Homeless on the range?!?

Hey hey!

So I know I fell off the blogging bandwagon lately. I've been a little busy. You know, that whole preparing to move multiple states (and a timezone) away. It tends to be a bit time consuming.

But I'm back bitches!

So this past weekend we were down in Cheyenne, getting the lay of the land and trying to accomplish certain pre-moving goals. Like establishing a place to live. You know, crazy stuff like that.

Suffice it to say, it didn't go as planned.

First of all, if someone is offering full price to buy your house... take the freaking offer. Don't play hardball just because you can. Shit like that pisses me off. We encountered that when we were buying a home up here too. Builders decide "hey, there's interest in my houses, let's try to squeeze every last penny from them!"

No dice, bro. Unlike some homebuyers, I'm more than okay with walking away if you decide to be a wanker. Mama don't play like that.

So we found a property we liked and we made an offer on it. 3,000 square feet, three bedrooms, two baths, with a full, unfinished basement (that will eventually give us five bedrooms and three baths) on 35.5 acres! For a good price!

The catch?

The house isn't built yet, so we'd have to rent a place for about four months in the meantime. Le sigh.

But for my dream home? Sure, I can deal.

We made an offer- full price, just asking for closing costs. The builders decided to play hardball, and countered. We were unimpressed. After mulling it over, we countered their counter-offer, and made it clear that we were more than willing to walk away.

Because is the house perfect? Yes. Is it worth being put over a barrel for? Nope.

So after waiting until the last possible second before we had to leave Cheyenne on Monday, the builders finally got back to us- they had accepted our offer! So we are under contract. Check one thing off the To Do list.

Did I register my kids for school down there? Nope. Because I was too busy running around trying to scramble and find a place to rent. And that took up an unimaginable amount of time.

Did we leave Cheyenne with a short-term rental lined up? Nope!

*facepalm*

*heavy sigh*

*long drag of a cigarette even though I don't smoke*

Sad Keanu understands

So here's the thing with Cheyenne.

It's a military town. At any given time there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of military personnel in town- all needing a place to live. And many, if not most, of them rent. On top of that, most of the available (and decent) rental houses won't do a short-term lease, and we only need a place to rent for about four months while our house is being built.

*grumblegrumble*

So we turned to townhouses and apartments.

I totally struck out on townhouses. No one called me back. Not a single one. Jerkfaces.

And apartments? Well, all but one of the nice complexes in Cheyenne are low-income, so we make way too much to even be considered. And they're all full anyway.

And the non-income-restricted places? Well there is only one nice, newer complex in town. And it's booked out months in advance. Everywhere else? Run down, outdated... and full.

We did finally get a call back from one complex shortly before we were leaving town on Monday. We went to check out the unit that was becoming available, and... well... there's no way in hell I would allow my children to live there. To put it mildly. It had a very distinct rape-y vibe about it, and I'm pretty sure we would have gotten an infection of some sort from the carpets. We bailed about as quickly and politely as humanly possible!!!

So we left town Monday afternoon totally defeated and dejected and anxious and stressed. Yes, we found a house for our family, yay! But we lacked a place to live until then... un-yay.

Monday night after we got home I went into OCD mode. I google'd every rental option imaginable in the Cheyenne area, and then branched out to the surrounding areas as well. I did find a cute little house in Cheyenne that was available, but the owners were assholes, and after several conversations with them I chose to walk away. You can only take so many times of someone reiterating that they are looking to benefit themselves and not to help you out before you want to tell them to fuck off!

So after numerous phone calls, e-mails, and mini-panic attacks, I am pleased to announce we finally have a short-term rental lined up for when we get down there. It's a cute two-bedroom (plus a sunroom) apartment that'll suffice until our house is done. Not my ideal situation to be back in apartment mode, but whatever. It's temporary.

The first catch? Because we're doing a non-conventional lease, we're paying more per month. To be paying this much for a two-bedroom apartment boggles my mind, but I'm letting it go.

The second catch? It's in Fort Collins.

As in Colorado.

As in 40 miles from Cheyenne!!!

Looks like we're commuting for a while.

*sigh*

Incommudicado no mas

I know, I know, I suck, I fell off the radar.

Sorry.

I have much to tell, I've just been crazy busy lately.

Back soon. With details.

Bobbing and weaving

Alright.

So things are getting better.

I mean, they're not at all what I had expected, hoped for, or necessarily wanted.

But I guess life is all about being flexible, right?

So the whole Alaska thing is in the process of being resolved. I already have a folder's worth- yes, a whole file folder!- of documentation in dealing with this nonsense.

We had our appraisal today, which I guess went well? I have no clue. The appraiser said we had a lovely home, so hopefully that translates to it being appraised at a value that does not screw us over on the sales price. It shouldn't, but considering how things have been going the past few days, I'm not believing anything until I see it in writing.

So assuming the appraisal turns out well, then we move toward closing. Our buyers are getting USDA financing, so it's going to take longer than I would like to close, but hey, whatever.

At this point?

I just want to move forward, have a closing date set, and hope for the best. I've given up fighting for things to go exactly my way.

Apparently the universe has decided that me making plans is HILARIOUS!!!

We've all but missed out on the original house we wanted to buy in Cheyenne. I mean, it's still available right now. But by the time we finally close on the sale of this house? Our realtor down there has said it isn't likely the house will still be available.

So Plan B.

We're going to submit an offer on another lot in the same neighborhood. This lot is just in the permit stage, so it'll be approximately four months before we'll get to move in, but it's our next best option.

This of course means we will be stuck renting for a few months once we get down there, but I've accepted that. As long as we have a plan to follow, I'm good. This whole being-in-limbo thing is killing me.

I also realized today that I'm going to be in Cheyenne next week. As in, the last week of Spring Quarter. As in, when all of my major assignments are due!

Fuck.

For some reason this hadn't dawned on me until this morning. So now I have to do a mad scramble to finish everything before next Thursday morning. This includes reading 250+ slides on Islam followed by two discussion questions, the last chapter in my Race and Ethnicity book followed by two discussion questions and a quiz, as well as two term papers- one for each class.

...

Oy vey.

Oh yeah, and my son's birthday party is this weekend, so I have to clean my house and move all of our packing stuff... somewhere...

Solid plan

Anyone think to bring a parachute?

So yesterday afternoon was "hanging on in quiet desperation".

Today?

Spiraling into a pit of gloom with nary a 'chute in site.

Never felt as connected to Wile E. Coyote as I do today

Everything was just smooth sailing so far. The Husband got the amazing job. Our house sold in one day. We found the house we want to buy down there. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?

Nope.

Not even close.

First, late yesterday afternoon we realized that our real estate agent had screwed up and that we weren't going to be getting back the amount of money from the sale of this house that we had been told and had been banking on as part of the down payment for the Cheyenne house.

Cue the panic.

Then, we find out that while we are "technically" pre-approved, we need to "take care of the medical debt".

Erm.... excuse you? What medical debt?!?

Seven years ago we spent the summer up in Alaska (long story, maybe someday I'll tell it) and while we were there The Husband got severe kidney stones. Well we didn't have insurance at the time, so we walked away with over $30,000 in medical debt. 

Yes kids, 30k. 

Hooray for the American medical system, amiright?

Well over the next few years I worked my ass off to chip away at it, and as of when we bought our house almost two years ago, everything had been paid off or forgiven. No medical debt in sight.

So what the hell happened?!?

I have no freaking clue. This debt popped back up on our credit recently, and we have no idea why. It should have been taken care of years ago, it wasn't on there until recently even though it lists it as being from seven years ago, and the biggest problem is when The Husband called to get it straightened out, the people handling it were complete assholes. And continue to be.

We have been trying in good faith to get it squared away, and they're just being bullies. It's unnecessary. 

We called you. You didn't call us, we called you in an effort to get this taken care of. And yet you're going to be dickwads about it?!?

*grumblegrumblegrumble*

So after a fury of phone calls and scrambling, it looked liked we had gotten everything straightened out. Our agent fixed the issue, so we will still end up getting the amount we had been assured, which was a huge relief. Then the Alaska debt people seemed willing to play ball, and it looked like that was going to be taken care of. 

We went to bed last night feeling like things were back in place.

And then this morning?

Fuck my life.

Everything fell to shit again, and I'm doing everything in my power to not lose my mind and flop in a heap on the floor and cry hysterically. I don't know whether I'm angry or sad or what, my emotions are all jumbled right now.

While we are still going to get the money out of our house, there may not be the Cheyenne house we want after all. The builders won't accept a contingency-based offer, so we can't even offer on the house until our Washington house closes, which is in July. So we may miss out entirely before then. 

*fingers crossed our house closes early!*

On top of that, the deal we thought we had worked out with the Alaska debt people was thrown back at us. I'm sorry, but anyone who refuses to put anything in writing?!? Shady as hell. Bottom line. I don't know what the deal is with this company, but they are not operating on any sort of proper and professional level. I'm seeing a lawyer in our future, because I don't trust these people!

So as of right now, I have no idea where we stand. We are flying down to Cheyenne next week, and the original plan was to make the official offer on the house down there and get the kids' schools figured out and all that.

Now?

*shrug*

We can't offer on the house until this house closes. And our financing won't go through until this debt thing is squared away (which is stupid, because we have really good credit, and clearly this randomly posted debt isn't affecting our ability to pay AT ALL, but whatevs. Yay bullshit government red tape.)

So we're stuck.

I'm at a loss. What do you do when life is out of your control? What do you do when people are being stubborn asshats and needlessly digging their heels in (even though it does them no good and they are clearly the ones in the wrong), simply because they want to be difficult? I don't understand it. 

Sometimes it sucks being an optimist, because then you're even more crushed when people act like douchecanoes. (Worse than a douchebag, less interesting than a douchewaffle)

So now when we fly down to Cheyenne next week, I guess we plan on seeing rental houses instead? There's no telling how quickly this will all be settled, and I'm sorry, but I'm not cramming my kids into an apartment. I can't even fathom that right now.

I still know that moving down there is a good move, I'm not doubting that. I just had a sneaking suspicion that things were going TOO easily. 

I hate that I was right.

So about that parachute...

"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way..."

So life has been... hectic lately. To say the least.

That whole 'preparing to move halfway across the country while simultaneously trying to maintain the rest of my life responsibilities' thing.

You know. No biggie, right?

Of course right.

So the first big part of this last week (or the only truly news-worthy part, anyway) is that... WE SOLD OUR HOUSE!!!!

Inoright?!?

It was listed for a whole four hours, which is nuts. All I can say is thank God for a seller's market!

And the fact that we've owned it for 20 months and managed to make a profit? Amazing. Granted, we're not walking away millionaires by any means, but still. That's a major obstacle that we can take off our To Do list, and that's a huge sigh of relief!

(Of course, now we have to find a new place to live... 1800 miles away... no prob, right?... right?!?)

Beyond that, trying to balance my end-of-the-quarter school craziness, the kids' end-of-the-school-year chaos, keeping my house from spiraling into a tsunami of clutter, and not having a mental breakdown in the process has been... tricky at best.

Who's idea was this again?

Mine!?

Oh that's right.

Crap.

The irony of accidentally ending up moving halfway across the country... Only I could manage something like that.

Overall, I am getting excited about the move. Stressed beyond belief. Losing weight. Losing sleep. Overwhelmed and slightly panicky. But excited nonetheless!

I think it will be fun to see a new part of the country, to explore places I wouldn't otherwise get to see as easily, and to make new memories and share this experience with my kids (although my daughter has convinced herself that a posse of rattlesnakes is awaiting her, and I can't convince her otherwise!) I am looking forward to the opportunities and adventures awaiting us in Cheyenne.

I'm also wishing I could Go-Go-Gadget Magic Packing Machine my house.