Back from the ether... With lemons

So it was brought to my attention quite recently (thanks Boppa!) that I haven't been blogging very frequently lately. Which is... totally true.

Especially here on Muddled Lemons.

About a month and a half.

Eesh, sorry!

Life has been hectic of late. 80% in a good way, mind you. But hectic nonetheless.

Continuing to build my writing career (yes, I still giggle awkwardly at calling it that). Working on the novel that has been bouncing around in my head for a number of years. Producing freelance content for clients. Occasional writing on my other blogs. Applied for my first 'big girl' writing job with a pretty big news/gossip site (which I totally won't get, but it's the putting-yourself-out-there that counts).

On top of that, Hubs has been busy climbing the corporate ladder at his new job, and loving every minute of it (except when he had to fire someone, that part sucked). And the kids have kept me busy with their eight million extracurricular activities. I clearly missed my calling as a chauffeur.

I also was recently hired to produce the content for a start-up website. Well, kinda. It's a long, cluster-f*ck of a story. The first client, K, contacted me to write the content for a site they want to go live in mid-November. I wrote the first article for them, and they were really impressed with it and recommended me to their colleague, S.

S contacted me a few days later, describing two upcoming health projects they are building, both of which are huge in scope, and they said I could have one or both if I wanted.

Well, of course I jumped at the chance. I know little to nothing about the topics of these projects, but that's nothing a little research can't remedy. You can't turn down that kind of an opportunity! As Tina Fey says, "say yes and figure it out later".

So things were chugging along all fine and dandy, when the second client, S, emailed me asking if they could contact me via my personal e-mail, rather than through the host site.

I politely said no. Because privacy.

They then asked if I would be willing to produce this content via another host site, citing cheaper commission rates on the other sites.

Again, I politely said no.

Because here's the thing: the site I write through has incredibly stringent author protections in place, reducing the likelihood of being ripped off by a client. Which is a huge issue in the freelance world, and the exact reason I don't just query clients on my own.

(Yes, you could make more money querying on your own, but there's no guarantee of payment, so you could have wasted your time and had your work essentially stolen.)

By asking to contact me outside of the host site, and asking me to move to a competitor's site, this client not only basically asked me to break protocol, but was also essentially putting my standing with the host site (standing which is quite high), as well as my personal security and chances of even getting paid at risk.

All to save them two percentage points (maybe $20) on the host commission.

So now I don't know if I will be continuing with these projects. I'm currently working on the first article for the first health project, because the client had already deposited the money into their client account (one of the assurances the site takes for their authors as guarantee of payment).

After that? Who knows?

The whole thing left me feeling pretty dejected. For every decent freelance client out there, it seems like there are a dozen shady ones looking to score as much free or low-paid work as possible. It's quite disheartening.

Yes, I am technically a paid writer. Yes, you have to claw your way up in this industry. Yes, you have to pay your dues. Yes, there will always be lousy clients or rejection letters or doubters or people looking to take advantage of you. Yes, you will eventually make something of yourself through sheer hard work and determination. But some days it honestly doesn't feel worth it. Some days, I feel like I'm just wasting my time and getting paid peanuts in the process.

(Aren't I just a sparkling ray of sunshine?!?)

So for now, I plug away at the menial tasks of being a newbie freelancer. And for now, I just hope that at some point, preferably sooner rather than later, someone will give me a chance to prove my worth. And make a livable writer's wage in the process.

On top of dealing with the emotional quagmire associated with freelance writing, we've had a few other out-of-left-field curveballs. Because life has a sense of humor, apparently.

Our dishwasher broke this week. You know, the brand new dishwasher that's less than a year old. Yep, that one. So I've been 50s-housewife-ing it up this week.

I know, I know, First World Problems.

But it's annoying nonetheless.

Especially since the only reason we bought our appliances through this particular store was because of the apparent "wonderful customer service" as assured by our builder.

Well that customer service apparently means you have to wait over a week for them to even come out and look at the appliance in question.

I swear, if they try to renege on the fact that it's still under warranty, I may be inclined to throat-punch someone.

Just sayin' is all.

Then, the other day my husband's car finally gave out. It's a 2004 Passat. And if you know anything about VWs, you know that they tend to crap out pretty epically.

We've dumped more money into that damn car over the last few years than it's even worth, most recently paying almost $1000 last month to replace the fuel pump.

And then it just ups and dies.

Bastard car.

So we're figuring out what to do now. We can't go into winter without two reliable vehicles. However, we just bought that damn truck this summer because our Suburban blew up. Can we really take on ANOTHER car payment? Or can we really keep dumping money into a piece of shit car that has virtually no trade in value or financial worth?

I'll be honest. I'm damn sick of dealing with vehicle issues. We've dealt with more vehicle issues in the last, what, four or five months, than we have pretty much ever.

Pretty much sums it up.

I've also been incredibly anxious for the past few days, but not in terms of the writing stress or the car stress. It's another beast entirely. I can't quite put my finger on why. And it's made it near impossible to get a good night's sleep or have much of an appetite.

Some days I feel like the gods look down on me and smile. And point. And laugh. And throw things.

Life's little curveballs keep things interesting. But sometimes life's little curveballs get pretty tiresome. And sometimes there's nothing more soothing than a good cry. Or six.

Usually I'm like this:

And some days I'm like this:

But today? I'm like this:

Movin' and shakin'

This weekend was busy busy busy, but in a productive, happy, and delightfully exhausting way.

Since moving is off the table for the foreseeable future, we are now moving forward with plans we've had for the house. Hubs started building us a deck off the dining room a couple of months ago (in between thunder storms, anyway), but it was put on hold for our vacation up to Washington. Since getting back from our trip, we've been busy and distracted and the deck sat neglected for the last several weeks.

Additionally, I've been planning on painting a few rooms in the house and putting my personal stamp on it. My first project was the guest bathroom. It has this fun paisley-patterned shower curtain in it, and I wanted to play off the colors in the pattern. All of the colors are fairly bright, so I knew I'd only do one wall so as to not cause blindness or epileptic seizures in my guests, and I decided to go with a warm, burnt orange color. I had carried the sample paint chip around in my purse for almost a month, but when it became apparent that we may not be here as long as we'd thought, it clearly didn't make a whole lot of sense to spend the time and money putting my personal touch on the house.

Well, now that we know for sure that we're sticking around for awhile, we spent the weekend working on these projects. I finished the bathroom:

Before...

During...

After!!!

Hubs finished the skeleton of the deck:

View from the eventually-to-be-landscaped backyard

Soon-to-be entertaining area

Soon-to-be steps down to the yard

We used reclaimed wood for the frame, since we're hippies from Seattle and that's just what you do. We're going to seal it with a couple cans of Rescue It (I'm thinking either the Timberline or Russet colors, since that'll complement the house), and then use new, pressure treated decking boards for the top. We're also going to get solar-powered post caps, because again, hippies. Weather permitting, it'll be done (or mostly done) by the end of this coming weekend, and we can spend a few weeks enjoying it before winter comes early and ruins the fun.

I'm planning on putting two potted dwarf junipers on each side of the steps, for pretties. I'm also going to repurpose a set of end tables and a coffee table that we have into planter holders, again for pretties. I'll post pics of the finished product!

Besides helping Hubs with sealing the deck, my next project will be to paint the wall around the front door. Our front door is gorgeous, but it sort of blends in with the wall around it, and I want to make it "pop". I'm going to choose a more neutral color for that; probably something in the toasted almond range, since our living room accent wall is a pretty bright red, and while I love color, I prefer any one visual space to not clash and give people headaches!

That'll pretty much be the end of my painting projects until the basement is done. At that point, we'll be painting every surface down there (the older kids are already contemplating colors for their rooms... oldest is going with a Seahawks theme), and I'll be turning the front bedroom into a guest room (which I'll be painting) and moving my little guy into the center bedroom (again with the painting). I also want to paint the master bedroom, but in all honesty, that's the last thing on my list. Mostly because I want to paint the wall that our bed rests against, and our best is freaking heavy, and I'm too lazy to make the effort. Just being honest.

Like sands through the hourglass...

Yep, these are the days of our lives... The crazy, out of left field days of our lives.

So here's what's been going on. As you know, a little over a year ago, The Husband was offered an outstanding job opportunity here in Wyoming, resulting in our big move from the greater Seattle area to Cheyenne. However, after getting down here and getting settled, it quickly became clear that the job was not what we had been promised. In fact, The Husband had been bold-faced lied to about the job: its future, its duties, even its title.

Over the course of the past year, Hubs was put in charge of a project that was doomed from the start (when the management company includes a clause in their contract stating they do not have to finish the project if they don't want to, that should be a red flag, but Husband's company's CFO signed it anyway). Since then, they cycled through four different project managers (none of whom had previous PM experience), pushed back the project three separate times (it's now slated to go live a full year after its original date), and had the management company remove 80% of the original project items from scope. Husband was the only one at his company technically skilled enough to handle the demands of the project, and therefore more and more duties and responsibilities were dumped on his plate.

On top of that, continually more duties and responsibilities of his core job were piled on as well. It became the go-to to expect Hubs to 'handle it', even when the time constraints made it truly impossible to do so. As the expectations exponentially grew, so to did the lack of respect or appreciation (or even basic civility). Hubs became the fall guy for everyone else's issues (particularly when the Payroll Department didn't feel like doing their jobs). Hubs' manager did absolutely nothing to ease the situation, not even bothering to show up to meetings or update himself on the status of the project. All of the warnings Hubs gave regarding the quality, integrity, and success of the project were ignored, even when all of them came true. And still no willingness from Hubs' manager to give Hubs the job title, pay grade, or even public recognition and respect befitting his massive responsibilities.

Finally, the tinderbox erupted. It became clear that Hubs not only had no future growth within the company, but there was a chance he would be left holding the bag when the project inevitably failed and created a PR, logistical, and corporate nightmare. Hubs and I both reached out to our networks and pursued job opportunities for him, both here and back in Seattle. Some leads went nowhere. Others seemed promising but resulted in bupkis. After our hellish summer of family health crises and vehicular drama, we became all the more aware of our need for a reprieve. Mentally and emotionally, we both were exhausted, and put it out to the universe that hey, we need a break!

Well, be careful what you wish for, my lovelies, because apparently when it rains, it pours!

Last week, Husband received a call from a contact back in Seattle, offering him a job position. It wasn't an ideal position, but it would have afforded us the opportunity to get back to our home turf. Some negotiations still needed to take place, so we knew we had a few days before anything was final. However, we were given verbal confirmation on several occasions that yes, this was going to happen, without a doubt.

Well, yesterday we were supposed to have received the official job offer. By then, we had discussed the situation with our families and a few closest friends, and everyone was incredibly excited about the prospect of having us move back to Seattle. As we awaited the job offer, Hubs received another interesting phone call. A local job prospect that he had interviewed twice with and then didn't hear back from finally called. The president of the company wanted to interview him that afternoon! He went in, and 30 minutes later they offered him the job.

So, now we were facing two competing job offers: one that wasn't great but would have brought us back to Seattle, and one that would have kept us here in Cheyenne for the foreseeable future, but was an awesome career opportunity. It was a genuinely mind-boggling situation that we had never predicted having to face, and we were at a loss.

Cue the DEFCON 1 levels of stress.

Being the slightly OCD, anal-retentive, Type A person I am in a challenging situation, I proceeded to make in-depth pro-con lists. We then took the kids out to dinner, both to celebrate Hubs' new opportunities and imminent escape from his hellish job, as well as to inform the kids of the difficult decision we were facing and get their input.

(Oldest son wanted to go back to Seattle, daughter was good either way, and little guy was sad at leaving his best friend Percy Jackson...)

By the end of the evening, we had pretty much come to our decision, but were still awaiting the official job offer from Seattle. By this morning it still hadn't come, and we found out that the CFO and HR manager of that company had decided it would be more fiscally advantageous to stick with local candidates whom they could hire for much cheaper (because they notoriously pay below market whenever possible).

So that was that. The decision was made for us (though, in truth, it was the decision we were leaning toward anyway).

Hubs starts his new job the day after Labor Day, and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time!

Anniversary

One year ago today, we arrived here in Wyoming.

We had left Washington on the evening of July 6, 2013, and pulled into Cheyenne in the wee hours of July 9th.

Those first few days- hell, the first few hours, even- were a major struggle for me, as from the start, things did not go as planned and expected. I had just left a house that I loved, a town that I loved, and my family and closest friends, and was instantly regretting all of it. It honestly took me several weeks before I began reestablishing my grasp on why we had moved, and that it was in fact a good thing.

Those four months we lived in the apartment, waiting for our house to be finished, were tough. I physically hated living there, and the commute for my husband and children was brutal. After the house was done and we finally, officially moved up to Cheyenne, things began looking up.

The fluffy clouds of the High Plains

I loved our house, and the feeling of finally getting to be settled. I loved that the kids' school and Husband's work were now only minutes away instead of an hour. I loved that our lives were finally able to simplify, and we could begin establishing ourselves here.

Storm rolling in over the kids' school

There have been some hiccups, and some obstacles, and some what-the-hell-are-you-kidding-me moments. But overall, I can honestly say that I like living here (minus the wind, which is soul sucking).

But here's the thing.

Something that, despite my many attempts, I have been unable to successfully explain to many others in our lives.

On the one hand, I like it here. On the other hand, I would move back to Seattle tomorrow.

And yes, those two feelings can coexist.

While it was an emotional struggle for me at first, I fully understand why we moved here, and the benefits of doing so. I have adapted (mostly) to high plains living, and while there are some aspects of it I may not particularly care for, overall it's nice here.

Normal sunset views from my house!

I like exploring the area and seeing new things. The sunsets and sky-scapes are absolutely stunning. The slower pace of life and small-town feel is perfectly pleasant to me (except trying to get anywhere on Lincolnway anytime before 10 am, when the Blue Hair Brigade is out in force and going 20 mph below the speed limit!)

But here's the thing that people are having a hard time wrapping their heads around: I like it here, but I miss Seattle like crazy. It's not like living in Cheyenne is terrible, and I'm miserable and want out rightthissecond. I do, genuinely, like it here. But I don't love it here.

And that's the key.

Hello, gorgeous!

My heart and soul is in Seattle. In the trees and the mountains and the rivers and the ocean.

Mt. Pilchuck, my former backyard

Is anything better than a bonfire on the beach?!?

So beautiful, and so very missed

I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if we will stay in Cheyenne for five more months or five more years. But I do know that our time here is not permanent. Western Washington is a very special place, rich in a natural beauty that can't be matched. My soul is fed up there, and because of that, we will move back eventually.

It is possible to like where you are, but know you belong somewhere else. To be happy, but not fulfilled. That's where I'm at. And our calamity of a trip last week reaffirmed that to me. Driving across Snoqualmie Pass made my heart sing. And leaving made it sink.

I don't hate living in Wyoming, and I certainly don't regret moving here.

But home is where the heart is. And my heart is in Seattle

Best places to camp in southeast Wyoming

Here is my latest Yahoo! article. I haven't been published much lately on account of being ridiculously busy and otherwise losing my mind. However, I'm trying to get back into it, especially now that my final quarter is winding down soon.

Hope you enjoy!

It wouldn't be spring in the Front Range without insane weather patterns

Friday: sunny and 78 degrees.

Saturday: sunny and 75 degrees.

Sunday: snowing and 22 degrees….

Welcome to spring in the High Plains?

The Husband and I took our new travel trailer for a test run this weekend, and went camping down at Cherry Creek State Park just south of Aurora, Colo. (Or, more accurately, the campground is actually nestled within the city, which was… a new experience for us. Our campground back in Washington was 30 miles north of nowhere!)

There's snow in them there clouds...

It was a lovely, albeit quick, trip, and we made many, many camping and road trip plans for the coming spring and summer months! We did, however, get snowed out on Sunday, so our weekend was cut short. Thank goodness we left when we did, because we hit a perfect break in the weather that made it (at least slightly) less hairy getting back to Cheyenne.

And I have to say, I felt sorry for the poor saps in their tents… been there, done that, it sucks when the weather turns on you and all that is between you and Mother Nature's fury is a thin wall of polyurethane-coated fabric!

My day thus far has consisted of massive loads of laundry; getting the trailer linens and dishes cleaned and squared away; paying bills; and other general housewifery items.

I had planned on making a grocery run as well, but yesterday's stupid snow fall and subsequent deep freeze put a damper on that, on account of the ice rinks we call roads. I'll get to it tomorrow, since it'll be the only nice day this week!

I also need to attend to that whole pesky school thing. Spring quarter starts today.

Blergh.

BUT!!!!! FINAL QUARTER!!!!!

I've thus far managed to avoid any and all school work today. Because what better way to kick off my last quarter than through intense procrastination, amiright?!?

Lucky it's a super light week. (And one of my only light weeks all quarter… le sigh…)

I'll get it done. I always do. I just have to put my house back together first. Because as it turns out, while RV camping is in many ways much easier and more convenient than tent camping, there's one thing they don't tell you. Your house still ends up looking like a bomb went off in it when you get back!

Is there anything better than a campfire?

Why I Chose to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom

Here is the second article from a couple weeks ago.

5 Lessons of Homeownership

Here is one of two articles I published a couple weeks ago, but I've been too busy and scatterbrained to share them!

I be jammin'

Some people spent yesterday watching the absolutely EPIC playoffs (where both of my teams won!)

I spent it doing this...

Canning jam! Raspberry, and blackberry-raspberry, to be precise.

And yeah, I made up the last one. From scratch. And it was delicious.

Domesticity for the win, baby!

I love canning. There's something soothing and comforting about it. It's almost Zen-like for me.

Plus, you end up with beautiful jars of homemade food!

(Next up, salsa. Well, soon, anyway.)

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have school work to tend to. Because the soul-crushing stress is beginning to get to me…

We may not have a polar vortex, but it's cold here too!

Here is a Yahoo! article I wrote about the cold snap.

Making a town your home

Part of the difficulty of moving to a new town (and especially to a new town in a whole new state) is having to acquaint yourself with what the area has to offer. I mentioned a few days ago how we went up to Vedauwoo to explore, and how making attachments and memories in a new area helps cement a bond and make it feel like home.

Well part of that isn't just exploring nature's offerings. It is also getting to know the businesses and locations within the town or city itself. Earlier this summer we visited the Capitol Building a couple of times, but our exploring was limited by the fact that we were living in Colorado, and were only in Cheyenne periodically. Now that we're up here for good, and now that the holiday chaos has subsided, we're beginning to get to know our new home town. 

Yesterday, I had an appointment to get my hair cut. Any girl can tell you, getting your hair cut for the first time by a new stylist is one of the scariest things you can do! 

Exactly

Luckily, it went well, and my hair is back to it's glorious, manageable, no-longer-looking-like-a-homeless-hippie self. After my mini glam session, I met up with The Husband and kids and stopped by the pet store in the mall.

Bad idea.

Terrible.

The worst.

So. Much. Cute.

Like, mind-boggling, heart-bursting, can-I-please-have-all-of-them kind of cute.

See, she gets it!

There was this adorable purebred husky puppy, 16 weeks old. One brown eye, one blue eye. She was gorgeous. She was also $999!

Then there was a purebred German Shepard puppy. He was gorgeous. $1299!!!

There were also purebred Golden Retriever pups. Also $1299.

In the smaller puppy section, there was this itty bitty black Chug (chihuahua-pug). He was only 9 weeks old. Couldn't have been more than two pounds. And I fell in love with him. But he was $800!

I didn't know dogs were so freaking expensive. And I'm not really a dog person either. But I think I've been converted.

Needless to say, I see a puppy in our future!

See?!?! Heart-exploding levels of cuteness. He must be mine. Oh yes, he must be mine.

Anyhoodle, after falling in love with dogs that I can't have right now, we roamed the mall for a bit so the kids could spend some of the Christmas money they got. And all I can say is, why the hell are Hex Bugs so popular?

Because they're a little creepy.

Especially when they go zipping across my kitchen floor and I just catch this glimpse in my peripheral vision and my heart jumps into my throat. I mean, despite the fact that I know that we don't have cockroaches, but there's always this split second where I panic slightly.

Ugh.

But my kids love Hex Bugs, and so as of yesterday they tripled their collection.

Yaaaaaayyyyyy…….

After that, we swung by and picked up my cousin so she could watch the kids while The Husband and I went on a date for our anniversary. We went to this restaurant called Poor Richard's. We've driven by it about a million times, and to be honest, the curb appeal isn't great. I had completely written it off as some skeezy dive. But then we were told time and again what a great place it was, so we decided to be brave and check it out.

And dayum!!!

So delicious!

Husband had a seafood sauté thing, and I had the vegetable primavera penne. Holy crapballs. It was crazy levels of yummy.

Very interesting atmosphere too. It kinda had an old English/pre-revolutionary war tavern vibe to it. Suffice it to say, I think we found our "place".

After that we went to see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire… which was awesome!  Good day, good date night, good times had by all.

All in all, I'm starting to feel more at home here now. And it's nice.

(Of course, there was a concerning thing that happened when we dropped my cousin back off at home, and that put a slight damper on the evening. You know when you know too much, and it makes you worried for someone, but you know you can't get involved? Yeah.)

Happy Birthday?

So…. My birthday is just days away.

The big 3-0.

I've got to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Leading up until now, I was totally stoked. A new decade is always exciting, and maybe once I'm in my 30s I will start feeling like an actual grown up.

(Probably not. But it's a distant hope.)

But now that I'm standing on the precipice, I've become a little afraid of jumping.

I'm not sure why exactly. I'm not one of those girls who thinks it's all down hill after your 20s. I'm not yet worried about crow's feet or frown lines or what have you. I still feel young and vibrant (if not a little tired right now because life has been hectic).

I think my hesitation with 30 is that, for one, I feel like time is flying by at lightening speeds, and it's making me a little panicky. I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to look back and wonder where my life went. I want to experience and enjoy and appreciate where I'm at and what I'm doing. I want to live in the now with gratitude and an open heart, and sometimes I feel like time is going by too quickly to do that. And so the "holy crap I'm 30" concept is a little shocking in that manner.

Also, in keeping with the I-hope-I-feel-like-a-grown-up mentality, turning 30 has left me grappling with some, shall we say, "life choices". Apparently in your 30s is when you become fully aware and confident in who you are, and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on that. But sometimes, being true to yourself leads to some uncomfortable encounters. And then that discomfort makes me second-guess myself. And then I feel like an uncertain kid again, instead of the rather fabulous almost-30-year-old that I am.

For one, as you know we just recently moved to Wyoming. Coming from the greater Seattle area, this has been quite a shock to the system! Recently, I've experienced some unpleasantness from a few of the local residents, and the only explanation I can come up with is my bumper stickers. They are, admittedly, fairly liberal. And the reactions I've received from some people? Alarming. I know who I am and I know what I believe in and why, and yet this unpleasantness has led me to question myself. Should I remove the bumper stickers? Should I try to blend in more in this extremely red state? Or should I face the discomfort and be myself, knowing that while it may make a few enemies, it will also allow me to make genuine friends, rather than friends with whom I cannot be myself.

Secondly, earlier this week I found myself in a really upsetting situation. Without getting too into the details, the basic gist is that I had to inform a close relative (the only one in this town) that I was uncomfortable with her on-off boyfriend coming over for Thanksgiving. There is a whole myriad of reasons, but it boils down to feeling uneasy with his unpredictable, unsavory, immature, and quite frankly, unsafe behavior. If you are incapable of being sober… ever… you're not welcome in my home and around my children. Especially after his most recent bout of asshole-itude. She may be willing to put up with it, but I'm not, nor do I have to. So a initiated the awkward conversation knowing that it would be uncomfortable, and possibly unpleasant. But I had no idea what it would turn into.

Suffice it to say, it was not pretty. There was no conversation, no discussion. She reacted instantly, and harshly. I was completely caught off guard. She said some incredibly awful things to me. She basically text-bombed me for almost three hours straight, taking every pot shot and low blow she could come up with, leaving me shaking and in tears. She then basically divorced me and my family.

All because I was honest with my feelings, and with what I was comfortable with in my home. Something I had every right to express. I was not mean, I did not call names or defame anyone's character (unlike her). I simply explained delicately, calmly, and rationally how I felt and why.

And apparently in her world, that means I'm incapable of love and an awful, heartless person.

Once again, I began questioning myself. Should I have said anything at all? Should I have kept my discomfort with her loser boyfriend to myself and just smiled and played nice, even if it meant ruining my Thanksgiving and exposing my children to potentially unpleasant or unsafe circumstances? Was I justified in expressing my feelings?

Having gained a little bit of time and clarity between now and the initial encounter, I do feel I did the right thing. I had to be true to myself, even though it produced an unexpected and unfortunate outcome. What kills me the most is that 1) I've been the one who's been there for her, supported her, rescued her, and stood up for her, and to have her forget that and turn on me so quickly stung, and 2) my children adore her, yet she is totally willing to write them off.

So, lesson learned.

Doing what is right for you is not always about doing what is easy. I guess this is all part and parcel of being a grown up?

Welcome to 30! Be prepared to know who you are. And to have people hate you for it.

Never work with animals or children

So this week has been… hectic.

And we're only half way through.

HUMP DAY!!! Woot woot!

I love that commercial. It never fails to make me giggle hysterically.

Anyhoodle, as I've mentioned before, I'm severely lacking in the motivation department with regards to school. Half way through week 2, and it's not getting much better.

Part of it stems from the fact that we are supposed to hear back from the underwriter today on whether or not our docs are approved. While she said that everything should be fine, and despite the fact that our credit is really good and we have a substantial down payment and we've given them every single piece of OCD-level documentation they've asked for (I'm almost expecting a request for organ tissue samples at this point), I'm still nervous. Because you never know.

The other part of my distraction stems from the fact that it is uncomfortable for me to type, properly hold a text book, or basically function like a regular human being on account of the vicious assault I suffered Monday night.

Yes, it hurt. And yes, I have a forearm tattoo. It's Anglo-Saxon and Norse runes. It translates into "Fate is wholly inexorable". 

Yeah. Courtesy of my cat. Little bastard.

So, I mentioned before about how he is a Long-Haired Asian, and so without regular trimmings, he can sometimes get poop on himself if he doesn't position himself properly in the litter box. It's gross, but it's something I just know will occasionally happen.

Well, it happened again Monday night. He just got a little bit on himself; better than usual, no biggie right? 

Wrong.

So wrong.

I'm right in the middle of making dinner when this happens, so of course it was super awesome timing.

So I stop what I'm doing, carry him to the bathroom, and clean his bum fir with baby wipes. I then discover he had also gotten some on his tummy as well, probably while attempting to clean the first mess. It becomes clear that he just needs a bath; baby wipes won't be enough in this situation.

We confine him to the bathroom while we eat, and then I start gathering the supplies for bath time. 

Well my daughter accidentally let the cat out of the bathroom at this point, and seeing as how he was already stressed about me cleaning him and pissed that I locked him in the bathroom when there was food smells he desperately needed to investigate, he bolted into the bedroom and tried to hide under my daughter's bed. I grabbed him and gingerly carried him back out, trying not to touch the still-stinky parts of his tummy.

And this is when he flipped the eff out and ripped my arm open*.

Let me tell you, it hurt. A lot.

And it bled. A lot.

To the point that I had to bust out the family pack of paper towels because the first-aid kit was too far away.

So I clean my arm and wrap it in gauze, and The Husband taped me up, and we proceeded to trim the cat's excessive fur and give him a good bath.

It didn't go well.

Lots of growling and angry mewing and escape attempts.

And of course, being that I was newly injured, I was only slightly helpful in the whole process. And a little jumpy about more potential attacks.

But we got him clean, we got him somewhat trimmed, and I kept my distance from him for the rest of the night.

All I can say is he's lucky I am morally opposed to de-clawing and find it utterly cruel; and he's lucky that I understand he was stressed and pissed about being cleaned; and he's lucky I understand that he hates being in the confined space of an apartment. He never used to act like this in our old house, so once we're in the new house (knock on wood) I'm hoping his attitude gets better.

Post-bath look of shame… or hatred...

Cute, fluffy, evil bastard.

*You know my priorities are a little screwy when my first thought was not "oh crap I'm bleeding profusely", it was "oh no my tattoo!"

Lazy Monday should be a thing

So I'm officially one week into fall quarter. My last fall quarter ever.

And I couldn't have less motivation if I tried.

Oy vey, this isn't a great sign!

I think most of it has to do with being preoccupied with the house and moving soon and everything that goes with that. Like oppressive amounts of stress.

I'm not sleeping super well, and I've just sort of been perpetually tired lately, and thus we have the lack of motivation to do school work.

Le sigh.

This first week was interesting though. I think I'm going to like my classes- the subject matter is interesting, and not overly complicated for my obviously struggling brain right now.

I also have already gotten into somewhat of a tiff with a fellow classmate, so it should be an interesting 10 weeks dealing with him.

See, we were discussing how racial and gender issues influence modern American families, and a gal and I were specifically discussing the integration of post-slavery African Americans into American society and the impacts that had on their family structures.

A guy in my class who hadn't been involved in the conversation to begin with decided to jump in then, and basically ripped me a new one. He was apparently trying to point out what he felt was a flaw in my comment, but decided to reference something incredibly violent and disturbing in order to do so. Not only did it not make any sense at all, but it was highly inappropriate for a class discussion.

Several other students jumped in and defended me, pointing out his non sequitur and the inappropriateness of his comments.

He then went on to attack me in other post threads that also did not involve him and did not apply to anything I said.

Basically, he's an icky troll who appears to hate women who have opinions. He was completely cordial to the men in the class, and kind of a wank to the women. Why someone with such an angry and bitter outlook would take a Sociology of the Family class is beyond me, but cheers to what looks to be an unexpectedly exciting quarter!

Beyond that, I have had AWOLNATION's Sail stuck in my head for a few days now. I was working on a Yahoo! article discussing movie releases, and after watching the trailer for The Counselor several times, that song is sufficiently lodged in my brain.

Which has made me miss 107.7 The End...

I think I'm going to go drink some tea... and maybe crack open a textbook... maybe...

Head colds and rocking chairs

I'm sick again.

I don't know what the deal is, but I've just been walloped the last few weeks with one illness after another. I assume my current levels of stress and lack of sleep probably have something to do with it. But if this is the way cold and flu season is stacking up, I'm totally screwed!

Clearly the next logical option...

Fall quarter is just around the corner for me, and I'm experiencing this weird combination of being excited and nauseatingly stressed about it. On the one hand, I'm the nerd that likes school and learning and challenging myself academically. On the other hand, I have enough going on right now that adding one more thing makes my brain hurt.

But I just need to keep plugging away at it. So close to being done, can't crap out now.

On the plus side, potty training has been going well. Monkey is managing to stay dry most of the time, and likes the reward of getting to pick out what color M&M he wants after a successful "go". Poops are still a solely-in-the-diaper thing, but I figure I'll address one battle at a time.

The end of the diaper era is nigh!

We went up to see the house this weekend. Seeing as how we live so far away right now, I'm not up in Cheyenne very often, and therefore hadn't seen the house in person in probably three weeks or so. It was very cool! The drywall is up, and most of the mudding and taping was done. The siding had also been started too. It looks so much more like an actual house now, rather than just some generic construction site, it was hard not to get all giddy about it. We're a month (ish) away from realizing our dream!

My favorite part of the house so far? As random as it sounds, it's the front porch.

It's huge! And it's just so pretty. And the way it is situated, it's almost totally blocked from the wind, so we'll actually be able to sit out there and enjoy it.

I'm very much looking forward to sitting on my giant porch in my cute little rocking chair with a cup o' tea and a good book. Because clearly I'm almost-30 going on almost-70...

Exactly

So I'm trying a new recipe tonight, and I'm a little concerned. It's the first meal that has sounded good to me in a few days. And that's the issue. See, when I'm sick, my tastes are usually pretty out of whack, so the fact that this recipe sounds really yummy to me makes me worried that it will actually taste like the feet of 18 dead frogs. (Nice visual, eh?)

We'll see. If it's yummy, I'll share it on here. If not, we'll just pretend we never had this conversation.

TGIF and other nonsense

It's Friday!

The weekend is officially here, and I am officially stoked.

I love weekends. I live for weekends.

Especially right now, when life is incredibly busy and going to get even more so in the coming weeks.

First, with our insane commuting schedule living so far away from Cheyenne. It's inconvenient, to say the least. Needless to say, we're all looking forward to the house being done and our lives resuming some semblance of a normal schedule.

Second, I start school in a couple of weeks, so once again I will be plunged into the chaos of earning a degree whilst running a household and raising three children and all that brouhaha. But only three quarters left, so I just need to buckle down for...9 more months...

It's depressing when I put it that way...

And third, we're moving soon. Again. Moving is one of the most stressful events in a person's life. And we will have done it twice in four months. Just thinking about that makes my eye twitch.

But we did get good news on the house! I think I mentioned before about how our builders had a very different timeframe than us when it came to the house being done. They had been planning on the end of November. Our purchase contract states our closing date is at the end of October. Slightly big difference, yes?

Well, once this came to light there was a flurry of *slightly intense* conversations between us, our real estate agent, and the builders. The builders came back with a promise that we'd be in no later than the middle of November. Considering our lease ends November 15, that was cutting it a little close, but what can we do?

But then we got a text yesterday from the builder saying that the carpet order came in, so now all the materials are in and ready to go. She said it looks like we're on track for the end of October after all!

Granted, given all the hiccups and headaches we've had so far, I'm not holding my breath on that.

But still. Having that be feasible?

Totally cool with me!

So yes, right now weekends are my solace, my peace, my zen. It's the only time of the week for the foreseeable future that I can do what I want, and according to the schedule that works for me.

TGIF baby!

Good luck not having this song stuck in your
 head all weekend now!

Sociology of Marvin the Martian

My textbooks came today.

*dunh dunh dunh*

Yep. Fall quarter is officially just around the corner. Slightly over three weeks away.

I can feel it lurking, staring at me, daring me to once again maintain my 3.9 GPA and my sanity simultaneously.

It's not an easy feat, and thus far I've done... well, not too bad overall. Oceanography nearly killed me, but that was awhile ago, and the scars are finally beginning to fade.

Too dramatic, you say?

I assure you, it's not. That class was brutal. I swear it left me with a limp.

Anyway, this is my LAST fall quarter ever! Well, unless I go to grad school. But right now the thought makes me gag slightly, so I'll put a pin in it until... indefinitely...

So yes, Last Fall Quarter.

This is quite possibly my last "not scary" quarter. Winter will be when I laughingly try to juggle an extra course load, and Spring is when I'll be doing my utterly terrifying degree capstone.

This quarter I'm taking Intro to Philosophy, because I love nothing more than blithering on about metaphysical nonsense, and Sociology of the Family, because it genuinely sounded interesting (and the other sociology class I wanted ended up being canceled for this quarter, so plan B).

My main stress for this quarter (besides the "new class" jitters) is the fact that I will be moving right in the middle of it. Which means that I'll need to arrange internet service before we're even in the house, because I will absolutely not be able to wait two weeks or, god forbid, have to attempt dial-up or DSL! It also means that I'll have to do all of my assignments while also packing, loading, and unpacking my entire life, once again.

Le sigh.

I swear, somewhere inside my brain is a tiny little sadist...

Or just him...

Digging out and drying off

So the skies have cleared above Colorado, but the devastation will last for weeks, if not months. As you've probably heard by now, eastern Colorado, from just below the Wyoming border, all the way down past Pueblo, was hit by massive, record-breaking rainfall, flash floods, and widespread damage.

Roads were ripped up, mudslides took out everything in their path, people were trapped by rapidly rising water, and many communities became their own little islands, completely cut off to the rest of the state.

Seven people have now been confirmed to have died, though that number is expected to rise in the days and weeks to come. Currently, over 1000 people are still unaccounted for in Larimer County. Over 600 are unaccounted for in Boulder County.

As a resident of Larimer Country, I can tell you, there are no words to describe it.

Our neighborhood became its own little island for a few days, though the water has begun to recede a bit. But we were one of the lightest hit areas, something that definitely weighs on you. We were lucky. So many more were not.

As reported by CNN, Army and National Guard helicopters are in the air today, trying to locate and extract as many people as possible. With hundreds, if not thousands of people awaiting rescue however, it could still be a long wait. Those who choose to stay behind in their homes are facing weeks without power, running water, and cell service.

Hundreds of homes and business have been totally destroyed, and countless more are severely damaged. The extent of the damage has been compared to that of Hurricane Sandy. The cost just to repair the roads is already estimated in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

If you are able to donate food or supplies, please do so. Contact the Red Cross for ways to help. Thousands of people need it.

Good news Thursday

That's an understatement!

Sweet Baby Jesus, today has been a good day. I feel a little uncomfortable getting too excited about it, because I have that superstitious side of my brain that feels like if you openly acknowledge something good, then it will end up going away.

But after such a long string of struggles and obstacles and bad news and letdowns, today was a breath of fresh air.

So first of all, our new mortgage guy did our official credit pull yesterday in order to start our financing paperwork. I was a little nervous, because he said he would call us first thing this morning to give us the update on it, and he didn't call...

But it turns out that he was just busy with a couple of closings today. Phew!

The Husband spoke with him early this afternoon, and our credit is... well... quite wonderful! Not only did our scores jump up fairly significantly since the first mortgage guy pulled our credit in May, but that stupid credit reporting that gave us so much grief a couple weeks back is GONE BABY GONE!

My guess is it fell off due to its age.

You know, just like it was supposed to. Just like we told the previous mortgage guy it was supposed to. Just like we told the collections company itself that it was supposed to.

So suck it, Alaska!

Muhaha.

I think they already did...

So the new mortgage guy has several more closings tomorrow (lucky bastards), so it looks like we will have to wait until next week to sign our disclosures and lock in an interest rate. But our paperwork is good to go. Which is an indescribable relief.

Then after that little tidbit of fabulous news, I spoke with our builder. I had been trying to get in touch with her to see if she had ordered the carpet we picked out last week, and she's a tough lady to get ahold of. But I did, and while she hasn't ordered the carpet yet (apparently she's doing it tomorrow), everything else is ordered and we are totally on track to be done by the end of October!

She also said that the only potential snafu is the well. The well water has to pass very strict regulations (apparently some of the strictest in the country... which I guess is good for water quality) and it takes at least two weeks to complete the process. If they pass the first test, we're good to go. If they don't, however, it can be as long as six more weeks to get it re-tested.

It's like a government regulated Punxsutawney Phil.

Anyway, if the well fails, that pushes back our closing date several weeks, which sucks in an unbelievable way and totally screws us over.

BUT!!!

Being the blessed soul that she is (or decided to be today, anyway), our builder said that in the unlikely chance that the well fails the particulates test and has to be retested, we can go ahead and still move in and just wait until our new closing date! She knows had badly we hate our apartment and how badly we want to be in the house, and I guess she felt sorry enough for us to grant us early occupancy.

And I'm more than willing to take her pity if it means getting in my house on time! So that was excellent to hear.

And then, to make a good day even better, we found out that The Husband is getting a 2% raise! I mean, nothing life changing by any means, but more is more, and we're more than happy to take it!

So, like I said, today was a good day.

Labor Day, Anne Taintor, and Housewifery

Hey hey! I hope everyone had a safe and happy Labor Day weekend!

Ours was very low-key, which was nice. Saturday we lounged around all morning, and then in the afternoon I went grocery shopping and ran a few errands. Sunday I spent the late morning cleaning, and the afternoon getting some work done on my laptop. And yesterday, we lounged around in the morning, took the kids swimming in the afternoon, and then had a super yummy roast for dinner with all the trimmings! Great closeout to a relaxing weekend!

Today, of course, is back to reality. Kids are off to school, The Husband is at work, and I'm here getting all my housewifery done.

(It's a word, I promise)

First up, I have to deal with our rental office. For the record, while I don't have a lot of experience in apartment living, I can attest to the fact that this particular rental management company is... well, terrible.

Unprofessional.

Disorganized.

Lousy at communicating.

And I have to call and deal with them today because something is wonky with our account. Lucky me. I absolutely cannot wait until our house is done!!! I will not miss this place at all!

After that, my day is pretty normal. Laundry, mopping, a bit of trashy reality television. Good stuff.

Props to Anne Taintor for infusing 1950s charm with modern day biting sarcasm!

My kind of girl.