Everyone calm the f*ck down, mmmkay?

In my last post, I discussed the random challenge we were faced with in receiving two competing job offers in one day. Well, given my overly-caffeinated inability to focus coupled with my mental and emotional exhaustion, I apparently didn't explain the situation particularly well.

Because of this, and the blowback I have received regarding our "decision", let me clarify a few things:

No, we don't hate living here. We just love Seattle and the plan was always to move back in a few years anyway. It's not a waving-the-white-flag situation, so keep your "I told you so" to yourself.

No, it would not have been "selling [our] soul" had we taken the Seattle offer. We knew it wasn't perfect, and that it would have been career-limiting, but it would have gotten us back up there (which was our only reason for considering it). Also, no, I don't make my decisions based on [this individual's] opinions. But thanks anyway.

Financially speaking, it would have been challenging and borderline irresponsible to move back. Moving 1200 miles is friggin' expensive! U-Haul, gas, food, hotels, and oh yeah, buying or renting a house; it adds up. Also, while we would have been able to sell our house quickly, we would not have even made back our down payment since we haven't lived here very long. All of that was a major 'con'.

While our heart may be in Seattle, sometimes you have to be a grown up and consider the responsible choice. Staying here and taking the local offer is the better career move, as well as the financially responsible move. Facts don't lie.

What I know everyone is thinking when
they say "I understand"...

Yes, I would rather live in Seattle than Wyoming. Duh.

Yes, I can be a Seattle girl even if I live 1200 miles away. I will always love Seattle. It's an amazing city filled with incredible art, culture, music, food, and people. And coffee. (God, I miss good coffee.) The climate and geography are amazing. The perpetual green is beautiful. The ferris wheel is... well, terrifying for me, on account of hating heights. But still. Living sandwiched between the ocean and the Cascades is where my soul is fed. Seattle is an incredibly special place.

Yes, I was looking forward to coming back. I had already made plans to spend my birthday up in Victoria with my childhood bestest friend, having high tea at the Empress (delicious!), roaming the cute little shops and bakeries, and hitting up a few of the 8,000 Irish pubs down by the harbor. I was going to kidnap other bestest friend, Ginger Jesus, and their kids for Thanksgiving. I was planning the annual Halloween party with my mom. I was invested in this.

And yes, I was heartbroken when it didn't work out.

But I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and apparently staying put is what we're meant to do for now. Hub's new company will provide him the valuable experience, marketable title, and global platform to grow his career in ways the Seattle job could never have. So while I miss my family and friends terribly, I understand that things worked out for the better. 

I'm sorry I let everyone down by dangling the carrot and then having to take it away. 

But we will be back. That much is guaranteed. 

And until then? We enjoy the journey and the experience. Next stop, Mt. Rushmore and Carhenge!

Like sands through the hourglass...

Yep, these are the days of our lives... The crazy, out of left field days of our lives.

So here's what's been going on. As you know, a little over a year ago, The Husband was offered an outstanding job opportunity here in Wyoming, resulting in our big move from the greater Seattle area to Cheyenne. However, after getting down here and getting settled, it quickly became clear that the job was not what we had been promised. In fact, The Husband had been bold-faced lied to about the job: its future, its duties, even its title.

Over the course of the past year, Hubs was put in charge of a project that was doomed from the start (when the management company includes a clause in their contract stating they do not have to finish the project if they don't want to, that should be a red flag, but Husband's company's CFO signed it anyway). Since then, they cycled through four different project managers (none of whom had previous PM experience), pushed back the project three separate times (it's now slated to go live a full year after its original date), and had the management company remove 80% of the original project items from scope. Husband was the only one at his company technically skilled enough to handle the demands of the project, and therefore more and more duties and responsibilities were dumped on his plate.

On top of that, continually more duties and responsibilities of his core job were piled on as well. It became the go-to to expect Hubs to 'handle it', even when the time constraints made it truly impossible to do so. As the expectations exponentially grew, so to did the lack of respect or appreciation (or even basic civility). Hubs became the fall guy for everyone else's issues (particularly when the Payroll Department didn't feel like doing their jobs). Hubs' manager did absolutely nothing to ease the situation, not even bothering to show up to meetings or update himself on the status of the project. All of the warnings Hubs gave regarding the quality, integrity, and success of the project were ignored, even when all of them came true. And still no willingness from Hubs' manager to give Hubs the job title, pay grade, or even public recognition and respect befitting his massive responsibilities.

Finally, the tinderbox erupted. It became clear that Hubs not only had no future growth within the company, but there was a chance he would be left holding the bag when the project inevitably failed and created a PR, logistical, and corporate nightmare. Hubs and I both reached out to our networks and pursued job opportunities for him, both here and back in Seattle. Some leads went nowhere. Others seemed promising but resulted in bupkis. After our hellish summer of family health crises and vehicular drama, we became all the more aware of our need for a reprieve. Mentally and emotionally, we both were exhausted, and put it out to the universe that hey, we need a break!

Well, be careful what you wish for, my lovelies, because apparently when it rains, it pours!

Last week, Husband received a call from a contact back in Seattle, offering him a job position. It wasn't an ideal position, but it would have afforded us the opportunity to get back to our home turf. Some negotiations still needed to take place, so we knew we had a few days before anything was final. However, we were given verbal confirmation on several occasions that yes, this was going to happen, without a doubt.

Well, yesterday we were supposed to have received the official job offer. By then, we had discussed the situation with our families and a few closest friends, and everyone was incredibly excited about the prospect of having us move back to Seattle. As we awaited the job offer, Hubs received another interesting phone call. A local job prospect that he had interviewed twice with and then didn't hear back from finally called. The president of the company wanted to interview him that afternoon! He went in, and 30 minutes later they offered him the job.

So, now we were facing two competing job offers: one that wasn't great but would have brought us back to Seattle, and one that would have kept us here in Cheyenne for the foreseeable future, but was an awesome career opportunity. It was a genuinely mind-boggling situation that we had never predicted having to face, and we were at a loss.

Cue the DEFCON 1 levels of stress.

Being the slightly OCD, anal-retentive, Type A person I am in a challenging situation, I proceeded to make in-depth pro-con lists. We then took the kids out to dinner, both to celebrate Hubs' new opportunities and imminent escape from his hellish job, as well as to inform the kids of the difficult decision we were facing and get their input.

(Oldest son wanted to go back to Seattle, daughter was good either way, and little guy was sad at leaving his best friend Percy Jackson...)

By the end of the evening, we had pretty much come to our decision, but were still awaiting the official job offer from Seattle. By this morning it still hadn't come, and we found out that the CFO and HR manager of that company had decided it would be more fiscally advantageous to stick with local candidates whom they could hire for much cheaper (because they notoriously pay below market whenever possible).

So that was that. The decision was made for us (though, in truth, it was the decision we were leaning toward anyway).

Hubs starts his new job the day after Labor Day, and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time!

Anniversary

One year ago today, we arrived here in Wyoming.

We had left Washington on the evening of July 6, 2013, and pulled into Cheyenne in the wee hours of July 9th.

Those first few days- hell, the first few hours, even- were a major struggle for me, as from the start, things did not go as planned and expected. I had just left a house that I loved, a town that I loved, and my family and closest friends, and was instantly regretting all of it. It honestly took me several weeks before I began reestablishing my grasp on why we had moved, and that it was in fact a good thing.

Those four months we lived in the apartment, waiting for our house to be finished, were tough. I physically hated living there, and the commute for my husband and children was brutal. After the house was done and we finally, officially moved up to Cheyenne, things began looking up.

The fluffy clouds of the High Plains

I loved our house, and the feeling of finally getting to be settled. I loved that the kids' school and Husband's work were now only minutes away instead of an hour. I loved that our lives were finally able to simplify, and we could begin establishing ourselves here.

Storm rolling in over the kids' school

There have been some hiccups, and some obstacles, and some what-the-hell-are-you-kidding-me moments. But overall, I can honestly say that I like living here (minus the wind, which is soul sucking).

But here's the thing.

Something that, despite my many attempts, I have been unable to successfully explain to many others in our lives.

On the one hand, I like it here. On the other hand, I would move back to Seattle tomorrow.

And yes, those two feelings can coexist.

While it was an emotional struggle for me at first, I fully understand why we moved here, and the benefits of doing so. I have adapted (mostly) to high plains living, and while there are some aspects of it I may not particularly care for, overall it's nice here.

Normal sunset views from my house!

I like exploring the area and seeing new things. The sunsets and sky-scapes are absolutely stunning. The slower pace of life and small-town feel is perfectly pleasant to me (except trying to get anywhere on Lincolnway anytime before 10 am, when the Blue Hair Brigade is out in force and going 20 mph below the speed limit!)

But here's the thing that people are having a hard time wrapping their heads around: I like it here, but I miss Seattle like crazy. It's not like living in Cheyenne is terrible, and I'm miserable and want out rightthissecond. I do, genuinely, like it here. But I don't love it here.

And that's the key.

Hello, gorgeous!

My heart and soul is in Seattle. In the trees and the mountains and the rivers and the ocean.

Mt. Pilchuck, my former backyard

Is anything better than a bonfire on the beach?!?

So beautiful, and so very missed

I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if we will stay in Cheyenne for five more months or five more years. But I do know that our time here is not permanent. Western Washington is a very special place, rich in a natural beauty that can't be matched. My soul is fed up there, and because of that, we will move back eventually.

It is possible to like where you are, but know you belong somewhere else. To be happy, but not fulfilled. That's where I'm at. And our calamity of a trip last week reaffirmed that to me. Driving across Snoqualmie Pass made my heart sing. And leaving made it sink.

I don't hate living in Wyoming, and I certainly don't regret moving here.

But home is where the heart is. And my heart is in Seattle

It's happening

Spring Break in Wyo: shooting ranges, Governors, and the threat of snow

What up blogosphere?!? I know my posts have been a little light as of late, but things have been insanely busy.

See? This guy gets it.

The last couple of weeks have been an utter whirlwind! Mostly in a good way, mind you. But still very whirly and windy.

First, I finished Winter Quarter. I don't feel like I finished as strong as I should have… but that's probably because I totally didn't finish as strong as I should have. My brain was done. I had all but completely checked out. I did what needed to be done, but in all honesty, not much more than that! I walked away with a 4.0 in psychology (I'm still trying to figure out how that happened), a 4.0 in sociology, and a measly 3.7 in Econ (and that's mostly because I totally crapped out on the last assignment, and I own that) (seriously, why make us do graphs for the first time in the final assignment?!?).

Next quarter I'm taking Intro to Communications (my final elective; I hope that's kinda like underwater basket weaving, minus the risk of drowning) and Management Strategy (the fancy name for my capstone, otherwise known has proving the culmination of your educational worth so they give you the degree). I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous about that one. But only because there's like 18 different 10-page case study assignments to complete in a 10 week period… and I'm only mildly exaggerating. But I survived an over-full-time course load, I can handle a capstone right?…. Right?… RIGHT?!?!?

Sigh.

Anyway, while I was trying somewhat earnestly to finish my classes, I also complicated things for myself by flying back to Seattle to surprise my mom. My sister and I had been plotting for a few months to have me fly up for the Northwest Women's Show, which is something my mom and I (and occasionally my sister, when it didn't coincide with Comic Con) have attended every year for, oh, 13 years or so?

Suffice it to say, my mom was totally shocked and pleased with our diabolical little scheme, and we had a blast at the women's show!

The next day I had been planning on surprising my grandparents with a quick visit before jetting back out of town, but I decided to be responsible and finish my final Econ assignment instead. Call it kismet or luck or what have you, but had I decided to go up to Darrington, I would have been on Highway 530 the morning of the mudslide… that realization made me a bit queasy.

(For the latest on the mudslide, click here and here)

(And to donate to the Snohomish County Red Cross, click here)

Aside from my cancelled visit to my beloved grandpeople, I also had made lunch plans with my Soul Sista Kym. Unfortunately, her youngest daughter (otherwise known as BabyBaby) came down ill, so we had to cancel our lunch date.

So I didn't end up seeing anyone else besides my immediate family before I had to fly back, but it was still a great trip. And The Husband and I have a family road trip up there planned for this summer, so we'll get to see everyone then.

The Husband's perspective

My perspective

When I flew back to Wyo, I was joined by my sister (!!!) who took a week off of work to come down, visit for a bit, and see where the hell we left Western Washington for.

And I don't think she was… impressed with Cheyenne!

She's a bit of a hipster, so the non-ironic cowboy vibe of Southeastern Wyoming wasn't really her thing. But it was fun to have her here for a bit; we all miss her terribly!

One fun and random thing that happened while Katie was here was that my youngest wanted to take her to the Capitol Building. He's mildly obsessed with it; he thinks it is the single coolest building he's ever seen, and as such, he asks to go to it nearly every day. Having his Auntie Tatie here gave him a valid excuse for us to go!

As soon as we entered the main doorway, he took her hand and brought her to the President Lincoln memorial statue in the East Wing of the building. As we passed the main staircase and entered the East hallway, we walked past a very large man in a dark suit, and I noticed he had one of those coiled ear-pieces you see in the movies. I put two and two together, and I whispered to my sister that the Governor was probably in the building, since I'd never seen secret service-type dudes there before.

(And for the record, those dudes are pretty intimidating!)

Anyway, we got down to the Lincoln statue, and Monkey is telling his Auntie about how it's really cool because it's a big head, and it's gold, so it must be a superhero (natural assumption), when we hear a voice behind us say hello…

And then this happened…

We met Governor Mead!!!

Now, granted, I disagree with probably a good 80% of the man's politics… but it was still pretty awesome to meet him. I am able to separate different opinions on policy with a respect for the office itself; plus I'm a politics geek in general, so it made my day.

My older kids were super jealous that they missed out on account of that whole being-in-school thing, so I managed to arrange with (or possibly annoy!) Gov. Mead's staff for the kids to have a meeting with him later this week. I am having each of them prepare a question to ask him; they're both excited and I think a little nervous. I am somewhat of a politics wonk, so my children have grown to understand that this is a pretty cool opportunity for them. I'm sure there are more pictures to come!

Besides that, we explored the area a bit with my sister. We went up to Laramie one of the days; there is nothing in Laramie! We accidentally discovered Highway 287 from Laramie to Fort Collins, which was an absolutely beautiful drive… made all the better by jamming to kitschy '90s tunes (I told you, she's a hipster). We then spent the rest of that day dinking around Fort Collins, which I realized I actually really like (when I'm not stuck in a crappy apartment waiting for my house to be built!). Less cowboy, more hippie. My kind of place! Depending on where Hubs' career takes him, maybe we'll end up back down in that area at some point.

Some of the views along 287.
Red rocks, rolling hills, and jagged mountains
all in one 40 minute drive.

Katie flew home right as the kids' Spring Break started. We tried to pack in as much vacation revelry as one week (and Hubs' pesky work obligations) would allow. We went and saw the Lego Movie, which was ridiculously cute. We went out to eat a few times. We had the obligatory Harry Potter movie marathon, because it's just what we do. We went down to the Rocky Mountain Archery range in Fort Collins, where the kids (and us) learned how to shoot with a bow and arrow; it was very fun, but a little stressful trying to keep the 3-year-old from running out onto the shooting range when people were, you know, shooting very, very sharp arrows.

And we bought a travel trailer!!!

Jayco White Hawk

That's right, no more tent camping for me, bitches!

I'm actually totally cool with tent camping, but in this neck of the woods, there are many places that don't allow tents, either because of wind hazards, or because of, you know, the risk of being mauled by a bear. And weirdly enough, I prefer not being mauled by a bear. Crazy, huh?

But I digress. The whole buying a trailer thing happened sort of randomly. We've been looking for a little over a month, just trying to gauge amenities, prices, etc, but we weren't planning on actually purchasing one until next year. We figured since we just bought a house, a bank wouldn't then turn around and give us a loan on a trailer too. But then Hubs was at our bank running errands, he and the teller were making small talk, and Hubs asked if they did auto or RV loans (it's a credit union, and not all credit unions do that). He explained how we were planning on getting one next year, the teller explained how they had really good interest rates right now, one thing led to another, and bada bing, bada boom, we own a trailer!

We don't actually pick it up until Thursday, because the dealership is de-winterizing it, installing the equalizer, and doing their inspections and whatnot (they threw a bunch of technical jargon at us, Hubs understood it, I… just nodded). Then first thing Thursday morning, we are bringing our Suburban in to get the trailer brakes installed, and then we're good to go!

And yes, we are so going camping this weekend!

(I just hope they change Sunday's forecast, since right now it is calling for snow…)

Sigh. Welcome to Wyoming...

Bobbing and weaving

Alright.

So things are getting better.

I mean, they're not at all what I had expected, hoped for, or necessarily wanted.

But I guess life is all about being flexible, right?

So the whole Alaska thing is in the process of being resolved. I already have a folder's worth- yes, a whole file folder!- of documentation in dealing with this nonsense.

We had our appraisal today, which I guess went well? I have no clue. The appraiser said we had a lovely home, so hopefully that translates to it being appraised at a value that does not screw us over on the sales price. It shouldn't, but considering how things have been going the past few days, I'm not believing anything until I see it in writing.

So assuming the appraisal turns out well, then we move toward closing. Our buyers are getting USDA financing, so it's going to take longer than I would like to close, but hey, whatever.

At this point?

I just want to move forward, have a closing date set, and hope for the best. I've given up fighting for things to go exactly my way.

Apparently the universe has decided that me making plans is HILARIOUS!!!

We've all but missed out on the original house we wanted to buy in Cheyenne. I mean, it's still available right now. But by the time we finally close on the sale of this house? Our realtor down there has said it isn't likely the house will still be available.

So Plan B.

We're going to submit an offer on another lot in the same neighborhood. This lot is just in the permit stage, so it'll be approximately four months before we'll get to move in, but it's our next best option.

This of course means we will be stuck renting for a few months once we get down there, but I've accepted that. As long as we have a plan to follow, I'm good. This whole being-in-limbo thing is killing me.

I also realized today that I'm going to be in Cheyenne next week. As in, the last week of Spring Quarter. As in, when all of my major assignments are due!

Fuck.

For some reason this hadn't dawned on me until this morning. So now I have to do a mad scramble to finish everything before next Thursday morning. This includes reading 250+ slides on Islam followed by two discussion questions, the last chapter in my Race and Ethnicity book followed by two discussion questions and a quiz, as well as two term papers- one for each class.

...

Oy vey.

Oh yeah, and my son's birthday party is this weekend, so I have to clean my house and move all of our packing stuff... somewhere...

Solid plan

"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way..."

So life has been... hectic lately. To say the least.

That whole 'preparing to move halfway across the country while simultaneously trying to maintain the rest of my life responsibilities' thing.

You know. No biggie, right?

Of course right.

So the first big part of this last week (or the only truly news-worthy part, anyway) is that... WE SOLD OUR HOUSE!!!!

Inoright?!?

It was listed for a whole four hours, which is nuts. All I can say is thank God for a seller's market!

And the fact that we've owned it for 20 months and managed to make a profit? Amazing. Granted, we're not walking away millionaires by any means, but still. That's a major obstacle that we can take off our To Do list, and that's a huge sigh of relief!

(Of course, now we have to find a new place to live... 1800 miles away... no prob, right?... right?!?)

Beyond that, trying to balance my end-of-the-quarter school craziness, the kids' end-of-the-school-year chaos, keeping my house from spiraling into a tsunami of clutter, and not having a mental breakdown in the process has been... tricky at best.

Who's idea was this again?

Mine!?

Oh that's right.

Crap.

The irony of accidentally ending up moving halfway across the country... Only I could manage something like that.

Overall, I am getting excited about the move. Stressed beyond belief. Losing weight. Losing sleep. Overwhelmed and slightly panicky. But excited nonetheless!

I think it will be fun to see a new part of the country, to explore places I wouldn't otherwise get to see as easily, and to make new memories and share this experience with my kids (although my daughter has convinced herself that a posse of rattlesnakes is awaiting her, and I can't convince her otherwise!) I am looking forward to the opportunities and adventures awaiting us in Cheyenne.

I'm also wishing I could Go-Go-Gadget Magic Packing Machine my house.

Home, home on the range...???

So things have been... interesting around here, so say the least. Remember awhile back when I mentioned that pesky gypsy wind was wreaking havoc with my status quo?

Well she came back.

In gale force.

And my life is about to be turned completely upside down.

Let me explain.

So back when I wrote that blog post, I had been searching and applying The Husband for jobs for several months. He has been unhappy with his current employer for awhile now, ever since they made some, shall we say, douche-y decisions. So I started looking around the greater Seattle area.

Local city governments, school districts, hospitals, major businesses, small businesses, utility companies, you name it I checked it out.

Now, The Husband has been in the IT industry for over 15 years now, and in probably any other part of the country that experience and expertise would be in demand. But not in Seattle.

IT people are a dime a dozen around here, and employers either want the entry-level tech who will work for $12 an hour, or someone who holds three Master's and two Doctorate's. There's nothing in between. Combine that with the fact that Boeing is getting ready to do a major layoff of thousands- yes, thousands- of IT people, and the odds become stacked even more against you.

So I branched out.

San Francisco. Portland. British Columbia.

More of the same. Too few jobs being competed for by too many overly qualified IT people.

I even devised a hair-brained scheme to move to the incredibly beautiful but incredibly tiny town of Joseph, Oregon. Why? Because it's pretty. Are there jobs there? NOPE! Their industry dried up years ago, so unless you are an established small-business owner, you're out of luck.

This is where the culmination of my frustration turned into the blog post about wanting the gypsy wind to take me away.

All I can say is, be careful what you wish for!

Shortly after that, my aunt suggested looking at the hospital in her city. She had heard they were hiring for IT, and sure enough, they were! So I applied The Husband, assumed it would be more of the same, and forgot all about it.

Until they called. And I began to panic.

Because the hospital where my aunt lives?

It's in Cheyenne. As in WYOMING.

Yeah...

Fast forward to today, and my life sits on this giant precipice above a gnarling torrent of chaos.

That sounds a bit dramatic, eh? But it's so true. The offer that the hospital presented to The Husband was... incredible, to say the least. Too good to turn down. Husband gave his current employer a chance to counter the offer, and they did. However, the counter offer was nothing more than a token gesture, and was actually a bit insulting when you consider that he has given them his blood, sweat, and tears over the years.

So we're moving halfway across the country.

I don't think it has fully sunk in yet. It seems surreal to me. And let's just say that no one is really taking it well. My family isn't speaking to me. Husband's family is split- some are excited for us, some are pissed. Our friends are all heartbroken, but they have all promised to come visit regularly. And naturally we will be back up here to visit as well.

But still. It's a huge move. And it's scary, and sad. But it's also a really good thing.

By the way, did you know that Wyoming has antelope?!?

Ooops

So you know that saying "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it"?

Yeeeeaaaahhhh....

Clearly I didn't take it seriously enough!

I can't really get into specifics, because nothing has actually come of it yet, so until something more firm is in place and decisions are made, there really isn't any point in getting people all riled up.

It's just weird how things work out. The timing, the unexpectedness, the fact that when you want something to happen, it won't, and when you truly believe something isn't going to happen, it does.

It's like Alanis said. Life has a funny way...

So I suddenly find myself with a lot of information to wade through, a lot of potential decisions to make, and a lot of unknowns. And in case you missed that memo: I don't like unknowns!

Predicability is good for me. Routine and normalcy are my friends. And I'm about to throw all that down the drain willingly!

Raining men at Le Faux

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

Okay.

So the drag show.

Suffice it to say the evening did not go as planned.

The show was entertaining, and the host, Isaac Scott, was fabulous.

I would probably go again, but I would change a few variables.

So let's break this down, shall we?

The original plan was to take my mom down there for her birthday. We would pay for her ticket and her meal, watch the show, all that good stuff. Well, it turns out that, for one, the gal that I spoke with when I made the reservations gave me some misinformation (like, you know, pricing, seating, all that somewhat important nonsense), and two, I had misguided expectations of the evening.

The misinformation snafu meant that I didn't bring enough cash with me, and the girl specifically said to bring cash. Strike one.

The misguided expectations were a big strike two and strike three.

Strike two: in my mind I was expecting a Cage Aux Folles kind of situation, where you sit at the same table for your dinner and to watch the show.

But no.

We were shuffled around like cattle by a fairly rude German man. And ended up sitting in these horribly uncomfortable wooden chairs where we had to wait for over an hour for the show itself to even start.

Strike three? Was the ridiculously drunk women next to us who, for one, are way too old to act like that and drink that much, and two, were horribly disruptive and disrespectful to the audience and the performers. They were a bunch of hot messes... minus the hotness.

There was also the awkwardness of my sister's friend who decided at the last minute to come with us, only she refuses to speak to me.

Like, literally.

She and my sister have been friends for... oh... over ten years now? And this chick has literally never said a word to me. Apparently she is afraid of me because she thinks I'm super pretty and therefore scary, and I guess her natural reaction is to just be Frosty the Snow Bitch to me.

Whatever. I tried to talk with her and engage her in the conversation, but to no avail. It was awkward, to say the least. Especially considering I planned the entire thing. But yeah. Ignore me. Not that I'm annoyed or anything...

Overall, the experience was... alright. The food was alright. The performers were pretty good. The host was awesome. My mom had fun, which was the important part.

So like I said, I think I would go again, only this time with my friends. You know, people who will actually acknowledge my existence!

Men in glam makeup and women's clothes impersonating celebrities? Yes please!

Don't have time for a full post right now, as I am in the middle of writing a paper for my Race and Ethnic Issues class. However, I just wanted to get on here really quick to say...

GOING TO LE FAUX TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!

I have much to share, including how genetics suck, how bonfires and gasoline are not a good combo, and how my friend wound up sleeping in my driveway, but it all must wait until tomorrow...

Footloose and cancer free

Hey hey!

I'm back and better than ever!

Suffice it to say that Thursday and Friday sucked big time, but I'll get to that.

First of all, the weather in Seattle is Ah-mazing! Holy crap I'm loving it!

The only problem is I have stupid school stuff to do, so even though I wanted to go hiking today, I don't think that's a responsible thing to do. Boo.

Oh well. Summer is almost here. Which means no school! You better believe I will be hiking the crap out of this summer!

Also, my garden is starting to sprout! It's been so freaking cold lately that nothing was happening, but now that the sun made its reappearance and the thermostat is a-rockin', things are beginning to grow! It's supposed to stay nice for the next several days (fingers crossed) so I'll be keeping an eye out for those cute little sprouts curling up and pushing the dirt out of their way.

Okay, so on to Thursday and Friday.

Thursday was "prep day", which is basically a generic medical term for "you will be miserable and hungry all day".

After taking the kids to school, I cleaned my house and slapped on the pretty as quickly as possible, then proceeded to take the four 'starter' pills at exactly 9 am.

For the next few hours I subsisted on tea (lots of tea!), water, and Jell-o. Now, I'm not a huge Jell-o fan to begin with, and when it's the only "food" you are allowed to eat, it makes it all the more depressing. I really came to hate that unnatural, jiggly substance by the end of the day.

The Husband came home from work early, as I was... shall we say... uneasy at the thought of leaving the house and being trapped in a car for 30 minutes to pick up the kids from school. Ahem.

While he headed out to get the kids, I prepped the gallon jug of electrolyte solution that I had to drink.

GAG!!!

The nurse had suggested mixing it with Crystal Light to make it taste better. I can't imagine what it would have tasted like without the Crystal Light, as my flavored concoction still tasted something akin to a homeless man's bathwater.

I will never, I repeat NEVER, drink Crystal Light again.

Blergh!!!

The only way I could get the electrolyte stuff down was with it being ice cold.

Like, ice ice ICE cold.

That was the only way it was tolerable.

This also made me super cold. At this point, I hadn't slept well in several days and hadn't eaten solid food in 18 hours. Because of this, I was under my electric blanket shivering, which made drinking this solution even more miserable.

But I got through it, and my system was, uh, cleaned out sufficiently...

I didn't sleep at all Thursday night. Partly because I was nervous about the procedures on Friday, and partly because I was still dealing with the after effects of the electrolyte stuff.

Friday morning my alarm went off at 5:50 am. Gag. I hit snooze once, but I just stared at the wall. Even though I'd maybe gotten three hours of sleep (at most) and was utterly exhausted, I was wide awake.

This was it. The day of reckoning.

I got up, got ready to go, and once my mom arrived to watch the kids, The Husband and I headed out.

Naturally, it was a bright and sunny day, and since I had to wear my glasses for the procedure (no contacts, safety precaution), I got an instant headache. I just curled up in the front seat, covered my eyes with the sleeves of my sweatshirt, and grumbled begrudgingly.

Hubs and I were both nervous, so there wasn't a lot of talking during the 35 minute drive to the clinic.

I got there, got checked in, and within a few minutes a nurse came to collect me from the waiting room. She had me change into one of those medical gowns that do nothing to hide your modesty and gave me little booties to put over my socks.

She walked me back to the triage area, where I nestled into a reclining chair with several warmed up blankets (at this point, the best part of my morning!).

It took them three tries to thread my IV catheter into a vein, so I have a massive bruise on my right hand from the burst blood vessel. It looks gross. Luckily, they were really good at what they were doing (minus the missing the vein part) so the multiple pokes with a needle didn't hurt.

After this, The Husband was brought back, and we waited for my doctor to come and explain the process to me. After he did, we waited a few more minutes, and then the nurse came to collect me and bring me back to the procedure room.

This is when I got really nervous. Up until this point, I had thought Hubs could be in the room with me, but it turns out he couldn't. Gulp.

I was shaking at this point, and the nurse could tell I was silently freaking out, so she chitchatted with me about my tattoos. Apparently she goes to the same tattoo parlor I do, so we discussed the different artists there and how it's the best one in the area.

Once she got me situated, IV cords and all, on the exam gurney thingy, she injected the Happy Drugs into my IV, and this is where everything gets a little... fuzzy.

I've had to ask Hubs several times since Friday "so is this what happened?", "they said this right?", "I think I remember this...yes?"

It's weird not being able to trust your memory and having whole chunks of time be missing!

Anyway, after we got home I spent the rest of the day either in bed or on the couch. I felt like crap! Anesthesia affects me quite strongly, so it took a long time to fully leave my system, plus after having not eaten for a full 24 hours, those two components combined to make me incredibly weak and nauseous.

BUT!

Once I did start feeling better, Hubs grilled me the most delicious steak and roasted the best potatoes ever, in celebration of the fact that....

... Everything came back normal!!!!

My colon and intestine and stomach are all good to go!

No polyps! No cancer! No gremlins!

I am waiting for the results of the biopsies to test for celiac's, and a couple other things. But regardless of those results, it will all come down to making changes to my diet. Compared to other, more life altering possibilities, I am more than willing to alter what I eat!

So yeah, all good news!

Post-visit blues

Not gonna lie, I'm bumming pretty hard right now.

My friend left to go home first thing this morning, and it always saddens me when our visits are over because they are usually so short. We grew up three houses down from each other, and now we only get to see each other a couple times a year at the most. It sucks a little bit.

Confession: after she left I may have crawled back in bed a little teary-eyed.

But!

Since she lives about four hours away now, and this is the closest we've lived to each other in, oh, 15 years, we plan to take full advantage of it. We were discussing trading off visits- she comes down one month, I go up there the next month- in order to see each other more frequently.

She's one of my most favorite-est people ever, and I miss her greatly, and it would be lovely to be more regularly involved in each other's lives.

Plus, I love Victoria, it's such a pretty city!

Right? Right?!?

So now life goes back to normal. I have a quiz to write for my Race and Ethnicity class that I've been putting off all week. I have laundry to do. And I have a bunch of TV shows to get caught up on since I've turned the TV on maybe twice this week total.

But first the quiz. Always the quiz.

Edjumucated

As I mentioned yesterday, I start spring quarter tomorrow.

AND!!!

This quarter marks four quarters left until I graduate!

Sweet baby Jesus, I never thought I'd ever see the end in sight. But it's coming, and I'm glad. I would be done sooner if I took summer classes, but let's face it, my summer breaks are the only thing keeping me sane at this point. Plus, we have a big road trip to Wyoming planned for July, and I'm sure as heck not going to try and juggle school and needing constant internet access while also criss-crossing multiple states and doing all the touristy goodness.

So yeah, one year left. I can dig it.

Since I am a stay-at-home-mom and have some serious schedule restrictions, taking online classes was pretty much the only way I'd be able to get my degree done any time soon. I decided to attend City University of Seattle, since you can do online or in person classes (strictly online schools don't seem as legit to me, I want to be able to meet the people behind the scenes), and because it is a proven, fully accredited, high-quality, non-profit, non-scam-y school (unlike so many others!)

I've known many people who have graduated from CityU and were able to get really good jobs afterwards, not find themselves unemployable with a bullshit degree like *some* people we know. Yes, that was catty, but after so many months of mocking my school, it turns out the joke was on them. So neener-neener.

(Yes, I'm a mature adult, I swear!)

ANYHOODLE, besides my degree capstone, which I can't take until my very last quarter, all I have left are electives, and since I've been taking such dry, predictable business classes lately, I decided to branch out and take more interesting classes for my electives.

This may prove to be a mistake, but we'll see...

This quarter I am taking a humanities class, Intro to World Religions, and a psychology class, Race and Ethnic Issues in America. I was super stoked about these classes until yesterday when, while gathering my course information, such as my syllabi, course schedules, grading rubrics, and the first week's assignments, I stumbled across a little tidbit of info that instilled the fear of God in me.

Or, at least the fear of the APA Citation Nazi.

See, spring quarter of last year I took an anthropology class, and while I highly enjoyed the entire class and was getting straight A's and all was hunky-dory, after submitting my final paper of the class, my instructor tried accusing me of plagiarism.

The only problem though? I hadn't plagiarized!!!

And she even admitted as much.

She just didn't like the way I had structured one of my paragraphs and felt I should have done it differently, and was basically holding my entire academic future hostage in order to force her opinion down my throat. It was absolute bullshit. She made me rewrite the entire paper in one day, and while I complained to my advisor and found out this is the way this teacher tends to operate (and still came away with an A in the class), it completely ruined my entire anthropology experience.

And now?!? That same instructor is the course manager for my Religions class.

Educational facepalm

So I now find myself dreading my Religions class. Basically, I'm just going to be super-duper on top of all of my citations and be the brown-nosing overachiever that everyone hates but that is necessary to not have to deal with Her Majesty Queen of the Power Trip.

Oy.

On top of that, I can always tell when school is starting back up because of the knot of stress that squarely lodges itself in my guts and stays there for the following ten weeks. Ugh. The knot is definitely bigger this time around.

Housewifery, Canadians, and tattoos

So my To Do list for this weekend keeps growing. And growing.

The weather is crappy, so no yard or garden work will be getting done, but that's okay, because my inside chores are enough to keep me plenty busy.

First, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Adrienne, is coming to visit on Tuesday, so I need to get my house absolutely spotless. Not that I need to impress her. I mean, we've been friends since we were almost five, so I'm pretty sure she won't judge me if my house isn't in museum shape. But still, my OCD requires that my house be as perfect as possible for guests. (Then again, I try to keep my house spiffy anyway for my own sanity, so I guess nothing's really new!) (A tidy house equals a tidy brain)

This is the first time Age will be visiting our new house. Well, I guess it's not that new, we've been here for over a year and a half, but she was living all the way across the continent until just recently, so her last visit was almost three years ago. I'm excited to get to spend some time with her. I feel like she makes me sane. While we have plenty of friends around here, she's the only one that I feel totally myself with. She's known me almost my whole life, and it's rare to have people in your life for that long. She's a peach!

Age is going to be here for the better part of the week, and while it sucks that the kids and I have school and The Husband has work, we'll still rock it! On Wednesday my sister and I have appointments to get tattoos, and Age is pretty much an expert in that field (*cough* cough* getthegypsytattooyouknowyouwantto *cough *cough*) so she's coming along for moral support. And I'm trying not-so-subtly (see above) to convince her to get one she's been thinking about for quite a while. She has her whole back and both sides done, but hey, there's always room for more!

This will be my second tattoo, and my sister's first, so we're both very excited about it. I'm a little nervous since I'm getting mine down my spine, and the pain factor is... unknown and intimidating. But I'm a big girl and didn't even flinch during my first one, so hopefully I won't be the sissy whimpering in the corner...

Besides that, Age will also be here for my daughter's birthday party next weekend, which is super awesome! She can help me plan and cook and decorate! Yay for free help friends!

I don't know what else we will end up doing this week, I think we'll just wing it. One of the nights we want to take her to our favorite restaurant, assuming we can get a sitter. Beyond that? Who knows!

Coinciding with Age's visit, spring quarter starts on Monday. However, the portal opened yesterday, so I'm going to try and get as much of the first week's homework done as quickly as possible. That way, I won't have much to do that will be interfering with actual, you know, fun stuff. Of course, this means that I need to get a move on, like, now.

Lunatic salad with a side of crazy sauce

Holy geez.

Just when you think things can't any busier or weirder, life has a way of showing you up.

Sigh...

So first of all, cat ownership is proving to be challenging for my patience today. I think he's pissed we were gone all day yesterday, so he's gone completely mental today to make a point. And if I have to clean up any more spilled tea or pick up any more knocked over lamps, I may just lock him in kitty jail for the rest of the afternoon (and by kitty jail, I mean the little bathroom where his litter box is stashed). Because grrr.

So yesterday we were out of town all day because we had to head across the state to address some health concerns that my mother-in-law has been ignoring for far too long, and basically 'intervention-ed' her about it because her children are genuinely worried. My mother-in-law and I don't really have the warm-and-fuzziest relationship, so I was mostly just there for moral support for The Husband. I don't think anything I would have added to the conversation would have been absorbed anyway, so I just kept quiet. I am thinking about commissioning my health-expert friend to come up with a heart-healthy diet for her, though. Because despite our frosty relationship, it's not like I'm hoping she kicks the bucket any time soon (contrary to popular opinion, my cold black heart isn't quite that cold and black) (sshhhh, don't tell anyone).

Besides all of that, this week has also been crazy for a whole other reason. So awhile back I mentioned our crazy prepper neighbors with their guns and guard dogs and chain link fence. Well, it turns out maybe they aren't the scary ones after all (at least, in the grand scheme of things).

(Although, side note, they ended up forgoing the chain link fence in favor of a tension cable fence. Like, what they used for the dinosaur paddocks in Jurassic Park. Yeah. Not as ugly as chain link, but still...)

Anyway, we have this other neighbor, let's call him Crazy E for the purposes of this post. Crazy E has been well known by our entire neighborhood for being... well, a little whacked. When you first meet him he seems all friendly and jovial and whatnot, but after one conversation with him you realize that he's the "I caught a fish fourteen feet long... but I threw it back" kind of guy. He tells tall tales.

Okay, fine, that's harmless enough. Liar, liar, pants on fire, but at least it makes for entertaining stories.

Only... after chatting with him more than once or twice, you quickly begin to glean that something isn't right with him. First of all, he gives off a very distinct.... rape-y vibe. He has certain creeper qualities that have made all the women in this neighborhood avoid him like the plague.

Second, he has serious boundary issues. He'll just wander into your yard and make himself at home. Regardless of if you're just out working in the yard, or you have guests over and are having a barbecue or whatever, he'll just sort of invite himself. And not leave.

Third, he drinks. Excessively. Like, to the point of completely blacking out in his front yard in the middle of the day. Yeah. And considering he's A STAY AT HOME DAD, clearly that's totally uncool. Why CPS hasn't been called, I don't know.

But the fourth and final quality you eventually learn about Crazy E? Dude has some serious anger issues. I guess his across-the-street neighbors can hear him and his wife fighting constantly, which breaks my heart for their little boy.

Well, earlier this week all of these lovely qualities came together to form the perfect storm of crazy. Crazy E had been drinking heavily (no shock there), and was wandering aimlessly through the neighborhood (again, nothing new) when he discovered his across-the-street-neighbor's kids were playing up the road with prepper-family's kids. Apparently this set him off, so he marched home, grabbed his pistol, came back, and started screaming and yelling and raving like a lunatic about "so what, my kid's not good enough to play with your kids?" and "come out here and let's resolve this" and scary crap like that.

Dude was waving a handgun at CHILDREN.

Clearly, prepper mom called the cops, and four sheriff's cars arrived very shortly thereafter. It took them quite awhile to calm Crazy E down, and he was arrested on a weapons related charge.

Needless to say, I've had our alarm system armed 24/7 since.

But the scariest part for me? The fact that just hours after he was released yesterday, he was at my children's school volunteering in his son's class. Like nothing had happened. Someone who is clearly unbalanced, has access to firearms, and has anger and alcohol problems, and is still working in the classroom?!? I feel like I've seen this news story before...

So I called the school.

Up until this point I hadn't gotten involved, because the situation did not directly include me, and I tend to mind my own business until my involvement is necessary. Well, I'm sure as hell not going to have another Sandy Hook situation occur at my children's school, so you better believe I got involved at this point.

I spoke with the principal, who had just been made aware of the situation, and Crazy E is no longer permitted to have any contact with any of the kids on campus apart from dropping off and picking up his son. But apparently there isn't really much they can legally do to bar him from campus.

And that I have a problem with.

There has to be more that can be done to protect our children, especially in this day and age where gun crimes are committed on the daily. It's times like this where I contemplate getting involved in politics...

Anyway, Crazy E currently has a restraining order against him, and prepper-mom is planning to prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law, and while I am not a litigious person, I fully support her decision to do so. No one gets to threaten children and get away with it. If it were my kids, I be out for blood too.

And the stupid thing is we moved out here to the foothills to avoid crazy shit like this. I just want to tend the garden, have our bonfires, and sit on the deck watching the sunset paint the mountain pink and orange.

Not feel like I'm living my very own rap song!

Blergh

Yesterday afternoon I had the *brilliant* idea to have one last special hurrah for the winding down of the kids' spring break. I thought it would be fun to surprise them and take them out to dinner and maybe do something fun afterwards. The Husband and I even discussed possibly going to see Jurassic Park in 3D (normally I don't do 3D movies- they make me motion sick- but I love me some Jurassic Park, and it would have been fun for the kids too)

So we packed up, and after a pit stop at the library to pick up some books the kids had on hold, we headed down to the Alderwood Mall. 

Now, I love Alderwood. It has great stores, a great atmosphere, and everything we need during any given mall trip. I've never had a bad experience there. Ever. 

Until yesterday.

(But it wasn't the mall's fault, so it's record still stands)

So we get there, and the first thing we do is head by the movie theater to check on times for Jurassic Park. Strike out. It's not playing there. The Husband looked it up on his phone, and turns out it's playing at the theater up the road, but there are only two times- 15 minutes from then, or 10 o'clock that night. We still hadn't eaten dinner, so going to the movie first wasn't really an option, and there was no way we were taking the kids to a 10:00 movie! So Jurassic Park was out.  *sadface*

So we park and head inside the mall, and then make a rundown of the plan. Eat, REI, Victoria's Secret, and then figure it out from there. Hubs had our REI dividend, and there were a few things he wanted to look at. I had two Victoria's Secret gift coupons to redeem. The kids wanted to hit up the Lego store (because who wouldn't?!?). And there were a couple of things I wanted to get at Nordstrom.

But first, food! Usually at Alderwood we just eat at the food court. We've eaten at Blue C Sushi before, but I'm not really a fan of sushi, so my options are limited there. We've eaten at P.F. Chang's numerous times (so good!). But we decided to branch out this time in honor of doing something special for the kids. 

Blergh.

This is where the evening went wrong.

We decided to try Claim Jumper. We'd heard of it before, and heard it was good, so we figured why not branch out? 

So we went and checked in at Claim Jumper, where we were told it would be 30-40 minutes for a table. The restaurant's atmosphere was nice, and we wanted to try something new, so we gave them our name, took the little buzzer thing, and wandered back into the mall to kill some time. 

I stopped by Starbucks, because I was cold and desperately needed caffeine. Then we headed across the mall to REI really quick to scope things out. Then we wandered back to Claim Jumper where we finished waiting for our table.

Once we were finally seated, we perused the menu, made our selections, and waited.

And waited...

It took awhile for our food to come, and once it did... well, it disappointed. Greatly.

The appetizer we ordered was... alright. Nothing special. Certainly not worth the $23!

Then our meals came.

Blergh.

My food was alright. They forgot my sourdough roll, but other than that everything seemed okay. Not amazing, but edible at least.

My oldest son's meal was burnt. To a crisp.

My youngest son's meal was forgotten and had to be reordered.

My daughter's meal was undercooked.

And The Husband's meal was so gross he couldn't even eat it. 

Talk about striking out!

Our server was lovely, despite all the mishaps, and she really tried to make it right. The Husband's and oldest son's meals were comped, and she threw in free desserts for the kids, and we still tipped her well because none of it was her fault. 

But even with the two free meals, our bill was $90.

$90!!!

For crappy food!!!

Blergh.

Finally our unfortunate dining experience was over, but by now it was 8:30, and the mall closed at 9:00. Suddenly our plans had to go into a condensed overdrive. The boys headed to REI, while us girls ran to Victoria's Secret. I got my free item and picked out a cute purple hoodie for the $10 off coupon, and then we headed back to find the boys. By this time the mall was on the verge of closing. 

So much for the Lego store and aimless roaming!

As we headed across the mall to REI, I suddenly started not feeling so well. It came in a wave, and then passed a few minutes later. We got to REI and were locked out because it was exactly 9:00, so I had to wait and sneak in once another customer left. We found the boys, and I helped The Husband choose between two pairs of those cargo pants that zip off into shorts. He checked out while I headed back through Nordstrom to the parking garage, completely forgetting that I had things to get in Nordstrom! By now I was starting to not feel well again.

We headed home, and within moments of arriving, I was sick.

I think I got mild food poisoning!!!

BLERGH!!!!

Never, ever, ever eating at Claim Jumper again. Ever. What a waste of an evening, and a total bummer on my "fun family evening" plans.

Luckily today our plan is to veg and watch movies with the kids all day, which suits me fine since I still feel kind of yucky.

Blergh.

Procrastination set in...

I'm supposed to be studying for an HR midterm. But my brain got fuzzy and I'm getting a headache, so I'm taking a breather.

HR is... well, it's alright I guess. Not as dry as I'd expected, though I have a few insufferable brown-nosers in my class that make it slightly painful to deal with. It's a requirement for my degree, so I've just got to muddle through a few more weeks. Then it's on to a few quarters of electives and I'll finally have my Bachelor's! It's taken a bit longer than planned but, hey, at least it's happening.

SO I started the Couch-to-5k training this week!

I know! And my ass muscles are sore to prove it...

Hopefully I actually stick with it, because I think it'll pay off if I do. Bring it on, shorts weather!!!

It's a beautiful, sunny day in the Seattle area today, and I'm a little bitter that I'm stuck inside studying. But my goal is to have my midterm done by tonight and have all weekend to play. Hopefully the weather gets the memo and sticks around a few more days. I'm a little twitchy and could use a good hike. I feel Mt. Pilchuck beckoning me back, but it's way too snowy up there still and I don't want to be another search-and-rescue statistic for that mountain. I think I'll hold off on that one until further into spring. And Age, you're coming with me!

I also have plans to hike the peninsula this summer. I figure since my state has a rainforest, I should at least go and walk through it, eh? I have a lot of hiking plans for this summer. We'll see how many of them come to fruition.

As you can probably tell, I'm getting antsy for spring and summer to come. I want to get outside, work in the yard, play, hike, all that good stuff. Contrary to many people's assumptions of me, I'm not as big of a prissy chick as I appear to be. I love being outdoors.

And yes, you can actually enjoy outside even when you hate insects.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

Amen to that

Glad we cleared that up. Back to studying...

Welcome to the (rural) jungle

I live in a small town.

Not the creepy, seedy, get-jumped-by-a-gang-of-methed-out-12-year-olds kind of small town.

A cute, quaint, homey, historic small town. And I love it. I really do.

Except for one thing... The Mommy Mafia.

Now, the Mommy Mafia does not resemble an actual crime syndicate in any obvious way. They don't talk in muffled, Italian accents. They don't (at least, to my knowledge) bring guns and cannolies with them. There have been no horse heads or toll booth shootouts.

BUT!!!

They will inevitably make you an offer you can't refuse.

Or shouldn't, at least.

Because refusing lands you firmly in the persona non grata category of the elementary school social ladder, which is a precarious place to be.

That is, unless you are like me, and you simply don't care.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not antisocial. I'm not a misanthrope... (well, maybe a little)

I just don't buy into all the drama social crap that goes on in the parenting world. It's nonsense. These women act like they're the ones still in high school, and it would be frustrating if it weren't exceedingly amusing to sit back and watch. There is something both fascinating and sad about a 40-something woman wearing hot pink nail polish and chunky highlights. It's just...wrong.

Even more wrong is that these same women tend to be the ones whose 12-year old daughters walk around in booty shorts and spaghetti-strap tank tops, acting like they're a 22-year old co-ed at Mardi Gras. But that's a whole other matter entirely. Shitty parenting and the sexualization of today's kids is a whole series of blog posts unto themselves.

But I digress...

The Mommy Mafia.

Don't let the picturesque small town fool you. These women mean business. They're just as vicious as the metropolitan socialite mothers, only rather than Bentleys, St. Barth's, and plastic surgery, it's pampered horses, gigantic $80k pickup trucks... and plastic surgery.

And that offer you can't refuse (or risk social peril)?

Taking an official position within the PTA.

Laugh, but I kid you not. Welcome to the seedy underbelly of elementary school.

You've been warned.

Back in the saddle again

Hiddely-ho internets! It's been awhile... But I'm back, bitches!

I had a blog many moons ago, back when blogging was less mainstream and more...

*gulp*

... hipster-y...

I know, the horror!

But then in a fit of writer's block and doldrums I erased it (three years of work!) and never looked back.

Until recently, that is, when I realized that I needed a creative outlet again. A way to express my constant, rambling dialogue that goes on my harried little brain. And so, here I am!

Don't really know what more to say. I don't really have a specific "plan" for the blog, per se. I know many people start out with the intent of "I'm going to write a travel blog", or "I'm going to show of my culinary masterpieces", or "I just really like pictures of cats"... but that's not me. I'll talk about many things on here, most of which will likely seem hilarious or culturally relevant to me and be nothing more than a *headscratch* and *facepalm* to others, but that's okay!

I'll talk about parenting and vegetarian cooking and my sad attempts at getting any of my work published (I know, a blogger who is an aspiring writer...SHOCKER!!!). I live in the Seattle area, so I'll toss in some Emerald City love here and there. I'm a student, so there will be venting and swearing during midterms and finals. I also love hiking and road trips and books, so I'm sure I'll throw a few of those in there from time to time to mix it up.

But basically, as with most things in my life, I'm just going to wing it and hope for the best!

And away we go...