, unless you are like me, and you simply don't care.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not antisocial. I'm not a misanthrope... (well, maybe a little)

I just don't buy into all the drama social crap that goes on in the parenting world. It's nonsense. These women act like they're the ones still in high school, and it would be frustrating if it weren't exceedingly amusing to sit back and watch. There is something both fascinating and sad about a 40-something woman wearing hot pink nail polish and chunky highlights. It's just...wrong.

Even more wrong is that these same women tend to be the ones whose 12-year old daughters walk around in booty shorts and spaghetti-strap tank tops, acting like they're a 22-year old co-ed at Mardi Gras. But that's a whole other matter entirely. Shitty parenting and the sexualization of today's kids is a whole series of blog posts unto themselves.

But I digress...

The Mommy Mafia.

Don't let the picturesque small town fool you. These women mean business. They're just as vicious as the metropolitan socialite mothers, only rather than Bentleys, St. Barth's, and plastic surgery, it's pampered horses, gigantic $80k pickup trucks... and plastic surgery.

And that offer you can't refuse (or risk social peril)?

Taking an official position within the PTA.

Laugh, but I kid you not. Welcome to the seedy underbelly of elementary school.

You've been warned.

Super Bowled Over

Super Bowl party went well. Turns out, I didn't break it after all!

*whew*

I didn't end up serving the chili, because let's face it, deep-fried man food wins leaps and bounds over anything remotely healthy on The Biggest Football Game Day Ever. But I did serve the crostini, and it was actually quite popular, so one point for chick food!

Plus, the Ravens won, so the homophobic 49ers can SUCK IT!!! (sorry Kelly)

And now we move on to life after football (thank god). Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with football. I'm okay with most sports, in general.

(Except basketball, because I don't understand it)

(And I refuse to watch tennis because it's boring)

(And golf... well, golf isn't really a sport)

I just... well, suffice it to say there is a sense of relief that there will be a space of time that I won't spend my weekend listening to misogynistic, jock-brained announcers who always seem to speak in some version of a yell.

At least, until baseball starts.

(GO MARINERS!!!)

So what does post-football life entail for yours truly? Well, in summary, all the same things as it did before.

Minus the TV yelling at me, of course.

Today both older kids are home from school with fevers, and if we manage to get through the day without them killing each other, I'll consider that a success. Little one is sick too, which makes me sad. He sounds like he smokes three packs a day, which is somewhat amusing but mostly disturbing on a two-and-a-half year old. Besides that I have mountains of laundry, a new week's worth of school work, and a sink full of the remnants of Super Bowl dishes.

Yay for Mondays.