Not in on the joke

So life has been... a little nutso lately. In some ways, good. In other ways... well, see above.

As I discussed on here in a few previous posts, life has apparently had a sense of humor lately. Unfortunately, no one let me in on the joke.

First, the broken dishwasher saga really and truly turned into a saga. We just had it fixed this week for the FIFTH time. Yes. In the past seven weeks, my brand new dishwasher has worked for a total of about four days. I spent Thanksgiving hand washing dishes because the super-awesome customer service at B&B Appliance couldn't be bothered. I get it, they're probably super annoyed at us by now. But maybe if you fixed it the first damn time. Or the second... Or the third...

It got to the point where this past week we got our home builder involved. We only bought our appliances from this store because she convinced us of their stellar customer service and quick response time. We made it clear that has been anything but our experience, and reiterated what has been going on. She promised us (and yes, we got it in writing) that if this last time didn't fix it once and for all, she'd personally buy us a new dishwasher.

So we'll see what happens.

On top of that, Little One is sick again. For one, he has a double ear infection AGAIN (second time in under a month, poor dude). But the bigger issue is his tonsils. He has had overly-swollen tonsils for two years now, and no doctor, neither here nor back in Washington, took it seriously. I've taken him in to be seen several times, and every single time I was told that since he wasn't running a fever and they weren't impacting his ability to eat, breathe, or speak, they were fine for now.

Well, both ear infections he's had occurred without a fever. So clearly that's not necessarily a telling factor in my child's wellness.

And last week his tonsils suddenly poofed up so big that they were touching and he was talking like he had cotton shoved in his mouth. And he started snoring like a logger. And the right tonsil has this nasty vein running across it (I swear, it's like they're starting their own colony or something).

Finally, the doctor is taking me seriously.

Right now Little One is on uber-antibiotics to deal with the ear infection and to hopefully clear up whatever made his tonsils turn into monsters. Otherwise, it's looking like surgery. But, of course, we will have to make a separate appointment with a Ear, Nose, & Throat specialist. And because Wyoming has refused to acknowledge the Affordable Care Act, our insurance company is being... well, less than ideal.

So we're dealing with that.

There's really no stress like that of having a sick child. Especially when you're afraid he will stop breathing in his sleep.

In terms of work, my freelance writing has started taking off, though as they say, be careful what you wish for!

Two weeks ago I was hired to ghostwrite a two-part supernatural romance series. You know, fallen angels, ancient pacts, lost souls, the usual love story!

It's been a blast writing it so far. Much more fun than those medical articles I was doing for the difficult web clients. Who, by the way, pretty much fell into radio silence when I got sick last month.

(Did I forget to mention? I spent the first two weeks of November so sick with the flu that I couldn't get out of bed. It was the sickest I've been in years, and it was awful. Hubs got it after me, so he can attest that I wasn't just being a baby; it really was terrible.)

Anyway, so I haven't worked with those clients in awhile, and to be honest, I don't miss it. Writing this romance story has been so much less stressful, and has allowed be to exercise my creativity, rather than regurgitating dry medical data.

Well, this week I was invited to submit a proposal for another romance series, this one four parts. I was hesitant (hell, I'm still hesitant!) because the style of writing is much different than I'm used to, and the time frame is quite short. However, taking Tina Fey's advice, I went for it.

My proposal was accepted, and now it looks like I'll be ghostwriting two novel series! The first book of the current series is due by the end of January. The entirety of the second series (all four books) are due by the first week of February.

Suffice it to say I'm losing my mind a little bit. But in a good way. Mostly.

Finally, the biggest things we're dealing with right now is this little gem. Go ahead and take a sec to read it, I'll wait...

*twiddles thumbs*

*tries whistling*

*remembers can't whistle*

Oh you're back! So yeah, basically, powers beyond our control have essentially screwed us over. Like, big time.

After taking several days to process, we decided our plan of action was to try and sell our house before the drilling starts, because once it starts, the odds of someone wanting to buy right here drop significantly, to say the least.

If the house sells, we will rent a house in town for now, until we figure out where we are going to end up. Living in Cheyenne was never a long-term plan. It was only supposed to be for two or three years, and then we were going to find Hubs a new, fancy-schmancy job back in our beloved Seattle. However, his job here is really good, so it may keep us here longer than expected. Or not. We have no clue.

What we do know is that if we don't sell our house now, we will for sure be stuck here for several more years, until the drilling is done and property values increase enough to give us our value back.

If the house doesn't sell in the next month or so, we've accepted the fact that this means we're sticking it out here much longer than planned, and we'll just make the best of it at that point. We'll finish the basement, landscape the yard beautifully, develop the land more, build outbuildings, and basically make our 40 acres so damn desirable that the pump jacks won't deter buyers.

So besides spending my weekend working feverishly on my writing projects, finishing decorating for Christmas, attending my daughter's choir concert, and baking cookies, Hubs and I will be frantically getting our house ready to show. It went on the market last Thursday, and we have the photographer and countless local agents coming out on Tuesday to see the property. Gotta make it snazzy before then!

Because, you know, no pressure.

Like I said, life has a sense of humor. It'd just be nice to be in on the joke.

Not to be obnoxious, but...

I know. I'm sorry. I hate to be that annoying, braggy parent. But I'm a very proud mama today, so I'm just going with the bragitude. You've been warned.

My son is in 5th grade this year, but he has been taking 6th grade math. We just found out yesterday that, based on his grades, testing scores, and achievement levels, he has been accepted into the Honors Pre-Algebra class for next year, which means he will be taking math at the Junior High, even though he will only be in 6th grade. 

That whole thing is pretty cool, and makes me braggy enough as it is, but there's more.

If this Honors class goes well and he remains on the advanced track, he will begin earning high school credit for math… in 7th grade.

Yes. Algebra I is the beginning of the high school math credits, and that is the class that follows Honors Pre-Algebra. That means that by the time he is a senior in high school, the district will have run out of traditional math offerings for him. He'll have completed them all.

So, like I said, proud mama!!!

I wonder if I can start having him balance my checkbook for me…? Does weekly allowance cover menial budgetary tasks?

Why I Chose to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom

Here is the second article from a couple weeks ago.

Ferklemped

Grab the kleenex before reading this… You've been warned…

Christmas coma anyone?

Hey hey!

Happy Friday After Christmas!

I hope everyone's holiday was happy, safe, and blessed.

Mine was quite lovely. We didn't have the White Christmas I was hoping for, as the snow we got Christmas Eve morning was half-hearted at best, but it was wonderful nonetheless.

My house is still in post-Christmas shambles, but I'll work on it bit by bit. I refuse to feel any pressure, man. I'm just digging the vacation!

I've been done with fall quarter for almost a week now, and it's been absolutely divine. I always forget what it feels like to take a deep breath until school ends!

Of course, I'm already stressing over winter quarter and my increased class load, but I'm trying to ignore it for now and just enjoy my break. Plus, two of my three classes have low enrollment, so unless people start signing up fast, they may get cancelled, leaving me having to either scramble for two new electives, or delaying my graduation by a quarter. Which will… piss me off, to say the least.

But I'm letting Future Sarah deal with that!

Current Sarah has more important things to do!

Today's plan? Watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with the kids, make paper beads with my daughter, and do a thorough post-Christmas vacuuming. I also have a couple of Yahoo! articles to work on.

I also intend to work on organizing the basement more, making a Goodwill run, and doing some general cleaning. But all that will happen in good time.

For now?

A lesson in futility... and bribery

Potty training.

It's probably the bane of every parent's existence.

It's a stressful, exhausting period of time when every trip to the store, red light, traffic jam, or busy restroom is cause for a mild panic attack.

And there is no "magic formula" because every kid is different.

Some master it in a couple of weeks. Others make you feel like you'll be sending them to school in diapers.

With my oldest, he never had a pee accident (besides aiming issues), but the logistics of choosing between standing to pee and sitting to poop resulted in a few... unpleasant surprises.

With my daughter, she never had a poop accident, because the thought horrified her. However, she would wait until the very last possible second before heading to the potty, and several pee accidents resulted.

With my youngest... well, we're still working at it. Things were going so well a few months ago. And then... I don't know. He lost interest. He'll ask to use the potty immediately after going in his diaper. No matter how many times I ask him if he needs to go, or have him sit and try, he just... won't. All diaper, all the time.

Le sigh.

Because there's nothing like futility.

So what have I decided to do? Well I'm going to take a page out of the Bad Parenting Manual and resort to bribery.

Yes, that's right folks. I need something to act as an incentive, something to ignite his interest in potty training.

And that something is M&Ms.

Step aside, ma'am, we'll take it from here

One for a successful pee. Two for a successful poop. (Get it, get it?!?)

Because I'm sick of diapers. He's almost three-and-a-half. I want the diapers to go away. And I'm going to find whatever way works to make that happen.

Parent Of The Year, over here.

Hey, it could be worse!

(That picture never fails to crack me up)

There isn't enough caffeine in the world...

Life has been a bit... stressful... over the last couple of weeks. And this week it's going to get a whole lot more so (but in more of a good way).

So I mentioned about a week and a half ago about the absolute shit day I was having. I'd been feeling ill, our apartment had come under assault by a airborne chunk of concrete, and then to top it all off, it was looking like our mortgage was going to fall through because of some stupid seven-and-a-half-year-old medical debt that was less than half of a percentage of the purchase price of the house we are building.

We have also disputed this debt in the past, the credit bureaus themselves have disputed the debt, and I also have a payment stub from seven years ago showing that one of the debts they have listed was already paid in full! So clearly things are not on the up and up.

We tried contacting the company holding the debt, and they were, well, awful, to put it mildly. They not only wanted the entire amount of the debt listed (despite the fact that part of it was paid years ago and the credit bureaus dispute that rest is even ours), but they also wanted to tack on other debt that they claimed they had of ours (even though it didn't show up on our credit and they admitted they couldn't prove it was ours in the first place). On top of that, they refused to give us anything in writing saying the debt would have been paid off and they refused to remove it from our credit even if we paid the entire amount of NOT OUR debt.

Shady, shady, shady.

We actually looked up this company, and apparently, this is what they do. They have been sued many times because of it. They buy old debts from other, more legit collection companies, they pool the debts into one big group, then assign them randomly to people. They don't actually pay off the debts with the money they collect, they don't follow collection regulations, and the fact that they are still in business is mind-boggling to me.

So we called the mortgage guy we had been working with and told him what was going on, thinking he would be understanding and be willing to work around this hiccup. Especially since we have such a large down payment ready to go.

Nope.

He refused to move forward on our mortgage without that final debt being removed from our credit. Never mind the fact that it is over seven years old and shouldn't even be on our credit anymore anyway. Never mind the fact that I had records of paying the debt they were claiming we owed. Never mind the fact that we had records of the credit bureaus trying to remove this debt from our credit and this company refusing. And never mind the fact that this company is involved in illegal collection practices, hadn't contacted us over these supposedly important debts, and the amount they claimed we owed would have in no way impacted our ability to pay our bills.

Dude was just an ass. Plain and simple.

So after a day or two of feeling really down, watching our dreams crumble over something that should never have been an issue in the first place (I mean, we already bought one house for crissake, and this debt would have been on there then, and it didn't matter!), we decided to rally.

I'm not a quitter. I never have been.

If there is a way to make it work, by God I'm going to find it.

So I did!

We contacted our previous mortgage broker in Washington and explained the situation to him, and he actually laughed out loud at how ridiculous it all was! He said that no, this debt should never have mattered in the first place, given its age AND the documented history of trying to address it. He said that any mortgage broker worth their salt knows that this particular collection agency is a total scam and is generally just ignored. He said that if he were our broker, he could 99.99% guarantee us the mortgage.

Unfortunately, he's not licensed in Wyoming.

Le sigh.

But we found someone in the same parent company that is! And he also thought the crap we had been put through was insane. And he also guaranteed us it wouldn't be an issue and that he could get the mortgage through underwriting without a hitch. And he said that given how good our credit is, we qualify for the best government loans available, which means lower interest rates, which is pretty sweet.

So we are back on track.

We fired the douchebag mortgage guy, and our real estate agent, Mike, has even ceased recommending people to him because of all this. Mike said this guy used to be really good and go out of his way for his mortgage customers, but lately he's been all about the money, charging higher interest rates for no reason other than the added profit, not being willing to work around any hiccup in someone's credit (even though almost all people have a hiccup or two), not answering or returning phone calls, and just being an arrogant jerk in general. Mike said our situation with him was the last straw. If this guy wasn't even able to help someone with as good of credit and as much of a down payment as we have, he doesn't deserve Mike's business.

I concur!

So we got that settled. I will still be a little nervous, because nothing is ever certain until it is complete. So until we have signed papers and have those keys in our hands, I'll be a little antsy. But we can resume being excited about our house. And that's a good feeling.

So that was why the past couple of weeks have been stressful.

This coming week is a whole other, albeit more tolerable, ball game.

The kids start school on Tuesday. They will be attending the school that is just down the road from our future house, which will be super convenient once we're living there.

Until then, however? Logistical nightmare.

Right now we live almost an hour away. And we have to plan for morning traffic heading north. The plan for the next couple of months is for The Husband to take the kids to school on his way to work, and then pick them up after school and bring them home when he's done. The hour and a half between school getting out and Husband's work being done, the kids will hang out in his office and do homework.

This is the most sensible plan, though it isn't the most desirable. We decided it doesn't make sense for both of us to be driving back and forth from Fort Collins to Cheyenne every day. The gas budget would absolutely explode!!!

BUT...

This week? The Husband is in meetings all week for a huge conversion they're working on at the hospital.

Which means that I have to take the kids and pick them up all week. I was originally planning on going for the open house and the first day of school, obviously, but now it's an all week thing. And I weep for my gas consumption!

We decided that I'd just plan ahead, bring snacks and toys and all the necessary provisions, and we'd all drive together in the morning, drop The Husband off at work on the way to the school, and then me and Monkey would just hang out in Cheyenne all day.

All. Freaking. Day.

Cheyenne's great and all. But there's only so much to do! And I'll have eight hours every day to kill. I think we will be spending a lot of time at the many parks in town.

BUT!

The trusses for the roof of our house began going up on Friday! Which means the framing will be done very shortly! Which means we will get to meet with the builder to do our framing walk through and pick out everything for the house!

Cabinets. Countertops. Flooring. Finishes. Appliances.

I'm hoping we will get to do that this week.

Because, really?!? Otherwise it's going to be a long, boring week...

Apparently Louis C.K. hasn't spend much time in Cheyenne...

Spontaneous Saturday

So yesterday began as any old "I have this to do" day, but turned into quite a fun family day.

Spontaneity. It's a good thing.

Starting out, I had planned to go hit up the paint store and grab some paint chips in order to get an idea of which colors we liked and what would go well with the carpet and flooring we had picked out earlier in the week.

However, that got more complicated when we swung by Home Depot first and ended up changing our minds regarding the carpet choice and the potential flooring choice.

Sigh.

Too. Many. Choices.

We actually found a carpet we liked better- a couple shades darker, more plush, still well within budget. So that was good.

But in finding that, I began to question our flooring choice. Was it too dark? Did it have too much red in it? Would it clash with our potential cabinet choices (to be determined in about a week and a half)?

So we headed back to the wood flooring and began hemming and hawing over the bajillion options.

We left with about six or seven samples, because we couldn't decide...

We then swung by the Sherwin Williams store, and my brain momentarily broke. When you find yourself standing in front of an entire wall of paint chips, it's like your brain just goes "NOPE!"

We laid out the carpet and flooring samples, and then began pulling colors and holding them against our flooring choices. Right away we were able to remove three of the flooring choices from the running. Away from the artificial light of Home Depot, we realized that two of our samples were way too light and one was way too yellow.

So that narrowed it down.

We then just sort of went with our gut and picked out colors that we knew would go with our existing furniture and decor. Back at our old house in Washington, I had been planning on painting the main walls a toasted almond color, with an accent wall in a rich, deep red. So, lacking creativity, we went with that same game plan for the house down here.

Stick with what you know, I guess.

The colors we chose also look good with the carpet choice, as well as the four remaining floor samples that we are still debating on. After the house is framed- which should be this week, weather permitting- we are going to meet with the builder and the cabinet guy and pick out the cabinets, countertops, and tile. That will help us choose a wood flooring that looks good with it all, and then we will be able to get everything ordered and have accomplished a huge chunk of the To Do list.

Phew...

So after settling on the paint colors, we decided to head up the road and explore Old Town Fort Collins.

It's so cute!!!

Apparently, the main thoroughfare was the inspiration for Disneyland's Mainstreet USA.

Yeah, that's how cute it is.

Right?!?

Tree-lined streets. Cafes, bistros, art installations, super cute boutiques, yummy restaurants, street performers, hippies, tourists, families. It's a fun mish-mash of all walks of life, all forms of expression, and a fun dose of Americana.

It was quite lovely to stroll along the streets, window shopping, actual shopping, and people-watching.

It reminded me of my favorite city of all- Nelson, B.C.

God I miss Nelson. Must plan a visit there in the near future.

So after our stroll through Old Town, we were headed back home when I spontaneously decided to head out to Horsetooth Reservoir and Horsetooth Mountain Park instead.

So beautiful up there!

The red rocks and the green vegetation- stunning! And we were heading up there as the sun was starting to sink lower on the horizon, so the colors were amazing.

Not only did we find a new place to hike, we may have also found the site of our future cabin!

Culinary creativity

So lately... as in the past several months... I've been in somewhat of a cooking rut.

Like, big time.

Between the kids' school schedule, my school demands, and the daily comings and goings of life in general, creative cooking gave way to old favorites. Same ol' same ol'. Yummy, but boring and predictable!

But since it is summer time, and since I lack much else to do since moving to a new state and not yet feeling established here, I have branched out and began experimenting with some new recipes.

Last week, I made jambalaya for the first time.

Mine didn't look this good :-(

To be honest, I didn't like it. The Husband, and my two boys did. My daughter and I... not so much.

It wasn't that it tasted bad or anything. For my daughter, I think she just found it too spicy. For me, I found it a little dry, and it was lacking something- something I couldn't put my finger on. So I'm going to find a new recipe and try again.

Yesterday was much different. I made a Four-Cheese Penne, and holy crap balls it was delicious!!!

Granted, for someone who is sensitive to dairy, it wasn't the smartest choice, per se. But it was super yummy all the same. It just requires a little portion control- both for the extreme amount of cheese in it, and for the simple fact that it is crazy high in calories and sodium. I made steamed broccoli to go with it, in an attempt to beef up the health factor of the meal. And I just have a deep love of steamed broccoli!

Crazy delicious!!!

Tonight, I'm going for something quite a bit healthier. Chicken and Roasted Veggies. In the crock pot! (I haven't used my crock pot in... years)

I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight

I'm using chicken breasts, rather than thighs, because I find chicken thighs repulsive. I also added extra gravy to it, because I added extra potatoes, so I figured it should balance out (hopefully). This recipe has less than half the calories of the penne dish, as well as less than half the sodium content. And the addition of veggies is always a plus in my book!

I may make some homemade bread to go with it, but I haven't decided yet.

I'll let you know how it turns out!

Both the chicken and penne recipes came from this little Casserole & Slow Cooker cookbook I grabbed one day in the check-out line at the grocery store. And then proceeded to forget about. For years.

Upon moving, I rediscovered it in my stacks of cookbooks, and the rest is history!

Yummy, easy, cheap, and family-friendly recipes? Score!

Navigating the parent trap

My last post shared an article about that moment when you see your kids as they are; when you realize where you are in life, and you have that singular, acute moment of parental and personal clarity.

The thing that article didn't mention, though, is that this happens far more frequently. These little moments are not a once-per-decade occurrence. Hell, I have them a couple times a week, at least!

It's true, most of your parenting time consists of something akin to herding cats. You're running around in circles, trying to keep the peace; reminding the youngest one to keep their hands to themselves and use their words and not their fists; reminding the oldest one to speak kindly and stop bossing the others around like they're minions; and keeping the middle one from using her pillow as a weapon when her brothers piss her off for the zillionth time today.

In short, daily life is chaos. It's hectic. It's challenging. And some days you feel like an utter failure and want nothing more than to crawl back in bed, curl up in a ball under the blankets, and imagine yourself on a sandy beach sipping a very strong tropical cocktail (or three).

But in between those moments of Are-You-Freaking-Kidding-Me-What-Made-You-Think-Climbing-The-Refridgerater-Was-A-Good-Idea, there are moments of joy, beauty, and utter parental pride.

And yes, that occasional clarity where you see your children as individuals with unique personalities and relatable stages in life (as opposed to vindictive hell spawns seeking to make you crazy one "quit touching my Legos" argument at a time).

I have three children- Bug, Sweet Pea, and Monkey.

(Not their real names, obviously. I'm a hippie, yes, but not quite to that level!)

Bug is my oldest. In terms of personality, he is the most like me. He's very sensitive and academic. He loves to read, he has an insatiable appetite for knowledge, and dreams of being an architect or engineer when he grows up. He loves nature and being outdoors. He has a very high intellect, and he knows it, which makes for confidence and success in the advanced classes, as well as an insufferable know-it-all tendency (we're working on that). Lately, it's like he has suddenly become this childlike grown-up. I find myself being able to relate to him on a more mature level. We can have full conversations about geology or recycling or global warming or the sneaky intentions of marketing. Certain things he says, as well as certain actions and characteristics, floor me on a regular basis because they make him seem so grown up. At times he is all child. Other moments, total teenager. It's weird and heartbreaking and fun and emotionally trying all at the same time.

Oh yeah, and he started puberty. And that's been a real hoot...

Sweet Pea is my middle child. She was born premature, but is now the picture of health and vitality, though I still worry sometimes. She loves animals (like, straight up Little Miss Dr. Doolittle). She is funny, goofy, a show-off, and very artistic. She loves to draw and craft and create. She possesses a sheer joy for life that I admire and hope she holds on to as she grows up. She is athletic (she gets that from her daddy!) and confident in her physical abilities, but is also very timid and sensitive. She is wicked smart but still questions her academic abilities. We are working to build her up in that manner, but she still compares herself to her brother and has a hard time understanding that he is older and therefore farther along in school. She dreams of being a paleontologist and a veterinarian, simultaneously. She is also sassy as all hell. And beautiful. Daddy is going to need to invest in a shotgun as she approaches middle school! She is still young, yet I occasionally see glimpses of who she will be when she is older. Certain things she says and does are so teen-like that it freaks me out. She and I are also the most different in terms of personality, so I know that we will have our mother-daughter struggles as she gets older. I dread her teen years...

Monkey is my baby. Only he's not a baby anymore. It feels like he is growing up too quickly- I think he's trying to catch up to his older siblings. He is all boy- rambunctious, wild, physical. He loves to run and jump and climb and yell and tumble and explore. He has no fear, which of course instills fear in me! He looks the most like me, to an eerie degree. I can't yet tell whose personality he takes after the most, but he is very sweet and loving and kind. He loves animals just as much as his sister. He is intelligent and sensitive, but also adventurous and a little crazy. I think he'll be the one to end up spending a night or two in jail! But for something silly, like streaking through a football game, or tagging a building with an invite to prom, or some other impulsive dare-type stunt. He's also a ladies man already. I'm already working on my best glowering stare for the hordes of chicks he'll bring home that I will inevitably disapprove of.

Like any parent, I have my fears for my children. Besides the obvious fears of illness, injury, and outside threats, I also have individualized concerns for each of them. For my oldest, I worry about his social interactions. It's not easy being the smartest kid in the class, and I worry about him being picked on, teased, or bullied. For my daughter, I worry because she is very pretty, and also has the makings of the "popular girl". Girls are cruel, and I know firsthand just how murky and twisty Girl World is. I hope my sensitive baby girl doesn't get crushed by that world. For my youngest, I worry for his safety, as he is still very young. I also worry because he is so impulsive and outgoing- I don't want him getting hurt, getting in trouble, or getting into the wrong crowd.

My children can be mentally and emotionally trying, but they are also my greatest source of joy. Their spontaneous creativity, their joie de vivre, their genuine and unconditional love- they are amazing. I'm proud to be their mommy. And like any parent, I just hope I don't screw them up too badly!

Any parent can relate to this...

The Sweet Spot of parenting. That place where your children are big and little all at the same time. Big enough to participate in the daily goings on of life, but little enough to still want you around!

It's wonderful, and fleeting, and frustrating, and sad, and full of joy and laughter and fun.

Hold on while you can, it doesn't last long!

Greetings from the other side... of the Rockies

Hey hey! I'm back from the abyss.

And by abyss, I mean the internet-less world of moving.

Man has it been crazy lately. Like, mind-bogglingly so. I find it hard to believe that we left Washington only a week and a half ago, it feels like longer (and shorter all at the same time).

So here I am, in a new state, in a new time zone, in a sort of temporary limbo whilst I await our house being built.

The OCD organizational side of me? Not loving it.

The hippie, gypsy, free-spirited side of me? Going with the flow, man.

Cause really? That's all I can do right now.

I'm a little bitter, because the apartment we're renting until our house is done doesn't allow satellite dishes to be put up, so we had to suspend our DIRECTV service for a few months and go with Comcast.

And to be clear: I. Hate. Comcast.

Why, you ask? Because they suck. Exhibit A? The fact that our DVR doesn't work. At all. I can't record anything. I can't pause, rewind, etc. I can't enter in any favorites. Nothing. I get an error message saying that the DVR function is disabled and to call customer service.

And when we called to figure out what was going on, the stupid customer service rep said it was just because we weren't pressing the buttons on the remote hard enough.

Let me repeat.

Our DVR isn't functional, everything we try to do is met with an error message, and we were told it was because we weren't pressing buttons hard enough.

Special kind of stupid, I tell ya.

So after several more phone calls, we finally have a tech coming out on Thursday. I guess my reality TV escapism will have to wait...

Otherwise known as the Real Housewives of somewhere or other

"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way..."

So life has been... hectic lately. To say the least.

That whole 'preparing to move halfway across the country while simultaneously trying to maintain the rest of my life responsibilities' thing.

You know. No biggie, right?

Of course right.

So the first big part of this last week (or the only truly news-worthy part, anyway) is that... WE SOLD OUR HOUSE!!!!

Inoright?!?

It was listed for a whole four hours, which is nuts. All I can say is thank God for a seller's market!

And the fact that we've owned it for 20 months and managed to make a profit? Amazing. Granted, we're not walking away millionaires by any means, but still. That's a major obstacle that we can take off our To Do list, and that's a huge sigh of relief!

(Of course, now we have to find a new place to live... 1800 miles away... no prob, right?... right?!?)

Beyond that, trying to balance my end-of-the-quarter school craziness, the kids' end-of-the-school-year chaos, keeping my house from spiraling into a tsunami of clutter, and not having a mental breakdown in the process has been... tricky at best.

Who's idea was this again?

Mine!?

Oh that's right.

Crap.

The irony of accidentally ending up moving halfway across the country... Only I could manage something like that.

Overall, I am getting excited about the move. Stressed beyond belief. Losing weight. Losing sleep. Overwhelmed and slightly panicky. But excited nonetheless!

I think it will be fun to see a new part of the country, to explore places I wouldn't otherwise get to see as easily, and to make new memories and share this experience with my kids (although my daughter has convinced herself that a posse of rattlesnakes is awaiting her, and I can't convince her otherwise!) I am looking forward to the opportunities and adventures awaiting us in Cheyenne.

I'm also wishing I could Go-Go-Gadget Magic Packing Machine my house.

No offense, but you suck as a person

First of all, I just wanted to say that I'm in a much better headspace today. I spent a few days bouncing around inside my brain, and quite frankly, it's a dark and scary place in there!

Lorelei understands

But I've emerged, none worse for the wear.

Granted, I'm still nervous and anxious about Friday, but not in a fetal-position-whimpering-reassuringly-whispering-to-myself kind of way. More in a "alright, fine, let's just do the damned thing" kind of way.

So here we are. Tuesday. Under-caffeinated. Coming down with a cold. Behind in this week's school work. Could really go for a nap.

But instead, I'm going to vent for a sec, then go back to reading about Hinduism for my World Religion's class.

So ever have one of those friends that seem great at first, but then the more you get to know them and the more they come around, the more you realize you actually don't like them as a human being and their presence makes you want to rip your face off?

Yeah.

I'm having that sort of thing happening right now.

Only it's not my friend, it's The Husband's friend.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those jealous, controlling harpies that's just pissed her man is hanging out with someone other than her. No, no.

Even my husband has grown weary of this friend.

See, here's the situation...

So for awhile, this friend was married and doing the whole work/family/spouse thing, and we saw them maybe every two or three months. And that was totally fine. They seemed pleasant enough, and we had a good time hanging out (besides the fact that their children were horribly behaved and would never leave my house without having destroyed something first, and the wife couldn't hold a conversation, which was challenging).

Then, as their marriage deteriorated, we saw them less and less, until finally they separated. Then we only saw this friend occasionally when he was passing through town- again, probably once every couple of months.

This once-every-few-months trend continued for quite some time, until the guy's dating life in his home town quickly dried up (partly because it's already slim pickings to begin with in such a small town, and partly because, well, turns out he's not so pleasant...but we'll come to that). Once the dating scene no longer had anything (or, anyone) to offer him, he began venturing over to our neck of the woods more and more.

Once a month.

Once every three weeks.

Now it's once every other week, sometimes more.

(And he's planning to move over here soon... sweet baby Jesus, help me)

Somewhere along the way, this trend developed where this friend would stop by on his way either in or out of town and I'd end up making dinner for him.

Then it quickly turned into an assumption that on his way back home every weekend he could stop by our house and get a free meal and a bottle of wine.

And then this past weekend, he showed up with all of his kids in tow- not having given us a heads up that all of them would be here, mind you- and assumed that I'd feed everyone.

I was...displeased, to say the least. On top of which, when he got here he dumped his kids off (without consulting me first) to go to the store to get wine (of course) and within five minuted of his children being here I was having to clean up pee in the guest bathroom because his children still can't seem to hit the toilet (and trust me, they are old enough to know better) (but at least this time they didn't pee in the corner of a room, or in the sink, or the garbage can, or a potted plant, or on each other... I kid you not...)

Anyway, I think that all of this- the assumptions, the taking for granted, the feeling slightly walked over- would be tolerable, except for this lovely little personality quirk that The Husband and I began to notice a couple of months ago.

The friend seems to live in this delusional, ironic world where he feels totally justified in making comments and offering advice on any and all topics, and meanwhile his life is an epic tornado of chaos and filth.

Erm...Seriously?!?

He has tried to give me parenting advice on how to teach my youngest son manners (which you just don't do, ask any parent!) all the while his children, as mentioned above, have no concept of manners, are barely potty trained when they are far too old to still be having issues with that, haven't been taught to wash their hands, shower, or have any sort of personal hygiene, and tear through anywhere they enter like it's a free-for-all bouncy house.

And really dude, you want to give me advice on how to teach my two year-old how to remember to say please and thank you?!? Are you kidding me?!? Step off, bro.

And not being biased, but my two year-old has better manners than any of your children, so focus on your own brood and keep your trap shut.

On top of this, he asks constantly if I'm still working out regularly (none of your freaking business, why do you care?), tells me that I need to not let my oldest son eat so much or else he'll be a fat kid (even though he's skinny as a rail and incredibly active, and this friend's kids are all pudgy), comments about and questions my husband's and my eating habits (even though this friend has gained quite a bit of weight lately, literally cannot cook, and wouldn't know a vegetable or whole grain if it hit him in the face), and constantly makes these snarky, belittling digs at my husband, which really pisses me off.

But the worst part?

This friend likes to throw around how much money he makes. Constantly. Like, any chance he gets to bring it up, he will.

He's also totally taking advantage of my husband (or trying at least), yet he acts like he's doing us this huge favor by hanging around.

All of it adds up to a total lack of tact, humility, and self-awareness. And I'm just done dealing with it.

I told my husband I don't want this guy coming around for awhile, because I'm sick of his shit. When he was here this past weekend, I literally had the urge to punch him in his smug face.

I can step back and psychologize the situation and see that this friend is genuinely unhappy in his life, and therefore is probably trying to tear us down in order to make himself feel better. But it's unnecessary, inappropriate, and I'm done dealing with it.

He's not God's gift to the business world.

He's not God's gift to the dating world.

I'm sorry, but he's not all that great as an overall person.

With him being suddenly so involved in our lives, I've realized (as has my husband) that he's not a very nice person after all. No wonder his wife was so miserable! If he makes these comments to me, I can only imagine the misogynistic crap he threw her way.

Inking it up

So we are two days into having Age visit (she's sitting on the other end of the couch right now watching The Client List on her laptop) and so far I've been having fun visiting with her. (Hopefully she is too!)

Yesterday morning I had my GI appointment (that'll be a whole other post). Afterwards, we headed back to my town and roamed around the historical district for awhile, popping into kitschy antique stores and vintage clothing consignments and artsy fartsy co-op shops. There were a few vintage '60s dresses that I was madly in love with, but sadly they were either too big or too expensive, so I had to walk away. I'm obsessed with the style of the '60s and '70s, so I tend to gravitate towards those very distinct styles of clothes. I did come away with a cute flippy hippie skirt and a puffy outdoorsy vest, so that was a score, even if they're not even remotely the decades I was searching for.

Found something similar to this, only in
a mint tweed. Sah cyute!

Afterwards we headed to this cute little cafe that specializes in healthy, all natural, organic, locally sourced food. I love eating there, it makes me happy. They have a great salad bar, yummy homemade soups, and a delicious assortment of sandwiches and smoothies and juice blends. It was gooooood!

Then we headed home so I could get a bit of school work done before heading out again to go to my tattoo appointment.

I got three butterflies on my upper back- one customized for each of my kids. They're really pretty, and later on I'm going to get the background filled in around them, but for now I'm okay leaving them as is, because quite frankly, it hurt like a bitch! This one hurt way worse than my forearm, which surprised me a bit. But I was a big girl and got through it. I couldn't wimp out when Age was with me! I also got my forearm touched up, since there were a few spots that were a little uneven.

My sister went after me, and got her first tattoo- an interpretation of this little green monster drawing my son made when he was probably 6 or so. It's super cute and turned out really well. She's going to add on two other monsters for the other two kids once she has the inspiration for them.

Today, I need to refocus and get more school work done, and I also have to go get supplies for my daughter's birthday party this weekend.

There's no rest for the wicked. Even if their backs hurt from getting fresh ink!

Housewifery, Canadians, and tattoos

So my To Do list for this weekend keeps growing. And growing.

The weather is crappy, so no yard or garden work will be getting done, but that's okay, because my inside chores are enough to keep me plenty busy.

First, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Adrienne, is coming to visit on Tuesday, so I need to get my house absolutely spotless. Not that I need to impress her. I mean, we've been friends since we were almost five, so I'm pretty sure she won't judge me if my house isn't in museum shape. But still, my OCD requires that my house be as perfect as possible for guests. (Then again, I try to keep my house spiffy anyway for my own sanity, so I guess nothing's really new!) (A tidy house equals a tidy brain)

This is the first time Age will be visiting our new house. Well, I guess it's not that new, we've been here for over a year and a half, but she was living all the way across the continent until just recently, so her last visit was almost three years ago. I'm excited to get to spend some time with her. I feel like she makes me sane. While we have plenty of friends around here, she's the only one that I feel totally myself with. She's known me almost my whole life, and it's rare to have people in your life for that long. She's a peach!

Age is going to be here for the better part of the week, and while it sucks that the kids and I have school and The Husband has work, we'll still rock it! On Wednesday my sister and I have appointments to get tattoos, and Age is pretty much an expert in that field (*cough* cough* getthegypsytattooyouknowyouwantto *cough *cough*) so she's coming along for moral support. And I'm trying not-so-subtly (see above) to convince her to get one she's been thinking about for quite a while. She has her whole back and both sides done, but hey, there's always room for more!

This will be my second tattoo, and my sister's first, so we're both very excited about it. I'm a little nervous since I'm getting mine down my spine, and the pain factor is... unknown and intimidating. But I'm a big girl and didn't even flinch during my first one, so hopefully I won't be the sissy whimpering in the corner...

Besides that, Age will also be here for my daughter's birthday party next weekend, which is super awesome! She can help me plan and cook and decorate! Yay for free help friends!

I don't know what else we will end up doing this week, I think we'll just wing it. One of the nights we want to take her to our favorite restaurant, assuming we can get a sitter. Beyond that? Who knows!

Coinciding with Age's visit, spring quarter starts on Monday. However, the portal opened yesterday, so I'm going to try and get as much of the first week's homework done as quickly as possible. That way, I won't have much to do that will be interfering with actual, you know, fun stuff. Of course, this means that I need to get a move on, like, now.

Lunatic salad with a side of crazy sauce

Holy geez.

Just when you think things can't any busier or weirder, life has a way of showing you up.

Sigh...

So first of all, cat ownership is proving to be challenging for my patience today. I think he's pissed we were gone all day yesterday, so he's gone completely mental today to make a point. And if I have to clean up any more spilled tea or pick up any more knocked over lamps, I may just lock him in kitty jail for the rest of the afternoon (and by kitty jail, I mean the little bathroom where his litter box is stashed). Because grrr.

So yesterday we were out of town all day because we had to head across the state to address some health concerns that my mother-in-law has been ignoring for far too long, and basically 'intervention-ed' her about it because her children are genuinely worried. My mother-in-law and I don't really have the warm-and-fuzziest relationship, so I was mostly just there for moral support for The Husband. I don't think anything I would have added to the conversation would have been absorbed anyway, so I just kept quiet. I am thinking about commissioning my health-expert friend to come up with a heart-healthy diet for her, though. Because despite our frosty relationship, it's not like I'm hoping she kicks the bucket any time soon (contrary to popular opinion, my cold black heart isn't quite that cold and black) (sshhhh, don't tell anyone).

Besides all of that, this week has also been crazy for a whole other reason. So awhile back I mentioned our crazy prepper neighbors with their guns and guard dogs and chain link fence. Well, it turns out maybe they aren't the scary ones after all (at least, in the grand scheme of things).

(Although, side note, they ended up forgoing the chain link fence in favor of a tension cable fence. Like, what they used for the dinosaur paddocks in Jurassic Park. Yeah. Not as ugly as chain link, but still...)

Anyway, we have this other neighbor, let's call him Crazy E for the purposes of this post. Crazy E has been well known by our entire neighborhood for being... well, a little whacked. When you first meet him he seems all friendly and jovial and whatnot, but after one conversation with him you realize that he's the "I caught a fish fourteen feet long... but I threw it back" kind of guy. He tells tall tales.

Okay, fine, that's harmless enough. Liar, liar, pants on fire, but at least it makes for entertaining stories.

Only... after chatting with him more than once or twice, you quickly begin to glean that something isn't right with him. First of all, he gives off a very distinct.... rape-y vibe. He has certain creeper qualities that have made all the women in this neighborhood avoid him like the plague.

Second, he has serious boundary issues. He'll just wander into your yard and make himself at home. Regardless of if you're just out working in the yard, or you have guests over and are having a barbecue or whatever, he'll just sort of invite himself. And not leave.

Third, he drinks. Excessively. Like, to the point of completely blacking out in his front yard in the middle of the day. Yeah. And considering he's A STAY AT HOME DAD, clearly that's totally uncool. Why CPS hasn't been called, I don't know.

But the fourth and final quality you eventually learn about Crazy E? Dude has some serious anger issues. I guess his across-the-street neighbors can hear him and his wife fighting constantly, which breaks my heart for their little boy.

Well, earlier this week all of these lovely qualities came together to form the perfect storm of crazy. Crazy E had been drinking heavily (no shock there), and was wandering aimlessly through the neighborhood (again, nothing new) when he discovered his across-the-street-neighbor's kids were playing up the road with prepper-family's kids. Apparently this set him off, so he marched home, grabbed his pistol, came back, and started screaming and yelling and raving like a lunatic about "so what, my kid's not good enough to play with your kids?" and "come out here and let's resolve this" and scary crap like that.

Dude was waving a handgun at CHILDREN.

Clearly, prepper mom called the cops, and four sheriff's cars arrived very shortly thereafter. It took them quite awhile to calm Crazy E down, and he was arrested on a weapons related charge.

Needless to say, I've had our alarm system armed 24/7 since.

But the scariest part for me? The fact that just hours after he was released yesterday, he was at my children's school volunteering in his son's class. Like nothing had happened. Someone who is clearly unbalanced, has access to firearms, and has anger and alcohol problems, and is still working in the classroom?!? I feel like I've seen this news story before...

So I called the school.

Up until this point I hadn't gotten involved, because the situation did not directly include me, and I tend to mind my own business until my involvement is necessary. Well, I'm sure as hell not going to have another Sandy Hook situation occur at my children's school, so you better believe I got involved at this point.

I spoke with the principal, who had just been made aware of the situation, and Crazy E is no longer permitted to have any contact with any of the kids on campus apart from dropping off and picking up his son. But apparently there isn't really much they can legally do to bar him from campus.

And that I have a problem with.

There has to be more that can be done to protect our children, especially in this day and age where gun crimes are committed on the daily. It's times like this where I contemplate getting involved in politics...

Anyway, Crazy E currently has a restraining order against him, and prepper-mom is planning to prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law, and while I am not a litigious person, I fully support her decision to do so. No one gets to threaten children and get away with it. If it were my kids, I be out for blood too.

And the stupid thing is we moved out here to the foothills to avoid crazy shit like this. I just want to tend the garden, have our bonfires, and sit on the deck watching the sunset paint the mountain pink and orange.

Not feel like I'm living my very own rap song!

Blergh

Yesterday afternoon I had the *brilliant* idea to have one last special hurrah for the winding down of the kids' spring break. I thought it would be fun to surprise them and take them out to dinner and maybe do something fun afterwards. The Husband and I even discussed possibly going to see Jurassic Park in 3D (normally I don't do 3D movies- they make me motion sick- but I love me some Jurassic Park, and it would have been fun for the kids too)

So we packed up, and after a pit stop at the library to pick up some books the kids had on hold, we headed down to the Alderwood Mall. 

Now, I love Alderwood. It has great stores, a great atmosphere, and everything we need during any given mall trip. I've never had a bad experience there. Ever. 

Until yesterday.

(But it wasn't the mall's fault, so it's record still stands)

So we get there, and the first thing we do is head by the movie theater to check on times for Jurassic Park. Strike out. It's not playing there. The Husband looked it up on his phone, and turns out it's playing at the theater up the road, but there are only two times- 15 minutes from then, or 10 o'clock that night. We still hadn't eaten dinner, so going to the movie first wasn't really an option, and there was no way we were taking the kids to a 10:00 movie! So Jurassic Park was out.  *sadface*

So we park and head inside the mall, and then make a rundown of the plan. Eat, REI, Victoria's Secret, and then figure it out from there. Hubs had our REI dividend, and there were a few things he wanted to look at. I had two Victoria's Secret gift coupons to redeem. The kids wanted to hit up the Lego store (because who wouldn't?!?). And there were a couple of things I wanted to get at Nordstrom.

But first, food! Usually at Alderwood we just eat at the food court. We've eaten at Blue C Sushi before, but I'm not really a fan of sushi, so my options are limited there. We've eaten at P.F. Chang's numerous times (so good!). But we decided to branch out this time in honor of doing something special for the kids. 

Blergh.

This is where the evening went wrong.

We decided to try Claim Jumper. We'd heard of it before, and heard it was good, so we figured why not branch out? 

So we went and checked in at Claim Jumper, where we were told it would be 30-40 minutes for a table. The restaurant's atmosphere was nice, and we wanted to try something new, so we gave them our name, took the little buzzer thing, and wandered back into the mall to kill some time. 

I stopped by Starbucks, because I was cold and desperately needed caffeine. Then we headed across the mall to REI really quick to scope things out. Then we wandered back to Claim Jumper where we finished waiting for our table.

Once we were finally seated, we perused the menu, made our selections, and waited.

And waited...

It took awhile for our food to come, and once it did... well, it disappointed. Greatly.

The appetizer we ordered was... alright. Nothing special. Certainly not worth the $23!

Then our meals came.

Blergh.

My food was alright. They forgot my sourdough roll, but other than that everything seemed okay. Not amazing, but edible at least.

My oldest son's meal was burnt. To a crisp.

My youngest son's meal was forgotten and had to be reordered.

My daughter's meal was undercooked.

And The Husband's meal was so gross he couldn't even eat it. 

Talk about striking out!

Our server was lovely, despite all the mishaps, and she really tried to make it right. The Husband's and oldest son's meals were comped, and she threw in free desserts for the kids, and we still tipped her well because none of it was her fault. 

But even with the two free meals, our bill was $90.

$90!!!

For crappy food!!!

Blergh.

Finally our unfortunate dining experience was over, but by now it was 8:30, and the mall closed at 9:00. Suddenly our plans had to go into a condensed overdrive. The boys headed to REI, while us girls ran to Victoria's Secret. I got my free item and picked out a cute purple hoodie for the $10 off coupon, and then we headed back to find the boys. By this time the mall was on the verge of closing. 

So much for the Lego store and aimless roaming!

As we headed across the mall to REI, I suddenly started not feeling so well. It came in a wave, and then passed a few minutes later. We got to REI and were locked out because it was exactly 9:00, so I had to wait and sneak in once another customer left. We found the boys, and I helped The Husband choose between two pairs of those cargo pants that zip off into shorts. He checked out while I headed back through Nordstrom to the parking garage, completely forgetting that I had things to get in Nordstrom! By now I was starting to not feel well again.

We headed home, and within moments of arriving, I was sick.

I think I got mild food poisoning!!!

BLERGH!!!!

Never, ever, ever eating at Claim Jumper again. Ever. What a waste of an evening, and a total bummer on my "fun family evening" plans.

Luckily today our plan is to veg and watch movies with the kids all day, which suits me fine since I still feel kind of yucky.

Blergh.

My World of Witchcraft and Wizardry

So Harry Potter is kind of a big deal in my house.

Like, rock star status.

A couple times per year the kids and I watch some or all of the movies, marathon style, and honestly it never gets old. I never cease to be blown away by this amazing, magical world that has been created with such sincerity and minute detail. I love it! It's something I look forward to every time.

Last weekend we watched the fifth movie- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. And then the first half of this week gobsmacked us and we've been too busy to continue on with the other movies.

BUT!

Today, we are settling in with popcorn and blankies and watching the sixth one- The Half-Blood Prince.

It's by far my favorite out of all of them. I think because it's the funniest, and there are so many parts in it that make me chuckle. Plus, I know pretty much every line... not that I've seen it too many times or anything...

Anyway, our plan is to watch the sixth movie, and possibly part one of The Deathly Hollows today. Tomorrow we have to go into town and pick up the library books my daughter had ordered, and then maybe we'll finish part two of The Deathly Hollows after that.

It's gonna be a good day!

Because love potions...

Because Ron...

Because Hermione finally gets frazzled...

Because Helena Bonham Carter is amazing...

And because Luna...