A case of the stressed out blahs

So I'm a bit of a stressball right now. And I can see that it is completely ridiculous on my part to be worrying about things that aren't even on the horizon for several months, but I'm feeling under the weather today, and I guess that has made me more susceptible to stressing out about random nonsense.

The kids brought home a lovely cold-y/flu-y thing from school towards the end of last week, and apparently today is my turn.

I'm just so lucky I could swoon!

No really, my head is really fuzzy and if I stand for too long I start to get a little dizzy and, well, swoon-y.

It's been a fun day so far, let me tell ya! What with the splitting headache that makes me feel like someone is stabbing dull steak knives into my brain. Or the waves of nausea that make me feel like I'm trapped in a skiff on super choppy waters. Or the weak, floppy feeling I have, where just the effort to brush my teeth or blow-dry my hair left me needing to lay down for a bit.

Oh yeah, and the utter lack of an attention span!

(Well, I guess the attention span thing may actually be pretty normal...)

But I digress. So I feel like crap today. And it's an absolutely gorgeous day outside. And I can't go enjoy these last delicious days of summer because of the I-feel-like-death-on-a-stick situation I find myself in.

So the next logical choice?

Well, have an overwhelming desire to bake brownies, for one. And anyone who knows me knows that I hate baking outside of Christmastime, so clearly I'm not well in the head!

And also?

Start worrying about the fact that you have to take three classes winter quarter, instead of the usual two.

Yeah...

You know, because winter quarter doesn't start until the middle of January. As in, 2014. As in, four and a half months away.

Let me explain.

This is my last year of school before I graduate with my degree in business management and get that little piece of paper that says "Yay you, you're smart!"

I officially have three quarters left, and I could not be more excited about it! It's taken me, oh, about a bajillion years (choosing what you want to be when you grow up is difficult, okay?) but I'm finally here. The end is nigh!

But for whatever reason, my classes worked out kind of wonky, so I have seven classes left. Which means that I either extend my timeframe and take my business capstone in the summer, or I buckle down and take three classes at once in order to be done on time.

I'm opting for the three classes option.

It's far from ideal. After all, the two classes that constitute a full-time load are generally difficult enough, the idea of juggling three is certainly daunting. Each class generally requires at least 10-15 hours of work per week. And that's not counting the extra time required for research and writing papers and taking tests and all that. Those 10-15 hours are just for the reading assignments (the average is a minimum of 50 pages per week per class), the discussion question responses, and the peer responses.

The three classes that quarter are all going to be lower-level electives, so I'm going to try and take classes that are a little gentler on my sanity, but you can't really predict how that winds up, because there is so much variation between instructors. It's a total crapshoot.

So why not just bump the capstone back, you say?

Well, for one, because I want to be done as quickly as possible. And for two, because thanks to a little-publicized policy change that our lovely former president George W. Bush instituted, undergrads can only borrow so much for their degree, regardless of school.

So if you attend a community college? You can afford to go to school for probably ten years before you hit your cap.

If you attend a higher quality school? You barely squeeze in under the cut off.

And for those attending, say, an Ivy League school? Fahgettaboutit!

(Then again, aren't all Ivy League-ers rich to begin with? So like they're borrowing for their education, amiright?!?)

Anyhoodle, so yeah, because I'm squarely in the independent middle class, and because I'm attending a higher quality school, my loan limits will be reached spring quarter. Which means I'm squeezing in three classes winter quarter. And I'll still have to pay a bit out of pocket for the third class.

But it's still cheaper than paying for the capstone completely out of pocket.

That course is freaking expensive!!!

Labor Day, Anne Taintor, and Housewifery

Hey hey! I hope everyone had a safe and happy Labor Day weekend!

Ours was very low-key, which was nice. Saturday we lounged around all morning, and then in the afternoon I went grocery shopping and ran a few errands. Sunday I spent the late morning cleaning, and the afternoon getting some work done on my laptop. And yesterday, we lounged around in the morning, took the kids swimming in the afternoon, and then had a super yummy roast for dinner with all the trimmings! Great closeout to a relaxing weekend!

Today, of course, is back to reality. Kids are off to school, The Husband is at work, and I'm here getting all my housewifery done.

(It's a word, I promise)

First up, I have to deal with our rental office. For the record, while I don't have a lot of experience in apartment living, I can attest to the fact that this particular rental management company is... well, terrible.

Unprofessional.

Disorganized.

Lousy at communicating.

And I have to call and deal with them today because something is wonky with our account. Lucky me. I absolutely cannot wait until our house is done!!! I will not miss this place at all!

After that, my day is pretty normal. Laundry, mopping, a bit of trashy reality television. Good stuff.

Props to Anne Taintor for infusing 1950s charm with modern day biting sarcasm!

My kind of girl.

Happy Labor Day!!!

I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday doing... well, very little!

Accomplishing things is exhausting

Oy vey.

Hi internets! I'm back!

This week has been... well, just as tiring and stressful as I'd expected.

BUT!!!!!

We got so much house stuff done yesterday, and it looks like we are on track on be done and close on time! Two months and counting...

(Fingers crossed)

We did our framing walk through yesterday, and picked out where all of our electrical outlets, phone and cable jacks, light switches, light fixtures, propane hookups, etc will go. It was... productive, though slightly frustrating.

But not as frustrating as the rest of the afternoon went.

After the framing walk through, we went with the builders to the cabinet place to pick out our cabinets and counter tops, and that's when things went a bit pear shaped.

As with every home builder, ours obviously have a profit margin built into the cost of everything, and they therefore want you to stick within a certain budget so as to not compromise that profit. However, our builders' budget for certain things is incredibly unrealistic (we're pretty sure they just pulled numbers out of their butts without basing them on realistic, current prices).

On top of that, they are really pushy about their tastes (and it just so happens that their preferences in cabinets, carpet, flooring, and so forth, are also what they get the best deals on, and therefore make the most money on).

However, their tastes are so not my tastes, and we've gone a few rounds in the process of making that clear. The cabinets and flooring they kept pushing on me are blonde oak. As in, totally 1994.

She was pushing for something like these...

Ick.

I prefer darker, more updated wood, thank you very much.

We also preferred the shaker style cabinet doors over their preference for the arched, raised panel doors. It's a far more modern, updated look, and will make our kitchen up-to-date for much longer.

We chose these, only a bit darker...

So after going around and around on that, they finally backed off, and we ordered the doors we wanted, which made me happy. However, they won't include the hardware- the drawer pulls and door handles.

Really?!?

So we will have to do that on our own later on. Which is dumb. But whatevs.

The irony of the cabinet door kerfuffle?

The cabinet guy came in when we were just finishing up discussing it all, and the builders mentioned to him they need to order some cabinets for another house they're building, and he recommended the doors we had just ordered!

And his reasoning?

Because they're a more updated, modern look and more desirable to buyers!

So that little piece of vindication was nice.

After that I had to pick up the kids from school, so The Husband went with one of the builders to Lowe's to start picking out tile and fixtures and whatnot, and after collecting the younglings I met up with them.

After much debate (and more forcing of opinions), we finally chose tile for the laundry room, both bathroom floors, and our shower. We also gave her our choices for the wood flooring and countertops, and then had to go through the process of picking out a new carpet choice because apparently the cost of the padding was supposed to also be included in the carpet allowance (despite me having asked and her reassuring me that they do the padding separately and the whole allowance just goes to carpet)(grumblegrumble).

This was the point where the builder had to go, and I was perfectly okay with that because I was feeling quite frazzled by the carpet snafu. If I'm paying this much for a house, I'm sure as hell not going to settle for cheap ass carpet that's all thin and scraggly and will wear out within a month.

And that was looking like what was going to happen, until the most lovely Lowe's employee ever came to our rescue.

She took into account our builder's contractor discount, she found a carpet that is nice and thick and was on sale at the moment and that had the color we wanted, and she finagled the numbers around until both the squishy carpet and the pad were exactly within budget.

Suffice it to say, she saved me from a mental breakdown!

Thank you Bridgette at the Cheyenne Lowe's. You're my hero!

After that whole saga was dealt with, it was then off to pick out our lighting and fixtures package. The fixtures were easy peasy. Oil rubbed bronze, slightly victorian look. Donesies!

Bathroom fixtures

Bathroom faucets

Kitchen faucet

Sensing a theme yet?

And it only continued once we moved onto the lighting fixtures. Two 60" ceiling fans, five dome lights, two bathroom light bars, two sconces, two hanging light fixtures, two hanging bar lights, and five exterior lights later, we had a definite (though originally unintended) theme. 

Modern, clean, updated, though also classic. Oil rubbed bronze with warm glass. And the sconces have the leaded glass with the pop of color, that will compliment our front door, as well as the lamp I keep in the entry way.

I only hope that when all is said and done, it actually looks good. Because your brain can only handle so many decisions in a four hour period. After that it turns into spaghetti.

And I don't know if spaghetti has been known for it's design choices...

There isn't enough caffeine in the world...

Life has been a bit... stressful... over the last couple of weeks. And this week it's going to get a whole lot more so (but in more of a good way).

So I mentioned about a week and a half ago about the absolute shit day I was having. I'd been feeling ill, our apartment had come under assault by a airborne chunk of concrete, and then to top it all off, it was looking like our mortgage was going to fall through because of some stupid seven-and-a-half-year-old medical debt that was less than half of a percentage of the purchase price of the house we are building.

We have also disputed this debt in the past, the credit bureaus themselves have disputed the debt, and I also have a payment stub from seven years ago showing that one of the debts they have listed was already paid in full! So clearly things are not on the up and up.

We tried contacting the company holding the debt, and they were, well, awful, to put it mildly. They not only wanted the entire amount of the debt listed (despite the fact that part of it was paid years ago and the credit bureaus dispute that rest is even ours), but they also wanted to tack on other debt that they claimed they had of ours (even though it didn't show up on our credit and they admitted they couldn't prove it was ours in the first place). On top of that, they refused to give us anything in writing saying the debt would have been paid off and they refused to remove it from our credit even if we paid the entire amount of NOT OUR debt.

Shady, shady, shady.

We actually looked up this company, and apparently, this is what they do. They have been sued many times because of it. They buy old debts from other, more legit collection companies, they pool the debts into one big group, then assign them randomly to people. They don't actually pay off the debts with the money they collect, they don't follow collection regulations, and the fact that they are still in business is mind-boggling to me.

So we called the mortgage guy we had been working with and told him what was going on, thinking he would be understanding and be willing to work around this hiccup. Especially since we have such a large down payment ready to go.

Nope.

He refused to move forward on our mortgage without that final debt being removed from our credit. Never mind the fact that it is over seven years old and shouldn't even be on our credit anymore anyway. Never mind the fact that I had records of paying the debt they were claiming we owed. Never mind the fact that we had records of the credit bureaus trying to remove this debt from our credit and this company refusing. And never mind the fact that this company is involved in illegal collection practices, hadn't contacted us over these supposedly important debts, and the amount they claimed we owed would have in no way impacted our ability to pay our bills.

Dude was just an ass. Plain and simple.

So after a day or two of feeling really down, watching our dreams crumble over something that should never have been an issue in the first place (I mean, we already bought one house for crissake, and this debt would have been on there then, and it didn't matter!), we decided to rally.

I'm not a quitter. I never have been.

If there is a way to make it work, by God I'm going to find it.

So I did!

We contacted our previous mortgage broker in Washington and explained the situation to him, and he actually laughed out loud at how ridiculous it all was! He said that no, this debt should never have mattered in the first place, given its age AND the documented history of trying to address it. He said that any mortgage broker worth their salt knows that this particular collection agency is a total scam and is generally just ignored. He said that if he were our broker, he could 99.99% guarantee us the mortgage.

Unfortunately, he's not licensed in Wyoming.

Le sigh.

But we found someone in the same parent company that is! And he also thought the crap we had been put through was insane. And he also guaranteed us it wouldn't be an issue and that he could get the mortgage through underwriting without a hitch. And he said that given how good our credit is, we qualify for the best government loans available, which means lower interest rates, which is pretty sweet.

So we are back on track.

We fired the douchebag mortgage guy, and our real estate agent, Mike, has even ceased recommending people to him because of all this. Mike said this guy used to be really good and go out of his way for his mortgage customers, but lately he's been all about the money, charging higher interest rates for no reason other than the added profit, not being willing to work around any hiccup in someone's credit (even though almost all people have a hiccup or two), not answering or returning phone calls, and just being an arrogant jerk in general. Mike said our situation with him was the last straw. If this guy wasn't even able to help someone with as good of credit and as much of a down payment as we have, he doesn't deserve Mike's business.

I concur!

So we got that settled. I will still be a little nervous, because nothing is ever certain until it is complete. So until we have signed papers and have those keys in our hands, I'll be a little antsy. But we can resume being excited about our house. And that's a good feeling.

So that was why the past couple of weeks have been stressful.

This coming week is a whole other, albeit more tolerable, ball game.

The kids start school on Tuesday. They will be attending the school that is just down the road from our future house, which will be super convenient once we're living there.

Until then, however? Logistical nightmare.

Right now we live almost an hour away. And we have to plan for morning traffic heading north. The plan for the next couple of months is for The Husband to take the kids to school on his way to work, and then pick them up after school and bring them home when he's done. The hour and a half between school getting out and Husband's work being done, the kids will hang out in his office and do homework.

This is the most sensible plan, though it isn't the most desirable. We decided it doesn't make sense for both of us to be driving back and forth from Fort Collins to Cheyenne every day. The gas budget would absolutely explode!!!

BUT...

This week? The Husband is in meetings all week for a huge conversion they're working on at the hospital.

Which means that I have to take the kids and pick them up all week. I was originally planning on going for the open house and the first day of school, obviously, but now it's an all week thing. And I weep for my gas consumption!

We decided that I'd just plan ahead, bring snacks and toys and all the necessary provisions, and we'd all drive together in the morning, drop The Husband off at work on the way to the school, and then me and Monkey would just hang out in Cheyenne all day.

All. Freaking. Day.

Cheyenne's great and all. But there's only so much to do! And I'll have eight hours every day to kill. I think we will be spending a lot of time at the many parks in town.

BUT!

The trusses for the roof of our house began going up on Friday! Which means the framing will be done very shortly! Which means we will get to meet with the builder to do our framing walk through and pick out everything for the house!

Cabinets. Countertops. Flooring. Finishes. Appliances.

I'm hoping we will get to do that this week.

Because, really?!? Otherwise it's going to be a long, boring week...

Apparently Louis C.K. hasn't spend much time in Cheyenne...

Footprints on my heart

I think it is a universal understanding that good friends are hard to come by. In this great big world of 7 billion people, finding individuals who truly accept you for you, warts and all, is tricky. People want you to fit into their preconceived mold; they want to define you, shape you, control you, and turn you into their version of who they think you should be.

It's shitty, but true.

Growing up, I had several friends through elementary school and high school who were like that. I was told who to be, what to think, how to act, what I did or did not like, and sadly I accepted that for myself.

Until one day I didn't.

Needless to say, I have sufficiently lost contact with all of those "friends".

Now that I am approaching my 30s, it has become increasingly clear to me that it's not the quantity of friends you have, it's the quality.

In keeping with that, I really only have three true friends in my life. Yes, I have many more people that I would call my friends, several of whom I know I could call for help in a crisis or whatever.

But only three of them are people that I feel truly "get" me. People I could call sobbing at 3am, and they would drop everything to be there for me. And I for them.

The first is my sister. Growing up, we hated each other. Like, truly despised each other's existence. I was the irritated older sister, she was the spoiled younger sister. We fought. We threw things at each other. We called each other the meanest names we could think of. She bit me. I kicked her. Once she even pulled a knife on me!

(It was a butter knife, and she was about 4 or 5, but still)

(I still give her shit for it)

It wasn't until she was about 15 or so that we started to actually enjoy each other's company. After she graduated high school, she lived with The Husband and I off and on for almost two years, and while that was difficult in some ways, it was also a lot of fun and brought us closer together. She has been there for me through some tough stuff, and I for her, and I love her dearly and miss her a ton now that we've moved.

I don't think I truly appreciated how much I enjoyed getting to spend time with her or talk to her regularly, and now that we're 1200 miles away, I get sad thinking about it. I'm getting a little ferklemped right now actually, so moving on!

The second friend is my dear friend Age. She and I have been friends for 25 years.

Yeah. Saying that makes me feel reaaaallly old...

But we were barely 5 when we met, so the math isn't as devastating as it sounds.

Age was my first (and really only) best friend. She was my other half! We did everything together growing up. Sledding and camping and every single birthday and eight million sleepovers. We would play dress up until the wee hours of the morning, and then her parents would make the best pancakes in the world- still unrivaled by any other pancakes, ever.

Like, seriously, don't even try. Kotyk Pancakes for the win.

She had the cool video game systems that my family couldn't afford, and I developed my love of Super Mario and Donkey Kong at her house. We had a pet nail (one of those industrial sized rail road nails?) (yeah... I don't know... overactive imaginations?) attached to a meltwater runoff pipe on the walk home from the bus stop, and we named her Nailey and dressed her up in grasses and leaves and whatnot. We made snow forts and climbed trees and picked cherries and spent more time on the banks of the Columbia River than I can even remember (though I distinctly remember the intense terror I felt every time we went down there, because of the insane amounts of poison ivy plants and my irrational fear of touching said poison ivy) (which I still have today...) I practically lived at her house, and her parents still consider me one of their daughters.

We certainly had our ups and downs. She was the domineering one (as the youngest of three girls, I think she was exerting her power any way she could) and I was a total pushover. We fought like cats and dogs, but never stayed away too long (even when we probably should have). In about the 6th grade, we had a temporary friendship divorce, but I think it only lasted maybe a month or so? After that we pretty much stopped fighting (unless she was hanging out with one of the Amandas. The Amandas were never nice to me. Bitches) and our lifelong friendship was cemented.

I moved away at the end of 8th grade, and against all odds and expectations (and several hundred miles), we stayed in touch and stayed friends. While we don't see each other as often as we'd like, we still make it work. She is a part of me. She has known me the longest, put up with me and my idiosyncrasies, and accepts me fully (as I do her). Because of her (and her family) I had a happier childhood than I otherwise would have. We have literally and figuratively grown up together. I know that she will always be in my heart and in my life, and I love her and miss her dearly.

(Happy Birthday tomorrow!!!)

The third friend is my soul-sista Kym. I swear, meeting her was like meeting my (blonde, much shorter, much larger-breasted) alter ego. Our husbands find it a little scary how alike we are. She and I clicked instantly, which almost never happens for me. I always feel like I have to put on a facade with people, especially when I first meet them. But with Kym, I was instantly comfortable with her. I can totally be myself around her, and nothing phases her. While we've only known each other a short while, I feel like I've known her forever. We've supported each other through life's bullshit, we've laughed, we've cried, our kids are best friends, even our husbands get along great.

Leaving Kym was one of the hardest parts of moving to Wyoming (besides my family, of course). She was the first person I'd met, in the town I'd lived in for over 6 years, with whom I actually genuinely clicked. Our families instantly bonded, and I could easily see us all growing old together, sitting on our back deck, drinking beers and commiserating about what crazy thing our kids did, or the uber-mom up the street and the bitchy thing she said this time, or the craziness of extended family.

I miss them terribly, my kids miss their kids, and when I get particularly lonely or stressed out down here, I wish I could just walk up the street to Kym's, plop on her couch, play with Baby-Baby, and chit-chat for hours.

Weight loss and diet nonsense

Just wanted to share this woman's blog post- an open apology to all her previous weight loss clients.

It's really quite powerful.

Our focus on physical perfection takes its toll. It is unhealthy, both physically and mentally. It has become "normal" to have disordered eating habits, a disordered body image, a disordered life.

And it needs to stop.

Society needs a gut check. Or a reality check.

It really is as simple as eating real, natural, wholesome foods, being active, and letting the rest go.

Perfection does not exist, nor is it attainable. But what is easily attainable is your perfection.

Just be you. Be healthy. Live your life.

And for goodness sake, stop comparing yourself to other people. It's hard, yes. But no good ever comes from it.

You are exactly who and what you are supposed to be. So be you to the fullest.