Everyone calm the f*ck down, mmmkay?

In my last post, I discussed the random challenge we were faced with in receiving two competing job offers in one day. Well, given my overly-caffeinated inability to focus coupled with my mental and emotional exhaustion, I apparently didn't explain the situation particularly well.

Because of this, and the blowback I have received regarding our "decision", let me clarify a few things:

No, we don't hate living here. We just love Seattle and the plan was always to move back in a few years anyway. It's not a waving-the-white-flag situation, so keep your "I told you so" to yourself.

No, it would not have been "selling [our] soul" had we taken the Seattle offer. We knew it wasn't perfect, and that it would have been career-limiting, but it would have gotten us back up there (which was our only reason for considering it). Also, no, I don't make my decisions based on [this individual's] opinions. But thanks anyway.

Financially speaking, it would have been challenging and borderline irresponsible to move back. Moving 1200 miles is friggin' expensive! U-Haul, gas, food, hotels, and oh yeah, buying or renting a house; it adds up. Also, while we would have been able to sell our house quickly, we would not have even made back our down payment since we haven't lived here very long. All of that was a major 'con'.

While our heart may be in Seattle, sometimes you have to be a grown up and consider the responsible choice. Staying here and taking the local offer is the better career move, as well as the financially responsible move. Facts don't lie.

What I know everyone is thinking when
they say "I understand"...

Yes, I would rather live in Seattle than Wyoming. Duh.

Yes, I can be a Seattle girl even if I live 1200 miles away. I will always love Seattle. It's an amazing city filled with incredible art, culture, music, food, and people. And coffee. (God, I miss good coffee.) The climate and geography are amazing. The perpetual green is beautiful. The ferris wheel is... well, terrifying for me, on account of hating heights. But still. Living sandwiched between the ocean and the Cascades is where my soul is fed. Seattle is an incredibly special place.

Yes, I was looking forward to coming back. I had already made plans to spend my birthday up in Victoria with my childhood bestest friend, having high tea at the Empress (delicious!), roaming the cute little shops and bakeries, and hitting up a few of the 8,000 Irish pubs down by the harbor. I was going to kidnap other bestest friend, Ginger Jesus, and their kids for Thanksgiving. I was planning the annual Halloween party with my mom. I was invested in this.

And yes, I was heartbroken when it didn't work out.

But I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and apparently staying put is what we're meant to do for now. Hub's new company will provide him the valuable experience, marketable title, and global platform to grow his career in ways the Seattle job could never have. So while I miss my family and friends terribly, I understand that things worked out for the better. 

I'm sorry I let everyone down by dangling the carrot and then having to take it away. 

But we will be back. That much is guaranteed. 

And until then? We enjoy the journey and the experience. Next stop, Mt. Rushmore and Carhenge!

Happy Birthday?

So…. My birthday is just days away.

The big 3-0.

I've got to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Leading up until now, I was totally stoked. A new decade is always exciting, and maybe once I'm in my 30s I will start feeling like an actual grown up.

(Probably not. But it's a distant hope.)

But now that I'm standing on the precipice, I've become a little afraid of jumping.

I'm not sure why exactly. I'm not one of those girls who thinks it's all down hill after your 20s. I'm not yet worried about crow's feet or frown lines or what have you. I still feel young and vibrant (if not a little tired right now because life has been hectic).

I think my hesitation with 30 is that, for one, I feel like time is flying by at lightening speeds, and it's making me a little panicky. I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to look back and wonder where my life went. I want to experience and enjoy and appreciate where I'm at and what I'm doing. I want to live in the now with gratitude and an open heart, and sometimes I feel like time is going by too quickly to do that. And so the "holy crap I'm 30" concept is a little shocking in that manner.

Also, in keeping with the I-hope-I-feel-like-a-grown-up mentality, turning 30 has left me grappling with some, shall we say, "life choices". Apparently in your 30s is when you become fully aware and confident in who you are, and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on that. But sometimes, being true to yourself leads to some uncomfortable encounters. And then that discomfort makes me second-guess myself. And then I feel like an uncertain kid again, instead of the rather fabulous almost-30-year-old that I am.

For one, as you know we just recently moved to Wyoming. Coming from the greater Seattle area, this has been quite a shock to the system! Recently, I've experienced some unpleasantness from a few of the local residents, and the only explanation I can come up with is my bumper stickers. They are, admittedly, fairly liberal. And the reactions I've received from some people? Alarming. I know who I am and I know what I believe in and why, and yet this unpleasantness has led me to question myself. Should I remove the bumper stickers? Should I try to blend in more in this extremely red state? Or should I face the discomfort and be myself, knowing that while it may make a few enemies, it will also allow me to make genuine friends, rather than friends with whom I cannot be myself.

Secondly, earlier this week I found myself in a really upsetting situation. Without getting too into the details, the basic gist is that I had to inform a close relative (the only one in this town) that I was uncomfortable with her on-off boyfriend coming over for Thanksgiving. There is a whole myriad of reasons, but it boils down to feeling uneasy with his unpredictable, unsavory, immature, and quite frankly, unsafe behavior. If you are incapable of being sober… ever… you're not welcome in my home and around my children. Especially after his most recent bout of asshole-itude. She may be willing to put up with it, but I'm not, nor do I have to. So a initiated the awkward conversation knowing that it would be uncomfortable, and possibly unpleasant. But I had no idea what it would turn into.

Suffice it to say, it was not pretty. There was no conversation, no discussion. She reacted instantly, and harshly. I was completely caught off guard. She said some incredibly awful things to me. She basically text-bombed me for almost three hours straight, taking every pot shot and low blow she could come up with, leaving me shaking and in tears. She then basically divorced me and my family.

All because I was honest with my feelings, and with what I was comfortable with in my home. Something I had every right to express. I was not mean, I did not call names or defame anyone's character (unlike her). I simply explained delicately, calmly, and rationally how I felt and why.

And apparently in her world, that means I'm incapable of love and an awful, heartless person.

Once again, I began questioning myself. Should I have said anything at all? Should I have kept my discomfort with her loser boyfriend to myself and just smiled and played nice, even if it meant ruining my Thanksgiving and exposing my children to potentially unpleasant or unsafe circumstances? Was I justified in expressing my feelings?

Having gained a little bit of time and clarity between now and the initial encounter, I do feel I did the right thing. I had to be true to myself, even though it produced an unexpected and unfortunate outcome. What kills me the most is that 1) I've been the one who's been there for her, supported her, rescued her, and stood up for her, and to have her forget that and turn on me so quickly stung, and 2) my children adore her, yet she is totally willing to write them off.

So, lesson learned.

Doing what is right for you is not always about doing what is easy. I guess this is all part and parcel of being a grown up?

Welcome to 30! Be prepared to know who you are. And to have people hate you for it.

Beautiful message on how a little perspective and empathy goes a long way

Footprints on my heart

I think it is a universal understanding that good friends are hard to come by. In this great big world of 7 billion people, finding individuals who truly accept you for you, warts and all, is tricky. People want you to fit into their preconceived mold; they want to define you, shape you, control you, and turn you into their version of who they think you should be.

It's shitty, but true.

Growing up, I had several friends through elementary school and high school who were like that. I was told who to be, what to think, how to act, what I did or did not like, and sadly I accepted that for myself.

Until one day I didn't.

Needless to say, I have sufficiently lost contact with all of those "friends".

Now that I am approaching my 30s, it has become increasingly clear to me that it's not the quantity of friends you have, it's the quality.

In keeping with that, I really only have three true friends in my life. Yes, I have many more people that I would call my friends, several of whom I know I could call for help in a crisis or whatever.

But only three of them are people that I feel truly "get" me. People I could call sobbing at 3am, and they would drop everything to be there for me. And I for them.

The first is my sister. Growing up, we hated each other. Like, truly despised each other's existence. I was the irritated older sister, she was the spoiled younger sister. We fought. We threw things at each other. We called each other the meanest names we could think of. She bit me. I kicked her. Once she even pulled a knife on me!

(It was a butter knife, and she was about 4 or 5, but still)

(I still give her shit for it)

It wasn't until she was about 15 or so that we started to actually enjoy each other's company. After she graduated high school, she lived with The Husband and I off and on for almost two years, and while that was difficult in some ways, it was also a lot of fun and brought us closer together. She has been there for me through some tough stuff, and I for her, and I love her dearly and miss her a ton now that we've moved.

I don't think I truly appreciated how much I enjoyed getting to spend time with her or talk to her regularly, and now that we're 1200 miles away, I get sad thinking about it. I'm getting a little ferklemped right now actually, so moving on!

The second friend is my dear friend Age. She and I have been friends for 25 years.

Yeah. Saying that makes me feel reaaaallly old...

But we were barely 5 when we met, so the math isn't as devastating as it sounds.

Age was my first (and really only) best friend. She was my other half! We did everything together growing up. Sledding and camping and every single birthday and eight million sleepovers. We would play dress up until the wee hours of the morning, and then her parents would make the best pancakes in the world- still unrivaled by any other pancakes, ever.

Like, seriously, don't even try. Kotyk Pancakes for the win.

She had the cool video game systems that my family couldn't afford, and I developed my love of Super Mario and Donkey Kong at her house. We had a pet nail (one of those industrial sized rail road nails?) (yeah... I don't know... overactive imaginations?) attached to a meltwater runoff pipe on the walk home from the bus stop, and we named her Nailey and dressed her up in grasses and leaves and whatnot. We made snow forts and climbed trees and picked cherries and spent more time on the banks of the Columbia River than I can even remember (though I distinctly remember the intense terror I felt every time we went down there, because of the insane amounts of poison ivy plants and my irrational fear of touching said poison ivy) (which I still have today...) I practically lived at her house, and her parents still consider me one of their daughters.

We certainly had our ups and downs. She was the domineering one (as the youngest of three girls, I think she was exerting her power any way she could) and I was a total pushover. We fought like cats and dogs, but never stayed away too long (even when we probably should have). In about the 6th grade, we had a temporary friendship divorce, but I think it only lasted maybe a month or so? After that we pretty much stopped fighting (unless she was hanging out with one of the Amandas. The Amandas were never nice to me. Bitches) and our lifelong friendship was cemented.

I moved away at the end of 8th grade, and against all odds and expectations (and several hundred miles), we stayed in touch and stayed friends. While we don't see each other as often as we'd like, we still make it work. She is a part of me. She has known me the longest, put up with me and my idiosyncrasies, and accepts me fully (as I do her). Because of her (and her family) I had a happier childhood than I otherwise would have. We have literally and figuratively grown up together. I know that she will always be in my heart and in my life, and I love her and miss her dearly.

(Happy Birthday tomorrow!!!)

The third friend is my soul-sista Kym. I swear, meeting her was like meeting my (blonde, much shorter, much larger-breasted) alter ego. Our husbands find it a little scary how alike we are. She and I clicked instantly, which almost never happens for me. I always feel like I have to put on a facade with people, especially when I first meet them. But with Kym, I was instantly comfortable with her. I can totally be myself around her, and nothing phases her. While we've only known each other a short while, I feel like I've known her forever. We've supported each other through life's bullshit, we've laughed, we've cried, our kids are best friends, even our husbands get along great.

Leaving Kym was one of the hardest parts of moving to Wyoming (besides my family, of course). She was the first person I'd met, in the town I'd lived in for over 6 years, with whom I actually genuinely clicked. Our families instantly bonded, and I could easily see us all growing old together, sitting on our back deck, drinking beers and commiserating about what crazy thing our kids did, or the uber-mom up the street and the bitchy thing she said this time, or the craziness of extended family.

I miss them terribly, my kids miss their kids, and when I get particularly lonely or stressed out down here, I wish I could just walk up the street to Kym's, plop on her couch, play with Baby-Baby, and chit-chat for hours.

Greetings from the other side... of the Rockies

Hey hey! I'm back from the abyss.

And by abyss, I mean the internet-less world of moving.

Man has it been crazy lately. Like, mind-bogglingly so. I find it hard to believe that we left Washington only a week and a half ago, it feels like longer (and shorter all at the same time).

So here I am, in a new state, in a new time zone, in a sort of temporary limbo whilst I await our house being built.

The OCD organizational side of me? Not loving it.

The hippie, gypsy, free-spirited side of me? Going with the flow, man.

Cause really? That's all I can do right now.

I'm a little bitter, because the apartment we're renting until our house is done doesn't allow satellite dishes to be put up, so we had to suspend our DIRECTV service for a few months and go with Comcast.

And to be clear: I. Hate. Comcast.

Why, you ask? Because they suck. Exhibit A? The fact that our DVR doesn't work. At all. I can't record anything. I can't pause, rewind, etc. I can't enter in any favorites. Nothing. I get an error message saying that the DVR function is disabled and to call customer service.

And when we called to figure out what was going on, the stupid customer service rep said it was just because we weren't pressing the buttons on the remote hard enough.

Let me repeat.

Our DVR isn't functional, everything we try to do is met with an error message, and we were told it was because we weren't pressing buttons hard enough.

Special kind of stupid, I tell ya.

So after several more phone calls, we finally have a tech coming out on Thursday. I guess my reality TV escapism will have to wait...

Otherwise known as the Real Housewives of somewhere or other

Peace-ing out

Tonight is my last night in my first house. Tomorrow is my last day living in Washington.

(At least, for the foreseeable future)

Goodbye Snohomish. I heart you.

Goodbye Lake Roesiger. You've been lovely and you will be sorely missed!!!

This area of Western Washington is a gem and will always hold a special place in my soul...

"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way..."

So life has been... hectic lately. To say the least.

That whole 'preparing to move halfway across the country while simultaneously trying to maintain the rest of my life responsibilities' thing.

You know. No biggie, right?

Of course right.

So the first big part of this last week (or the only truly news-worthy part, anyway) is that... WE SOLD OUR HOUSE!!!!

Inoright?!?

It was listed for a whole four hours, which is nuts. All I can say is thank God for a seller's market!

And the fact that we've owned it for 20 months and managed to make a profit? Amazing. Granted, we're not walking away millionaires by any means, but still. That's a major obstacle that we can take off our To Do list, and that's a huge sigh of relief!

(Of course, now we have to find a new place to live... 1800 miles away... no prob, right?... right?!?)

Beyond that, trying to balance my end-of-the-quarter school craziness, the kids' end-of-the-school-year chaos, keeping my house from spiraling into a tsunami of clutter, and not having a mental breakdown in the process has been... tricky at best.

Who's idea was this again?

Mine!?

Oh that's right.

Crap.

The irony of accidentally ending up moving halfway across the country... Only I could manage something like that.

Overall, I am getting excited about the move. Stressed beyond belief. Losing weight. Losing sleep. Overwhelmed and slightly panicky. But excited nonetheless!

I think it will be fun to see a new part of the country, to explore places I wouldn't otherwise get to see as easily, and to make new memories and share this experience with my kids (although my daughter has convinced herself that a posse of rattlesnakes is awaiting her, and I can't convince her otherwise!) I am looking forward to the opportunities and adventures awaiting us in Cheyenne.

I'm also wishing I could Go-Go-Gadget Magic Packing Machine my house.

Home, home on the range...???

So things have been... interesting around here, so say the least. Remember awhile back when I mentioned that pesky gypsy wind was wreaking havoc with my status quo?

Well she came back.

In gale force.

And my life is about to be turned completely upside down.

Let me explain.

So back when I wrote that blog post, I had been searching and applying The Husband for jobs for several months. He has been unhappy with his current employer for awhile now, ever since they made some, shall we say, douche-y decisions. So I started looking around the greater Seattle area.

Local city governments, school districts, hospitals, major businesses, small businesses, utility companies, you name it I checked it out.

Now, The Husband has been in the IT industry for over 15 years now, and in probably any other part of the country that experience and expertise would be in demand. But not in Seattle.

IT people are a dime a dozen around here, and employers either want the entry-level tech who will work for $12 an hour, or someone who holds three Master's and two Doctorate's. There's nothing in between. Combine that with the fact that Boeing is getting ready to do a major layoff of thousands- yes, thousands- of IT people, and the odds become stacked even more against you.

So I branched out.

San Francisco. Portland. British Columbia.

More of the same. Too few jobs being competed for by too many overly qualified IT people.

I even devised a hair-brained scheme to move to the incredibly beautiful but incredibly tiny town of Joseph, Oregon. Why? Because it's pretty. Are there jobs there? NOPE! Their industry dried up years ago, so unless you are an established small-business owner, you're out of luck.

This is where the culmination of my frustration turned into the blog post about wanting the gypsy wind to take me away.

All I can say is, be careful what you wish for!

Shortly after that, my aunt suggested looking at the hospital in her city. She had heard they were hiring for IT, and sure enough, they were! So I applied The Husband, assumed it would be more of the same, and forgot all about it.

Until they called. And I began to panic.

Because the hospital where my aunt lives?

It's in Cheyenne. As in WYOMING.

Yeah...

Fast forward to today, and my life sits on this giant precipice above a gnarling torrent of chaos.

That sounds a bit dramatic, eh? But it's so true. The offer that the hospital presented to The Husband was... incredible, to say the least. Too good to turn down. Husband gave his current employer a chance to counter the offer, and they did. However, the counter offer was nothing more than a token gesture, and was actually a bit insulting when you consider that he has given them his blood, sweat, and tears over the years.

So we're moving halfway across the country.

I don't think it has fully sunk in yet. It seems surreal to me. And let's just say that no one is really taking it well. My family isn't speaking to me. Husband's family is split- some are excited for us, some are pissed. Our friends are all heartbroken, but they have all promised to come visit regularly. And naturally we will be back up here to visit as well.

But still. It's a huge move. And it's scary, and sad. But it's also a really good thing.

By the way, did you know that Wyoming has antelope?!?

Raining men at Le Faux

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

Okay.

So the drag show.

Suffice it to say the evening did not go as planned.

The show was entertaining, and the host, Isaac Scott, was fabulous.

I would probably go again, but I would change a few variables.

So let's break this down, shall we?

The original plan was to take my mom down there for her birthday. We would pay for her ticket and her meal, watch the show, all that good stuff. Well, it turns out that, for one, the gal that I spoke with when I made the reservations gave me some misinformation (like, you know, pricing, seating, all that somewhat important nonsense), and two, I had misguided expectations of the evening.

The misinformation snafu meant that I didn't bring enough cash with me, and the girl specifically said to bring cash. Strike one.

The misguided expectations were a big strike two and strike three.

Strike two: in my mind I was expecting a Cage Aux Folles kind of situation, where you sit at the same table for your dinner and to watch the show.

But no.

We were shuffled around like cattle by a fairly rude German man. And ended up sitting in these horribly uncomfortable wooden chairs where we had to wait for over an hour for the show itself to even start.

Strike three? Was the ridiculously drunk women next to us who, for one, are way too old to act like that and drink that much, and two, were horribly disruptive and disrespectful to the audience and the performers. They were a bunch of hot messes... minus the hotness.

There was also the awkwardness of my sister's friend who decided at the last minute to come with us, only she refuses to speak to me.

Like, literally.

She and my sister have been friends for... oh... over ten years now? And this chick has literally never said a word to me. Apparently she is afraid of me because she thinks I'm super pretty and therefore scary, and I guess her natural reaction is to just be Frosty the Snow Bitch to me.

Whatever. I tried to talk with her and engage her in the conversation, but to no avail. It was awkward, to say the least. Especially considering I planned the entire thing. But yeah. Ignore me. Not that I'm annoyed or anything...

Overall, the experience was... alright. The food was alright. The performers were pretty good. The host was awesome. My mom had fun, which was the important part.

So like I said, I think I would go again, only this time with my friends. You know, people who will actually acknowledge my existence!

I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?

(I think you can in Europe...)

(If you don't get that reference, then we are never going to be friends)

You know those days when you feel like all of this "stuff" is being dumped in your lap and you are supposed to just find some way to fit it into your already full schedule?

Yeah.

That's where I'm at.

In the last two days, every weekend, and I mean literally every weekend, from now until the end of June has been booked. Solid.

Never mind the fact that I also have school, and the kids have school, and The Husband has work, and our gigantic yard needs constant, never ending, unyielding attention...

Sigh.

I'm tired just thinking about it!

This week for my Race and Ethnic Issues class, I have to watch a movie or read a book that addresses the issues of racial or ethnic diversity, and then write a paper on it using other researched sources to substantiate my point.

After much deliberation, I have decided to watch American History X.

Let me be clear... I HATE that movie.

I mean, it's a really good, well done movie. Don't get me wrong. It's amazing.

I also hate it. It breaks my heart. It makes me angry. It makes me cry (and I hate crying).

(I also dislike Edward Furlong. I find him creepy... in everything... always)

So suffice it to say, I'm not looking forward to watching it again. It's been... I'd say a good 14 years or so since I last watched it... This is going to be tough.

But first, I need to finish my World Religion readings on Buddhism and the printout for the Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings in order to do my discussion questions for that class. Then I need to read the two chapters on African American history from slavery to the Civil Rights Movement (a total of about 90 pages...oy vey) for my Race and Ethnic Issues class in order to do my discussion questions and take my quiz.

And I have to find the time to do all of that while also having friends over for a bonfire on Friday, and going down to Le Faux in Seattle for my mom's birthday on Saturday.

Suddenly I have a headache...

No offense, but you suck as a person

First of all, I just wanted to say that I'm in a much better headspace today. I spent a few days bouncing around inside my brain, and quite frankly, it's a dark and scary place in there!

Lorelei understands

But I've emerged, none worse for the wear.

Granted, I'm still nervous and anxious about Friday, but not in a fetal-position-whimpering-reassuringly-whispering-to-myself kind of way. More in a "alright, fine, let's just do the damned thing" kind of way.

So here we are. Tuesday. Under-caffeinated. Coming down with a cold. Behind in this week's school work. Could really go for a nap.

But instead, I'm going to vent for a sec, then go back to reading about Hinduism for my World Religion's class.

So ever have one of those friends that seem great at first, but then the more you get to know them and the more they come around, the more you realize you actually don't like them as a human being and their presence makes you want to rip your face off?

Yeah.

I'm having that sort of thing happening right now.

Only it's not my friend, it's The Husband's friend.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those jealous, controlling harpies that's just pissed her man is hanging out with someone other than her. No, no.

Even my husband has grown weary of this friend.

See, here's the situation...

So for awhile, this friend was married and doing the whole work/family/spouse thing, and we saw them maybe every two or three months. And that was totally fine. They seemed pleasant enough, and we had a good time hanging out (besides the fact that their children were horribly behaved and would never leave my house without having destroyed something first, and the wife couldn't hold a conversation, which was challenging).

Then, as their marriage deteriorated, we saw them less and less, until finally they separated. Then we only saw this friend occasionally when he was passing through town- again, probably once every couple of months.

This once-every-few-months trend continued for quite some time, until the guy's dating life in his home town quickly dried up (partly because it's already slim pickings to begin with in such a small town, and partly because, well, turns out he's not so pleasant...but we'll come to that). Once the dating scene no longer had anything (or, anyone) to offer him, he began venturing over to our neck of the woods more and more.

Once a month.

Once every three weeks.

Now it's once every other week, sometimes more.

(And he's planning to move over here soon... sweet baby Jesus, help me)

Somewhere along the way, this trend developed where this friend would stop by on his way either in or out of town and I'd end up making dinner for him.

Then it quickly turned into an assumption that on his way back home every weekend he could stop by our house and get a free meal and a bottle of wine.

And then this past weekend, he showed up with all of his kids in tow- not having given us a heads up that all of them would be here, mind you- and assumed that I'd feed everyone.

I was...displeased, to say the least. On top of which, when he got here he dumped his kids off (without consulting me first) to go to the store to get wine (of course) and within five minuted of his children being here I was having to clean up pee in the guest bathroom because his children still can't seem to hit the toilet (and trust me, they are old enough to know better) (but at least this time they didn't pee in the corner of a room, or in the sink, or the garbage can, or a potted plant, or on each other... I kid you not...)

Anyway, I think that all of this- the assumptions, the taking for granted, the feeling slightly walked over- would be tolerable, except for this lovely little personality quirk that The Husband and I began to notice a couple of months ago.

The friend seems to live in this delusional, ironic world where he feels totally justified in making comments and offering advice on any and all topics, and meanwhile his life is an epic tornado of chaos and filth.

Erm...Seriously?!?

He has tried to give me parenting advice on how to teach my youngest son manners (which you just don't do, ask any parent!) all the while his children, as mentioned above, have no concept of manners, are barely potty trained when they are far too old to still be having issues with that, haven't been taught to wash their hands, shower, or have any sort of personal hygiene, and tear through anywhere they enter like it's a free-for-all bouncy house.

And really dude, you want to give me advice on how to teach my two year-old how to remember to say please and thank you?!? Are you kidding me?!? Step off, bro.

And not being biased, but my two year-old has better manners than any of your children, so focus on your own brood and keep your trap shut.

On top of this, he asks constantly if I'm still working out regularly (none of your freaking business, why do you care?), tells me that I need to not let my oldest son eat so much or else he'll be a fat kid (even though he's skinny as a rail and incredibly active, and this friend's kids are all pudgy), comments about and questions my husband's and my eating habits (even though this friend has gained quite a bit of weight lately, literally cannot cook, and wouldn't know a vegetable or whole grain if it hit him in the face), and constantly makes these snarky, belittling digs at my husband, which really pisses me off.

But the worst part?

This friend likes to throw around how much money he makes. Constantly. Like, any chance he gets to bring it up, he will.

He's also totally taking advantage of my husband (or trying at least), yet he acts like he's doing us this huge favor by hanging around.

All of it adds up to a total lack of tact, humility, and self-awareness. And I'm just done dealing with it.

I told my husband I don't want this guy coming around for awhile, because I'm sick of his shit. When he was here this past weekend, I literally had the urge to punch him in his smug face.

I can step back and psychologize the situation and see that this friend is genuinely unhappy in his life, and therefore is probably trying to tear us down in order to make himself feel better. But it's unnecessary, inappropriate, and I'm done dealing with it.

He's not God's gift to the business world.

He's not God's gift to the dating world.

I'm sorry, but he's not all that great as an overall person.

With him being suddenly so involved in our lives, I've realized (as has my husband) that he's not a very nice person after all. No wonder his wife was so miserable! If he makes these comments to me, I can only imagine the misogynistic crap he threw her way.

Post-visit blues

Not gonna lie, I'm bumming pretty hard right now.

My friend left to go home first thing this morning, and it always saddens me when our visits are over because they are usually so short. We grew up three houses down from each other, and now we only get to see each other a couple times a year at the most. It sucks a little bit.

Confession: after she left I may have crawled back in bed a little teary-eyed.

But!

Since she lives about four hours away now, and this is the closest we've lived to each other in, oh, 15 years, we plan to take full advantage of it. We were discussing trading off visits- she comes down one month, I go up there the next month- in order to see each other more frequently.

She's one of my most favorite-est people ever, and I miss her greatly, and it would be lovely to be more regularly involved in each other's lives.

Plus, I love Victoria, it's such a pretty city!

Right? Right?!?

So now life goes back to normal. I have a quiz to write for my Race and Ethnicity class that I've been putting off all week. I have laundry to do. And I have a bunch of TV shows to get caught up on since I've turned the TV on maybe twice this week total.

But first the quiz. Always the quiz.

Inking it up

So we are two days into having Age visit (she's sitting on the other end of the couch right now watching The Client List on her laptop) and so far I've been having fun visiting with her. (Hopefully she is too!)

Yesterday morning I had my GI appointment (that'll be a whole other post). Afterwards, we headed back to my town and roamed around the historical district for awhile, popping into kitschy antique stores and vintage clothing consignments and artsy fartsy co-op shops. There were a few vintage '60s dresses that I was madly in love with, but sadly they were either too big or too expensive, so I had to walk away. I'm obsessed with the style of the '60s and '70s, so I tend to gravitate towards those very distinct styles of clothes. I did come away with a cute flippy hippie skirt and a puffy outdoorsy vest, so that was a score, even if they're not even remotely the decades I was searching for.

Found something similar to this, only in
a mint tweed. Sah cyute!

Afterwards we headed to this cute little cafe that specializes in healthy, all natural, organic, locally sourced food. I love eating there, it makes me happy. They have a great salad bar, yummy homemade soups, and a delicious assortment of sandwiches and smoothies and juice blends. It was gooooood!

Then we headed home so I could get a bit of school work done before heading out again to go to my tattoo appointment.

I got three butterflies on my upper back- one customized for each of my kids. They're really pretty, and later on I'm going to get the background filled in around them, but for now I'm okay leaving them as is, because quite frankly, it hurt like a bitch! This one hurt way worse than my forearm, which surprised me a bit. But I was a big girl and got through it. I couldn't wimp out when Age was with me! I also got my forearm touched up, since there were a few spots that were a little uneven.

My sister went after me, and got her first tattoo- an interpretation of this little green monster drawing my son made when he was probably 6 or so. It's super cute and turned out really well. She's going to add on two other monsters for the other two kids once she has the inspiration for them.

Today, I need to refocus and get more school work done, and I also have to go get supplies for my daughter's birthday party this weekend.

There's no rest for the wicked. Even if their backs hurt from getting fresh ink!

Housewifery, Canadians, and tattoos

So my To Do list for this weekend keeps growing. And growing.

The weather is crappy, so no yard or garden work will be getting done, but that's okay, because my inside chores are enough to keep me plenty busy.

First, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Adrienne, is coming to visit on Tuesday, so I need to get my house absolutely spotless. Not that I need to impress her. I mean, we've been friends since we were almost five, so I'm pretty sure she won't judge me if my house isn't in museum shape. But still, my OCD requires that my house be as perfect as possible for guests. (Then again, I try to keep my house spiffy anyway for my own sanity, so I guess nothing's really new!) (A tidy house equals a tidy brain)

This is the first time Age will be visiting our new house. Well, I guess it's not that new, we've been here for over a year and a half, but she was living all the way across the continent until just recently, so her last visit was almost three years ago. I'm excited to get to spend some time with her. I feel like she makes me sane. While we have plenty of friends around here, she's the only one that I feel totally myself with. She's known me almost my whole life, and it's rare to have people in your life for that long. She's a peach!

Age is going to be here for the better part of the week, and while it sucks that the kids and I have school and The Husband has work, we'll still rock it! On Wednesday my sister and I have appointments to get tattoos, and Age is pretty much an expert in that field (*cough* cough* getthegypsytattooyouknowyouwantto *cough *cough*) so she's coming along for moral support. And I'm trying not-so-subtly (see above) to convince her to get one she's been thinking about for quite a while. She has her whole back and both sides done, but hey, there's always room for more!

This will be my second tattoo, and my sister's first, so we're both very excited about it. I'm a little nervous since I'm getting mine down my spine, and the pain factor is... unknown and intimidating. But I'm a big girl and didn't even flinch during my first one, so hopefully I won't be the sissy whimpering in the corner...

Besides that, Age will also be here for my daughter's birthday party next weekend, which is super awesome! She can help me plan and cook and decorate! Yay for free help friends!

I don't know what else we will end up doing this week, I think we'll just wing it. One of the nights we want to take her to our favorite restaurant, assuming we can get a sitter. Beyond that? Who knows!

Coinciding with Age's visit, spring quarter starts on Monday. However, the portal opened yesterday, so I'm going to try and get as much of the first week's homework done as quickly as possible. That way, I won't have much to do that will be interfering with actual, you know, fun stuff. Of course, this means that I need to get a move on, like, now.

Mother Nature can suck it

So the weather has been crap lately. Absolute crap. And I'm a little bitter about it!

It's like Mother Nature realized it was nearing the end of March and that she hadn't yet met her quota on snow, hail, wind, and torrential rain, and decided to make up for in it a 72 hour period.

Monday the boys were outside replanting some of the spruces that had been knocked over in the wind, and yesterday not only did the spruces get knocked down again, but so did the red maple.

And our greenhouse.

Yes. Our greenhouse got flipped over on it's side like it was a dinner table in Jersey, taking the huge wooden shelves that were inside with it. Needless to say it's severely damaged, and I'm disgruntled about it. When the greenhouse flew it also knocked down and broke the big wooden T-stand that held our tomato and strawberry Topsy Turvy's, and crushed the kids' kiddie pool (which they haven't used in quite awhile, but I'm still annoyed it's smashed to smithereens). So yeah, our yard looks like a tornado swept through, hence my bitterness.

But there is one thing that is keeping me from going completely postal and divorcing nature altogether.

Spring is here.

Mother Nature may be in denial, but she's a fickle bitch anyway, so her opinion matters little. It is still technically spring whether she likes it or not.

And spring means hiking!!!!!

I love hiking. I love being out amongst the trees, in the mountains, smelling the fresh air and listening to the birds and taking in the beauty that is Western Washington. It's where I find my peace.

Now, I'm not one of those hard core hikers whose sole goal is to make it to the top of the mountain as quickly as humanly possible.

*cough*cough*Age*cough*cough*

I prefer to take it a little slower and enjoy my surroundings.

I also enjoy being able to breathe, and as I learned the hard way this past summer, hiking with *certain* people (Kotyks) is like asking to be punched in the gut and have the wind knocked out of you for three hours straight, all while struggling to keep up with their ridiculous pace and simultaneously not make it too obvious that you're wishing for the sweet hand of death to release you from this misery.

Love you guys!

It's just that, I'm not in terrible shape, and yet I was still having my ass kicked. Like, totally, mercilessly, unabashedly handed to me.

And I expect Age to literally run circles around me. As previously mentioned, she's kind of a fitness goddess.

But I also got shown up by her dad. Who had just had OPEN HEART SURGERY a few months prior.

Yeah, to say it was demoralizing would be an understatement.

And their perspective?

"That was a nice walk, eh?"

Dude, you just climbed a world-renowned black diamond ski mountain in what I'm pretty sure is record time, and you consider that a "nice walk"?

Dear god I hope I never witness what they consider challenging...

But I digress.

There are several hikes that I am wanting to do this spring and summer. Some that I've already done and just want to do again, and others that I haven't done yet and am dying to go do.

Since we have kids, not all the hikes we do are hard core. Two of our favorite kid-friendly hikes are Lime Kiln and Old Robe Trail.

Saw blade on Lime Kiln

Lime Kiln is a beautiful hike, and isn't terribly difficult, so kids are more than able to come along. The trail starts out in lush, beautiful forest (beware of horse and dog droppings, not everyone is as courteous as they should be). It then opens up to some four-wheeler paths, which aren't as pretty (and are private property, so stay on the path). After awhile you turn left back onto a trail (and back onto public lands) and follow the trail down along the Stillaguamish River. Along the way you'll find relics from the mining days- saw blades, pots, a rusted-out stove, bricks, and various other weather-worn scraps. About two and a half miles in you'll come to the lime kiln. It's pretty cool, I must say! After that you continue on another mile or so before dropping down to the river, which is a perfect place to have a snack and relax (or if you are the intrepid hippies we came across last time, it's the perfect place to start tubing down the river half-naked).

The only indication there is a hiking trail there.

Old Robe Trail is in the same park as Lime Kiln, on the opposite end. It is a historical town site, and after dropping down the switch backs (which are not as easy on the knees as the site claims) you meander through a pleasant trail and along the Stillaguamish River. Washouts in the last few years have made the trail more difficult, so I would recommend only bringing older kids past the washout marker. After that, you are following the old railroad tracks. You have to scramble over a couple pretty sketchy slide areas, but once you do, you can follow the tracks through old railroad tunnels. It's pretty neat. We've never gone past the second tunnel though, as apparently it gets a little more dicey further down, and we've never felt comfortable taking the kids out there just in case. But I've always seen families hiking out there every time we've gone, so maybe it isn't as scary as we've been told.

Two of my personal faves so far are Heather Lake and Mount Pilchuck. Heather Lake is challenging, but still kid friendly. Mount Pilchuck is not kid friendly at all!

Heather Lake

Heather Lake is gorgeous! You are deep in old growth woods the entire time, and it has some breathtaking views. Definitely bring a camera! There's a little bit of switchbacks at the beginning, but then it is a straight trail after that. It's fairly steep, but our kids were able to do it (with plenty of rests and drinks of water). Once you get closer to the top, you are likely to encounter some late season snow- which the kids thought was the greatest thing ever! Shortly after that you come to the boardwalk that encircles the lake. Stop, rest, and enjoy the subalpine views!

Lookout Cabin- Mt. Pilchuck

Mount Pilchuck is by far my favorite hike. It's brutal, but it's amazing. It's also the place where I managed to hike the entire thing without incident and then rolled my ankle in the parking lot (as mentioned in my post about my tendency towards clumsiness!) This hike is no joke, and as the warning sign at the trail entry states, Search and Rescue gets called up there multiple times a season. If you're hiking it in summer, you should be fine, just follow the yellow dots and arrows painted on the rocks. But if there is any snow still on the ground? Be careful, please.

Ladder of death

The hike starts out in the forest, but after awhile you come to a rock field. This is the first of many, and I believe the fourth one marks the halfway point. The rocks starts out smallish and more jagged (perfect for a sliced knee), but as you ascend the rocks turn into boulders the size of cars. Towards the top you start to feel like you're on another planet. It's very cool! The rock fields are interspersed with dense forest and scrubby alpine meadows, and there are a few points where it's good to be fairly loud as you are in 6-foot tall brush that could very easily hide a bear. At the top you come to the final rock field, on the top of which a lookout cabin is perched. For someone who hates heights, this was the worst part for me- climbing the ladder to the cabin. You are literally perched on the very tippy-top of a very tall, very pointy mountain. It was terrifying. And awesome. Side note: make sure you hike it on a sunny day, otherwise the killer views are wasted!

I am also looking forward to doing some new hikes this year. Friends of ours recommended Iron Goat. I'm dying to do Hoh River, since you're hiking through the rain forests of the peninsula. And apparently the Enchantments is an amazing hike as well, though that requires a bit more travel time from my neck of the woods.

There is also this hike (I forget the name) but it's up in the North Cascades. It's very long and fairly difficult, but you hike through alpine meadows and rim one of the main glaciers up there and I'm DYING to go, but apparently it suffered some serious damage a few years back and I think it's closed for now until the WTA gets up there and makes it, you know, not a death trap. But it's calling me, so I plan to keep a lookout until it pops back up on the site again!

Couch to 5k

So I have this friend, Age. She's been my best friend since I was four (minus a brief spell where she chose to be friends with my arch-nemesis Amanda Dilling and the two would gang up on me and steal my shoes whenever I'd come over to play).

Inoright?!? Total douche move.

But we were, like, 11 or so? And all girls are douches at that age.

(Hence why I fear for when my daughter gets older...)

But I digress...

So this friend is kind of the ultimate badass. She's in denial about it, but it's totally true.

She has this platinum-blonde pixie cut (a look I could NEVER pull off), oodles of tattoos, an amazing personality, and drinks fancy-schmancy beer that no one has ever heard of but you feel cooler just because she's heard of it.

She's one of those people.

You know, people who are cool without obviously trying to be so.

People I simultaneously hate and want to be.

So anyway, this friend is also a huge health and fitness fanatic. I mean, it's literally her job, so it's probably good she subscribes to her own advice.

Her. The fitness queen.

She is the only person I know who has rock-hard abs. And I'm pretty sure her leg muscles could cripple me. She is in amazing shape, and she makes it look like it's nothing. (And she isn't one of those scary, overly-muscly, 'roided-out-looking chicks, either. She could break you in half and still look girlie doing it.)

She's also the classic over-acheiver, but again, without really trying.

Like, she works full time, is getting her Master's Degree, and oh yeah, I just totally went for a 30 km bike ride this morning before work, no biggie!

No, really, she does stuff like that. I swear she gets more done before I even get out of bed, than I even do in a day. It's ridiculous. I generally feel like a loser compared to her. Anyone should.

So this friend's one apparent weakness (and I mean, apparent only to her) is running. I guess she feels like it isn't her forte or something, which I don't understand, but whatevs.

So like anything else in her life, she sees a challenge, she overcomes it.

Well, not really overcomes it, more like kicks its sorry ass from here to next Tuesday.

So she is doing this Couch-to-5k training thing. And she wants me to do it with her. And I would love to, because mama needs to get in better shape. I don't really need to lose weight, per se, but I could certainly stand to tone up a bit, especially after three kids. I'd love to be a bad-ass before I turn 30.

But here's the thing.

I am the world's biggest procrastinator. Like, if it were an Olympic sport, I'd be the undefeated, world-record-holding, most medaled champion ever.

Me. The little turtle that could.

So clearly I'm having some troubles getting started. Right now I'm sick, so running isn't going to happen quite yet. Heck, walking is somewhat of a struggle right now. But once I'm better, I'd like to think that I'd start with the training. Because, really, it isn't even that hard of training, and I know that I am in better shape than I give myself credit for (not as good as my friend, but who is?!?).

But let's be realistic. I'm a slacker.

Well, maybe not a slacker, because I have three kids, am a full-time student, and still manage to run a tight ship and keep things somewhat orderly. But in my off time? Total slacker! (remember the Teen Mom 2 marathon...)

So I'll do my best, Age, but you'll need to kick my ass a little lot. Because only one of us can be the self-motivated awesome sauce. Me? I fill the role of the jaunty sidekick.