Klassy

Anyone who has known me for over ten minutes will come to understand that I am, quite possibly, the clumsiest person alive.

It's true.

I'm a total klutz.

Like, epic levels of clumsy.

It's pretty amazing, really. The ways I manage to find to hurt myself are impressive.

And amusing. To others at least.

(Since I'm the one in pain I usually don't see the humor until afterwards...)

But yeah, I have mad skills when it comes to finding new and exciting ways to injure myself. There's the tried and tested methods, like opening mail and getting a nasty paper cut, or walking through a door and swinging my arm up into the doorknob (almost a daily occurrence).

But then there are the head-scratchers. Like hiking up an entire mountain without so much as a wrong step, and then rolling my ankle in the trailhead parking lot, ten feet from my truck. True story.

OR!!! Trying to scare my cat off of the kitchen counter, cutting the corner too close, and running my hip into the corner of the granite at full speed. Yeah. That one dropped me to the floor in pain.

But my greatest achievements? Those come from hurting myself without actually doing anything. Yes, I am just that amazing. I don't even have to be moving to hurt myself. I can be standing still doing something totally mundane and somehow manage to get a paper cut or a bruise or some other source of searing pain.

I'm like magic.

Or a danger to myself.

Whatevs.

So today I find myself with a severely limited range of motion in my neck and right shoulder. (Not convenient when you're right-handed)

See, I have this thing going on with my neck. It's been happening for a few years now, and it started when I'd just randomly wake up in the morning with a blindingly sore, stiff neck, and it could take anywhere from a couple of days to a few weeks to fully go away. Then, more recently, it started happening while I was awake and I became more aware of what was going on. I mean, I still have no clue why it's happening, or what exactly is going wrong, but now I at least know that something in my neck shifts, and I'm guessing it pinches a nerve or something? It's the weirdest feeling, followed by... well, a lot of pain and discomfort. The last time it happened was a couple of months ago while I was jogging (see what I mean, I don't hurt myself with the actual jogging like you'd expect, I screw up my neck instead... it's a gift)

So anyway, it happened again today. And I'd like to say it's from doing something heroic like lifting a car off of a trapped baby or falling from a tree whilst trying to save a kitten, but in reality, I was just brushing my teeth.

Yeah, I'm that special.